Baby Refuses to Change (Diaper, That Is)

Updated on August 27, 2008
M.L. asks from Wheaton, IL
11 answers

My son Braeden has a quite literal fit whenever I try to change his diaper. This started about two weeks ago. He refuses to lay on his back, and if I go ahead and place him on his back, he starts screaming, kicking and trying to roll over and crawl away. He seems to do this more after he has pooped. He plays just fine so he doesn't seem to have any leg or other injuries. He goes to daycare during the day, and they have not mentioned that he does this while getting changed. When I take him to a changing station in a store, he does not do this. He also does not do this when anyone else changes him, such as Grandparents or my husband. It just seems to happen at home and with me.

My son is very active now; he is constantly crawling or pushing something. In fact one of his nicknames is the Moving Man. So my initial thought was that he is so busy and active, he doesn't want to be still even to get a diaper change. But I'd like to make sure this isn't a sign of something more serious as well.

Has anyone else had this experience, and if so, what did you do? I'd prefer not to have baby poop all over the house!

Thanks.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for their great suggestions and encouragement. I am going to try them all! As a matter of fact, my husband confessed that he has had to change our son standing up once or twice as well, so I guess I'm not the only one who's had to deal with my son's fussiness.

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W.P.

answers from Chicago on

Totally normal-my boy was ruthlessly opposed to getting diaper changed at this age. I would do everything to distract him;also I totally stopped using a changing table-I put a towel on the bed or floor and did it there, which was slightly better. I would change his diaper when he was standing up when at all possible. The laying down and holding still just really bugged him. The upside is-this is good motivation for using the potty! Even though he is not old enough yet, I think children that hate being diapered are easier to toilet teach.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds so familiar - and I don't blame you, I didn't want poop all over my house at the time either! Of course our little angel didn't pull this stunt at daycare, with daddy, or in a public restroom on a changing table either. Don't you love how they reserve this special behavior just for us?!?

Things you can do to TRY to help the situation:

-have an unusual item handy (portable diaper wipe holder, empty plastic bottle with beans in it, wash cloth, etc.) and hand it to him right before you change the diaper. We started using ordinary household things to 'distract' him. He'd sit there and inspect them, flip them over, wave them, etc. while we changed the diaper as quickly as possible.

-use the strap. We started strapping our son down when he would thrash about during a diaper change. He knows what the strap means and still does to this day. He HATES being strapped down, but it is one of the only ways he won't kick, flip, or smear poop all over the place.

-Have everything ready...I mean down to pulling out how many wipes you think you'll need and a fresh diaper opened up before the change.

-You could try to change him standing up (that was suggested to me when I was faced with this challenge), but for us that meant he would stand up then sit down, then try to jump off the table. If I had four hands - two to hold him, one to take off his pants and another to wipe and affix the new diaper I would have been in business. No luck.

It does get better, but it's annoying as hell for a while. Good luck and know that this, too, shall pass!

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M.A.

answers from Chicago on

My son does the EXACT same thing with me....and only me. My husband thinks it's because I talk to my son (like they say to do) about everything that's going on....including when we change his diaper. I do this to encourage language development, but maybe my saying "Let's go change your diaper" or however I may say it at the time gives him the opportunity to protest. My hubby wants me to just start doing it instead of talking about it. If we're reading a story or singing a song, I'm going to try just continuing with our activity while changing his diaper and not making such a big deal about the actual diaper changing. Wish me luck and good luck to you, too!

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N.G.

answers from Chicago on

Oh fun,fun, no? My little girlie does this ALL the time, except for others too, lol! I give her something new each time to distract her, play peek-a-boo, change her standing at times, and have even resorted to changing her on the floor with my leg holding her down. I do notice I have to be gentle when she poops and I wash her butt in the sink to feel better. They come to think of it as a game, I think to get a rise out of you. Count to 10, or 20, or 30, LOL!

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

My baby started doing that at the same age. The only thing that started working for us was for me to engage him by singing his favorite songs while I was changing him. If I gave him a toy to hold, he'd throw it. But he LOVES when we sing to him. His favorite was patty-cake...and at the end when "you put it in the oven for baby and me," I'd always pretend I was putting the cake on his belly and that cracked him up to no end. Enough of a distraction to get through the diaper change. And stay patient! Babies freak out more if they sense that you are tense.

Also I got really good at changing pee-only diapers while he was standing up. :)

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H.C.

answers from Chicago on

All the time at that age. It's a phase!

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M.W.

answers from Chicago on

Since it only happens when you change the baby makes me wonder if your scratching him. Do you have long nails or wear a lot of rings or jewelery if so, you may be scratching his little skin. They remember this and think your going to scratch him when you wipe his little hiney. This happened to a friend of mine and it was due to her fake nails, she couldn't feel when she scratched him so she was unaware of it. She stopped getting fake nails (until her son was potty trained) and he stopped freaking out when she changed his diaper. Good Luck!

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B.L.

answers from Chicago on

Hey Megan,
It is so normal. With my twins, I learned to change diapers in seconds because they rolled and crawled off so quickly. It will pass. Try giving him something new to look at when you change his diaper (that still didn't work for me) but worth a shot.

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

I think lots of babies get this. I try distracting my little one by giving her a toy to play with while I change her but it can be quite a struggle. Sometimes, I change her on the floor as I worry she will manage to roll off the changing table. The other thing I have noticed is if there is even a hint of irritation, she wiggles as i pressume the wiping hurts a bit. of course it is a joy to have such an active healthy little one but there certainly are moments when I count from 1 to 10 and they all involve changing or dressing :)

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

Megan,

this must be the magic age when the boys or babies want to scoot away from mom - I also went through this with my last son (can't remember if I went through it with my first son - he is almost 11!) but... I would try to give him a toy to play with or if that didn't work, I would tap his butt and tell him to sit still - it seemed like it was a phase, but I just kept staying "firm" (and no, I don't believe in spankings - this was just a tap) I just would tell him to sit still or make sure I had a toy that he was interested in. I didn't even try to do a diaper while he stood - didn't want to get into that "battle".

good luck!

P.S. at least he only did it for you and not everyone else because my son did it for everyone!

I am a SAHM with 3 children - my youngest just turned 3 yesterday! My oldest is almost 11 and then my daughter is almost 7! I really am enjoying being home with them and here for them!

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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

My son did this and of course still does once in a while at 23 months, though he does it now with grandparents and my husband as well. Someone gave me the best piece of advise which I feel I should share. "How can we expect them to listen when we say no, if we don't listen to them when they say it?" For diaper changes I always ask first. If he says no, I say ok, and wait about five minutes before asking again. He gets three chances, before I say "OK tough cookies kid it's happening". Im not one for "reasoning" very often with a toddler, or giving in, actually Im pretty strict, however if I am trying to teach him to listen to me then I need to show him the same respect. Sitting in a dirty diaper for 15 minutes more is not going to hurt him. Usually by the third time I ask my son is ready to let me change him anyway.

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