Baby Bully in the Making?

Updated on August 18, 2007
S.S. asks from Rochester, NY
5 answers

Hi! My son is 17-months-old and is not in daycare. My husband works an overnight shift at work so he can stay with our son during the day until I get home from work. Our son has always been VERY social. When we go out in public he's very nosy and watches people and engages EVERYONE he meets with a smile or a "conversation". He is not shy about going up to complete strangers and just giving them hugs. My concern is that he might be TOO outgoing. I see other kids his age and they all seem to be more shy and reserved - my son certainly isn't shy or scared of anything and doesn't seem to understand the "personal space" issue that we adults understand. He will go right up to a child (regardless of their age) and get right up in their face -he acts a little nervous like he's testing them to see if they'd be open to a hug, which he ultimately gives them, but my husband thinks he's being aggressive. Like an alpha dog showing other dogs who's in charge. When we go ANYWHERE it's a huge task keeping him out of other people's business and keeping him reigned in and to stay with US. I think he's bored just seeing our faces all day and it might be a socialization issue but there are plenty of other people and children in his life that he sees quite regularly - maybe it's not enough, though? Should I be concerned? Any suggestions? Thank you!

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M.M.

answers from Buffalo on

He just sounds like a very social child. My son who is now 3 is and always was very social and never shy. He would walk off with anyone which can be scary. He usually saw his cousin who is the same age once a week but it wasn't enough. Your son probably wants to get out of the house and do things. MyY son always wants to go. I would look into some mommy and me or in this case daddy and me programs. Both your husband and son would benefit and get him in a more social environment. He needs to learn how to socialize with other children on a regular basis. Then he will probably figure out how to act by watching other kids his age. I highly recommend the music and me program at buffalo community music school. My kids absolutely love it. It is great for their development and get them out of the house and around other toddlers.

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J.D.

answers from Burlington on

Hi S.,
My son has been the same way since he could say Hi. He is 3 now and is still trying to have a conversation with everyone he sees and meets. Everyone jokes and calls him our own wal-mart greeter. He doesn't give hugs out anymore, which is a great thing. He got over the hugs around the age of 2, but he is still very interested in other people. We just keep telling him not to say hi to someone unless he knows them and their names. If he doesnt know their names we tell him not to say hi. He is still not understanding what a stranger is, but he is still only 3. Some kids are born with fear of strangers hardwired in, I think others just look for the best in everyone.
I hope this helped a little. We are still going through it ourselves. Good luck to you.
-J.

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J.T.

answers from Albany on

Both my bosy were like this. I wouldn't worry. He's only 17 months and exploring social interactions is how he will learn social cues and boundaries.

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L.W.

answers from Scranton on

My son is the same way. I am a stay at home mom and he is with me all day. So, it is normal for him to want to see and talk to other people especially kids. I think the personal space thing is a concept that he will learn when he is older. The only thing I worry about with my son is the fact that he goes up to strangers like they are family but that can be taught that is is bad. right now, your son is still in the mindset that he is the only person in the world who matters and he will,soon, learn that other people have feelings too and some people may not be welcoming hugs at the moment. It just comes with age.

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R.M.

answers from Hartford on

If you think he isn't seeing the other kids enough try joining a playgroup in your area that your husband can take him to. I know they have a few free ones in our town. That may be the socialization skills he needs.

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