Baby Not Pointing

He sounds PERFECT, quit reading about what other people think is correct, and look at him-what do you think?
See! He is perfect!
best,k

My son is 18 months and just started pointing a few months ago. He is very intelligent, has a HUGE vocabulary and uses lots of phrases and some simple sentences already, and can do puzzles that are hard for my 2 1/2 year old! Unless he's really behind on a bunch of other things, I wouldn't worry about it at all.

i wouldn't worry about it. if he can verbally communicate with you and can reach for things maybe he has no reason to need to point. my son didn't point for a long time and he also didn't talk for a long time and there is nothing wrong w/ him. children typically point when they see something that they want and can't verbally communicate w/ you. my kids still don't point much at all. they would always grab my hand and say "come on, i'll show you". i DEFINITELY wouldn't worry

When my baby was born she came premature because of a car accident I had where someone hit me from behind, two days after she was born I was told she had a congential heart disease ( not related to the premature birth) and needed heart surgery.
4 years and one open heart surgery plus two stentings later, and more fear ,stress, anxiety than you could imagine! , she is here with me as healthy and alive as any 4 year old. She still needs on going surgeries to keep her heart healthy.
I am writing this not to upset you or anyone ,but to remind myself and each other that we are so blessed to have these wonderful little beings to have and to hold and to raise with love. I truly do not even remember when Lehla began 'pointing' ,as she was always a clear communicator. It sounds like yours is as well !
I do remember for about a 'minute' stressing over the charts (she was ALWAYS below of height and weight ect.....) I let that go because as aonther mother said below just look at your child, be with your child and you will know if he or she is ok and what to do.
They taught you this in the hospital as well, when the machines went crazy beeping and my heart would almost stop, the always said look at the child first, and 95 % of the times it was a simple thing like one of her leads had fallen off .
Each one of us is so beautiful and unique. We grow in Gods time ,not human time!
with love,
S.

Honey, all those "shoulds" are give or take a few months. Your little one sounds just right to me. Its hard not to worry about that stuff, though. Try to let it go and bring it up at his 1 year visit with the pediatrician. Its good to be concerned and alert. We all want to know if there is something wrong with our child asap. Good luck and congrats on the self awareness.

Everyone develops at different times. It sounds as if he's doing great, with all the other descriptions you've given. I wouldn't worry if I were you. If you are still worried, check with the doctor.

LOL! If you don't sound exactly like me! No worries! My daughter will be 2 in January and she just started pointing around 18 months. She didn't start walking until a few weeks after her birthday either. All kids develope at different paces. I have learned to not take to heart those milestones. I was worried and kept asking her doctor about these milestones and she kept teling me she will when she is ready. A way you can try to make him point is by asking him what he wants and give him choices. Please don't stress. Happy and healthy is really all you need to worry about right now. a side note... milestones can have a range of ages to accomplish things and i wouldn't worry if he isn't in that first month. Usually when they tell you your baby should do something by a certain age there is a 3 month window. He will be just fine and before you know it he will be doing more than you have expected.!

I work with babies 0-3 in an autism prevention program. A few thoughts come to mind. One is that typical babies point between 8-12 months. Are you giving him the opportunity to show you he can point? Are you showing him pointing by pointing to things in books? Show him only, don't take his finger and force. Get those mirror neurons working by showing him what you are doing like pointing to an airplane in the sky. "Look James, an airplane!" If you do this over and over throughout the day he should pick it up in a few days. If he does not then it is never too early to have him evaluated by a team of specialists. Lots of times parents think their baby is developing typically but they are missing things, have splintered skills or are inappropriate. Then they get the vaccines at 12 months and BOOM, you have a HUGE situation. Until he does point DO NOT get ANY vaccines. Keep his toxic load low as possible by feeding him organic, putting him on Nordic Naturals Children's DHA, cod liver oil. Doesn't matter if it is in the baby food and all that because they need the pure form to get the full benefit. Put him on probiotics, I-Flora for Kids is a great brand. All soaps, shampoos and sunscreens should be natural with no chemicals. I'm telling you this makes a difference. I just was at the NAtional Autism Conference and all the experts agree that our children are toxic and some kids can't rid of them as easily as others. So be proactive and prevent future problems with ADHD, autism or other spectrum disorders. Make him crawl for 4-6 months correctly. There are many things to look at when preventing autism. Also, when you are ready to give the vaccines, get a blood test and check his white blood count. It needs to be over 7500 to be strong enough to receive the shots. If it is lower, forget it. He will be at high risk. I hope I have given positive feedback with truth to the matter because this is something I deal with daily. Good luck and let us know how things turn out. And remember turn the TV off, and let him PLAY. Strengthen auditory by providing music CD's and do not teach him any numbers, letters business like teching him to read. By knowing some of these tiny secrets, you can actually prevent autism!

