Baby Discovering Body Parts

I have a 4 yr old boy and a 2 yr old daughter and so we have discussions about penises and vaginas a lot. I give them the correct names and try to treat it as 'everyday' words so that they won't feel that it is something to be ashamed or embarressed about. We talk about who has penises and who has vaginas. If you start this kind of talk right away and give them correct terminology they will feel more comfortable talking with you about their questions and not try to "shock" people in public by using the words. Howevever, I know it may at first be hard and embarissing to talk about these matters, I think by starting young it will be easier to discuss puberty, sex and birth control when they are teenagers! Good Luck!

My son will be 3 in November, and he started showing some interest in his "wee wee" some time ago as well. It just came out of the blue, and I believe its very normal for little ones to be curious about their bodies. I didn't think to give him a toy to distract him (great idea, by the way) but I did explain to him that it isn't polite to play with his "wee wee". I can't remember exactly how I said it, but I was trying to be careful to not make his "wee wee" out to be a dirty or bad thing (I don't believe a child should ever be embarassed by their body or think of it as bad) while letting him know that it's not good to play with it or talk about it in public or to/around strangers. As for playing with it in private, I didn't even approach that thought -- I'm so not ready to go there! I can almost guarantee that at one point or another, your son will probably touch it or talk about it in public and embarass you, especially if it gets a rise out of you. I've tried to not make a big deal about it and be very matter-of-fact, and that has helped. I have to admit that it's kind of funny that such a little boy (mine) can find humor in typical boy things, like "wee wee" or passing gas, without any exposure to that type of humor before or any encouragement. I think they're just born with it! In other words, yes it's very normal.

I don't blame you, but this is such a typical example of how puritanical our culture is. Your embarassment is because you (and many others) have been taught to be ashamed of our ability as a species to procreate, and of natural amazing functions our bodies do, such as eliminate the waste products of our energy source, food & water.

Our shame teaches our children shame, and is what leads to all sorts of medical and psychological problems because grown-ups grew up without being able to talk about what might be going on "down there", not to mention the repercussions of repressed sexual desires, instilled by the puritanical/ultra-religious parent.

And what others have been saying applies to all situations - the more YOU make it a big deal, the more they do it for a reaction (use swear words, do things that are inconvenient for adults (like dump sand all over the floor), etc).

My partner's friends' mom taught her child that f**k & s**t are normal words, while telling him not to say the word "mayonnaise". Yup, he ran around the house yelling "MAYONNAISE!" (note for those of you who may catch the hypocrisy, I only put the asterisks in because I'm not sure of the policy of this forum, & it's not worth getting kicked off of. but i have no problem typing or using ANY word as necessary. cf George Carlin. =))

good luck!

I would suggest teaching him the correct anatomical term for it. By telling him it's his 'wee wee' you are attaching some stigma to it, and the fact that you're embarrassed is something he's going to pick up on, and in the end, you don't want your child to be embarrassed by his body. As he gets older and acquires more language skills you can certainly teach him when it is and is not appropriate to touch his private parts.

We taught my daughter to say 'vagina' from the beginning and now she uses that word just as readily as 'elbow' or 'ankle' - it's normal to her, and the fact that we aren't embarrassed by her saying it is showing her that it's just another part of her body.

Every baby/toddler goes through this phase but we have always used proper anatomical terms - I think that it's pretty important. Yes they probably say something at an inappropriate time a couple of times, but if you don't make a big fuss then it is not a fixation for long. It's worse to give kids a complex about their bodies when this is just a natural, short-lived phase that every kid goes through.

Yes, its totally normal. Also try to use correct terms for body parts. Yes, its extremely embarrassing and kind of funny to hear your small child holler 'PENIS!' across the store (I know, I have two boys) but its also to get a reaction. But I would encourage you to use proper body part names even at this age.

That is entirely normal. I wouldn't worry about it at all or make too big a deal out of it. Its his body and he's exploring it. Of course that area is all the more interesting because its normally covered by a diaper. My son (20 months) often reaches down during diaper changes now. I just ignore it and then wash his hands when we're finished. Don't waste any energy being embarrassed - I can't imagine too many people being horrified by this behavior.

Best,
B.

AW,
Do not be embarrassed. It is toatally normal. every kid is different and some are more curious. Kids touching themselves is a way of exploring and not sexual that is how they understand things. don't worry about things said in public, or do not make it a big deal, grabbing it is normal, especially at this age. It is nothing to worry about honestly, they are just are trying to figure stuff out. I have to say you husband is right. As adults I think we are more sensetive,but he is just trying to figure his surrondings out.
Good Luck!
C.