Baby Has Gone from Perfect Sleeper to Nap and Nighttime Fighter

Hello, Kristin! I'm sorry you're struggling with this--sleep issues can be so frustrating for everyone!

First I would look at the possible physical causes--an undiagnosed sinus or ear infection would cause pain lying down and could make a child reluctant to go to bed as you describe. Neither of these conditions always has other manifestations to clue you in that something is wrong--my neighbor's daughter had double ear infections and the only clue they had was mild irritability!

If the problem is more of a separation anxiety issue then it too can be managed. My oldest would always sleep by herself if nothing was wrong, but my middle child had horrible bouts of sepparation anxiety. We learned the hard way that if he was left crying in his crib for *any* amount of time the anxiety about bed would sky-rocket. With him (and he's almost 3) it's still the case that we will occasionally go through periods of time when one of us needs to sit in the room with him while he falls asleep. The first few nights we might need to stay there until he's asleep but gradually we can decrease the amount of time we spend--tell him that we'll be back to check on him soon etc until he's once again comfortable just going to bed by himself.

This is a lot more work, obviously, but for a kid with separation anxiety it's crucial that they feel secure and cared-for in bed if you want them to go there willingly. Once our son is comfortable again after a period of anxiety he'll even ask for naptime! But it takes work to get there which can be even trickier if you have other kids.

For now be patient with her. If there's nothing physically wrong try keeping her company for a few days. I wouldn't talk or take her out of bed, just sit next to her quietly. Rub her back for a few minutes or rock her first--whatever helps to soothe her--and then just be there where she can see you. I used to bring in a book and booklight to read while he fell asleep.

Good luck! I know it seems like a step back but it really won't last forever!

She may be having sinus inflammation. This would be worse when laying down and not really noticeable during her waking hours. Babies can get used to more attention when they are sick and like it. Give her some time and things will get back to normal. Try putting some Vicks Vaporub on her and that might help. I put it on the pj's and not on the skin directly.
Just some quick thoughts.

So many things going on with her. Any habit takes at least a week to form if not longer. Someone suggested the sinuses thing and with her having had a cold and/or alergies I recomend to many to tap on your sinus area above and below your eyes and on your temples. Now I suggested to someone to "bang on their bones" meaning their facial bones but I don't mean to take out a hammer and bang your head or your daughters for that matter. What I am suggesting is to tap like you would drum your fingers on the table. Do it to yourself and find out what happens and then you can better help her if she is congested. Sometimes the kids when I did it to them got so interested in the feeling and what I was doing they would stop fussing anyway! The separation anxiety will get better as she finds you are not the center of THE world just her world. If it's only at bedtime you are lucky! My brother didn't nap but only once a day from the time he was 3 months old. After 10 months he didn't nap at all despite the driving around my mother did in her car. He would just wake up when the car stopped. I think he had colic.

Hi K.,
I am a mother of 6, soon to be 7, and we have had our share of sleep issues. There is an awesome book, which my pediatricin recommended, that saved my sanity: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I found that after the kids were sick, or after vacations when they were off normal schedules, we often had to refer back to the book and retrain them to sleep properly. Some of the ideas are not what I would have thought to do, but they worked. Crying it out was part of it, but scheduling had a lot to do with it, too. I would highly recommend this book -- I've used it so much. good luck.