L.,

The first thing I noticed in your "A Little About me" statement is that you have an older daughter. :-) Those beautiful little girls tend to develop much faster than our precious little boys do! Honestly, I don't remember the pointing thing, but this is what I do know. My oldest, now 6, was born very small 4 lbs 7 oz and not premature (37 weeks). There were things he did way ahead of the scale - like talk. He was talking full, clear, and understandable conversations at 18 months - it was quite scary!!! I did nothing to feed this development - it was just who he was. However, he didn't walk until he was 15 months old!!!!! I was VERY concerned and took him to the neurologist at about 13 months old even though the Pediatrician told me he was fine. The neurologist did an MRI to appease me, but at the same time pulled out about 6 different medical books to show me that my concern was not warrented. There are different chemicals and parts of the brain that develop at different stages and some develop slower than others. When that chemical or section of the brain is developed then he said my son would walk. The same is true for your son! When he and his body are ready to hit that next milestone, he will. He sounds perfectly normal to me and I would not worry at all!!!! On top of that, you have a little girl to compare to, which is not a good comparison.

No worries!! Get some sleep!!! :-)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Milestones are just approximate. I don't think that our son was pointing at 1, either, but at 26 months. his speaking is above average, so you never know. When you have your one year appt with the MD, they will probably ask you a series of questions to see where he is wrt the average child. Some things he may be ahead of, others behind, and it's all fine. If he's happy and interactive, then everything else will come in time.

Hi there,
You sound just like me. My son is almost two and seems to be doing things at his own speed as well. Let me tell you--try not to stress. Your son sounds perfectly healthy and happy and kids move at different rates. For instance, my son was a late walker. It freaked me out so badly that I actually took him to a developmental therapist. The session cost me $150.00 and as I was explaining to the man that my son wasn't walking, he took his first steps right in the therapist's office. lol, there was nothing wrong with him, he was just taking his time. So try to relax and take it easy. Those "milestones" are just averages--some kids reach them earlier and some quite a bit later. As long as you don't see anything else wrong I would say just let it go. But if it's really bothering you, you could ask your pediatrition and he/she will probably give you the reassurance that everything is fine.
Hugs and good luck!
F.

I think just as adults, children/babies have different strengths. One 12 month old may be excelling in physical milestones...while another struggles, yet succeeds with linguistic skills. Your son sounds like he has conquered quite a bit and there doesn't seem to be a reason to worry. I would try not to focus on it and next time you happen to be at the doctor just mention it...but it doesn't sound like something worth paying a copay for to be seen on its own. Plus, who wants to be inside a doctor's office with all the flu and other illnesses going around unless absolutely necessary...you might end up leaving sick when you were perfectly healthy when you got there.

I don't think you need to be concerned. You probably know that it's best not to compare your children with other people's kids. They work on different skills at different times. And try not to compare your own kids. I have a 3 year old daughter too so I know it can be difficult. My son is almost 14 months old. To answer your question, he started pointing last week. He's fine developmentally, but my daughter was much more verbal at this point. My son has been quicker in other areas like self feeding and walking. When I took him for his 12 month well visit, his pediatrician didn't even ask about pointing when she went through her list.

As a worrier over usually nothing I feel your pain :). Remember all kids develop at their own pace. My son is HIGHLY verbal, started talking around 12-15 mos and hasn't quit since (He's two and has full on conversations with you) That being said, he didn't walk until he was 18 mos. old. Verbal skills developed first with him. I'm certain with your otherwise happy healthy child that is the case as well. It may sound silly but to chase those crazy worries away, every time your brain goes into overdrive replace those thoughts with "I am grateful I have a happy, healthy child" Pretty soon those positive thoughts will come first before the negative. God Bless!

Hi L.,
You have to remember that every baby is different and even though 12 mos is the "average" time to begin pointing, it is perfectly normal if your baby does it earlier or later. It's just like how some babies walk at 12 mos; others walk at 8 mos and some not until 18 mos! I just took my 18-month old daughter to the pediatrician and that was the first time she asked me if my daughter could point. So relax and know that your baby is fine!

Hi, L.--

Everyone's given you great responses, I think. Milestones are approximate!

I was a very worried mom for my daughter's first few years, but some things in my life kind of forced me to change the by the time my son was born, and I am so glad! My children are both thriving with a more relaxed mom--and I actually have fun with them.

I try to remember that I don't need to control the chaos, just to manage it, and that they won't be doing this(whatever it is)at their wedding receptions. And little boys are great for teaching you this one--sometimes falling down isn't a failure of the plan, it is the plan!

Phases pass, kids are their own people and do things in their own time. And they're beautiful!

L., yu sound alot like me.

Whenever yu have a medical concern re a child, contact pediatrics.com, a dr will answer yu.
For an adult, try WebMD.com.

Bless yu & yours,
D. P.
PS I was told it's inpolite to point (couldn't resist that!)

I'm glad you prefaced it that you tend to worry a lot. He will probably start pointing very soon. A year is the time kids usually start pointing. But every child is different. Relax! You are doing a great job, Mom! I'm pretty sure your baby is fine.

L.,
First off, please relax! I too am a habitual worrier and experienced the exact same concerns when my son was 12 months. He was doing everything else developmentally except pointing, which concerned me. He was and still is very much a boy in that he is advanced on all of his physical skills (climbing, running, squatting, etc.)and only recently (about 4 months ago, he is now 21 months) started pointing. I decided to listen to his pediatrician and just sat back and delighted in all of the other milestones he was reaching, and eventually he did start pointing, he just reached that one a little later than the charts say he should have. If your son is on track with most everything else, I would try not to worry but to encourage his other areas of advancement at present. He will get there in his own time as those are just general guidelines, not specific outlines to the day. All children develop at different rates so just keep an eye on him and try to enjoy these precious moments with him in the meantime. He WILL get there, trust me! I find I worry a little less with each passing month and understand more that all kids are different and unique in their own ways. Hope I have been able to put your mind at ease a little. Take care:)
-C.

You seem to be making a molehill out of...a grain of sand? Just go over all the things he's doing and STOP WORRYING. The milestones you are adhering to are general guidelines, they are NOT deadlines. Some children reach them sooner, some later. My youngest nephew would only point when he wanted something, not even trying to say the words. He was almost three before he started talking...and hasn't stopped yet.;) ENJOY your baby.

As a mom of an Autistic child, I understand your worry. I do not, however, think you have anything to worry about. Sometimes with a 2nd or 3rd child, everyone anticipates needs so much that a child does not really need to point to get what they desire. Sounds like your baby has reached so many other milestones that you don't need to worry. You may still want to mention it to pediatrician if it bothers you, but try see if how much anticipating is going on too. Good luck. I am sure you are doing a great job.

use coaching words.... when he asks you for something and you cant figure it out... tell him show momma what you want and believe it or not in a few days he will be showing you everything. every child develops different. my girls would point to everything but my little guy never really did. He will be 2 in January and believe me now he's right up to where he should be.

I pretty much agree with everyone's response below. But I see a problem with your anxiety over your child's development. I don't want to call you obsessive (I don't even know you nor you know me), but with your writing, you might want to relax a bit or you could pass that anxiety along to your children. I.e. they are not living up to your expectations, etc. Please be careful with worrying about developmental milestones - like a checklist. I see that you have listed almost everything, like the paper they hand out at a pediatrician's office. I'm not saying to stop caring (you're a mom, duh! lol)... just don't fret over every single item and checking off the list.

Good luck!
PS. I hope this is positive feedback -> to relax :)

Hi L.,

From a mom of four and grandma of five here you go; if your son is meeting MOST of his milestones on time don't worry. ALL children are a bit quirkey in one way or another at some time in their life. Milestones are a general guideline, not commandments :). I have one child that didn't point until late elementary school, not because she didn't know how, just didn't want to! Relax, enjoy your son for who he is. If you want to strengthen his "ability" to point or move his fingers independently, get some crayola washable finger paints, teach him how to dip one finger in and draw on the paper. Don't freak when he only does it for a few seconds or minutes before he opts for his whole hand, it's normal.

It's probably nothing to worry about, he may just not be interested in pointing at anything. Point at things when you talk about them, and maybe he'll pick it up after awhile. Another milestone that I read was sticking out the tongue, and if they don't do it, they may be tongue tied. My second son never stuck out his tongue, no matter how much we played and tried to get him to. So we worried for a long time that he was tongue tied. But we decided to stop worrying about it. We figured time would tell. It did. By the time he was 3, he was finally sticking out his tongue, and he isn't tongue tied. It sounds silly in retrospect, but I understand what you are feeling, how unnerving it can be when your child doesn't do everything that others say they should. My second son also didn't walk until 15 months. I have come to the conclusion that there is actually more variance in when kids do things then they say. There is an average, but with my four, it's been obvious to see that they fall all around it. If there are developmental problems, I'm sure they will be more clear later. One milestone isn't necessarily anything.

My son is perfectly normal and did not point till he was close to 18 months old. Those milestones are just guidelines for parents - every child develops differently. We realized that my husband and I don't every point, so he had no one to learn it from. He developed other ways to make his needs known. If your child is acting normal as it sounds like he is, don't worry about a minor milestone like pointing. If you can just forget all about it, you will probably notice someday down the road he is suddenly doing it all by himself.

I am pretty sure my daughter did not point at 12 months. I was concerned too, but she did everything else. And now she just turned 2 and she can count to ten. Although seven sounds like daddy sometimes it is definitely counting. Don't overstress about the little stuff. Even if he has the inability to point (lol) is it going to change your bond with your son? Relax and enjoy what he can do!

I have the same concern about my daughter she is a year and doesn't point. Would appr feedback from other moms. Thanks

I agree with the person below me. He sounds good and healthy, he should catch on, try showing him sometime though, maybe he will "copy" you. And like the person below me said, if you are still worried, talk to his doctor, but I think he will get it, and sounds like a good and happy on-track baby.