Babies Last Name

I have 3 children by the same man and we arnt married and the all have his name and e have been together for 5 years. i honistly would give the baby his last name.

My daughter took my fiance's last name. I hasn't caused any confusion for us. She's 2 now and we aren't getting married until August.

Congratulations!
I have a couple friends who choose both names-which has been great for them...It is not uncommon for a child to have 2 names. But the last name does not really matter-you both should talk it over and see what will work for both of you.

I have a child that has a different last name as I do. The insurance would have the child listed as the last name that is given to them, I have never had a problem with that. As far as how people will know if the child is yours, I have never had a problem with this, all they do is ask you if you are the mother. The situation is pretty common.

ME AND MY BOYFRIEND HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 7 YEARS AND OUR DAUGHTER HAS HIS LAST NAME AND WE DIDNT PLAN ON GETTING MARRIED EITHER. AS FAR AS INSURANCE GOES I HAVE HAD NO PROBLEM WITH HER HAVING HIS LAST NAME.

When my son was born, my husband and I werent married. Sometimes I did feel bad that my last name was different than theirs, but if that doesnt bother you, you will be okay with health insurance and stuff. I think it is getting to be more and more common that a baby's last name might be different than one of his/her parents. You'd be surprised at how few people are surprised. And with insurance, in my case, my card just had my name and my son's name on it.
Also, you could give your child your last name as a middle name. I have heard of this being done, and think it is a nice idea- if it works for you.

When my daughter was born, I was not with her father so I gave her my last name. Which I will NEVER regret. However when she was 5 he asked the court to hypen her last name and add his. Because he had married and he wanted her to share the same name has his other daughter and step-daughter. My daughter is now 9 and refused to hypen her last name. She only uses my maiden name.

At one time, my daughter, my son and I all had different last names. Believe me I had NO problems with insurance, daycare, school or anything like that. What I hate now is that since I got married my daughter has a different last name than me,my husband and my son.

I do still have my maiden name as a second middle name.

I has become the norm now a days that children have different last names than one of the parents.

You can always hypen her last name and if you marry her father, hypen yours as well. Otherwise give her your lastname, and have it legally changed when/if you get married.

I guess I don't understand why some people say it is the best thing to give the fathers name to the child. It is whatever way you feel most comfortable!!!

Hi K.! First off, congratulations! I grew up with a hyphenated last name, and it was really just a problem for my teachers and myself growing up. However, both last names were incredibly ethnic (German and Mexican) and little hard to pronounce. Maybe if they had been more common names, it would have been easier? I kind of wished I'd just had my dad's last name. My parents weren't married either. Plus, if you DO end up getting married, and taking his last name, it would be a lot easier for your little one to already have his name- otherwise you'll have to go through a lengthy court process, where he will have to "adopt" your baby to get the name changed.
Good luck with whatever you decide- go with your instinct!

Just always remember nothing is a definate...having said that my daughter's dad and i were together for 6 years and my daughter carries his last name... to me it was a BIG mistake. Her dad and i broke up 1 1/2 years after she was born (she'll be 3 this march). Now he doesn't see her because he's "too busy" & we have both moved on. He's with someone else who doesn't "prefer" to have little kids around and I've started my family with someone else as well. My fiance takes care of my daughter as if she were his own. And now my son, fiance and I are all going to have the same last name (mine hyphinated with my maiden) and my daughter is not going to share any part of my name. I wish I would've left her name as my maiden name and then when/if her dad and i did get married we could've done a legal name change (or in WI you are allowed to change a baby's name up until a year old without going to court). I just feel i'm going to have to explain alot to my daughter as to why her name is different and why her dad isn't there, etc...

Hi K., Congrats on your first born coming! How exciting!! I was married to my children's father and they got his last name. We've been seperated for years and my kids wish they had my name, too. I'd go with both names so your baby will eventually feel that name tie to both parents - especially if you stay unmarried. Best of luck!

I was not married when I had my daughter but we were engaged and had dated for a few years before the birth of my daughter. Becuase I had intended to marry my fiance I gave my daughter her father's last name. I had no idea we weren't going to work out we had been together for so many years it was a real shock. Now my daughter is stuck with a horrilbe last name that noone can correctly pronounce, my daughter dislikes her last name and it bother's her all the time that were differnt in that area. I get embarrassed or annoyed when filling out school papers or doctors appts and they assume her last name is mine or I have to mention YES I am the mother. My health insurance card says one name and her's says another name. I totally regret not giving my daughter my last name. And were stuck with it like this because her father will not give me permission to change it. I told my daughter when she's 18 I'll pay the money and let her change it. So my advise is to to have your child use your last name or hyphenite (sorry spelling).

My suggestion is that you give the baby your boyfriend's last name, especially if you have been together for 15 years. You two are practically married anyways. I wasn't married to my husband when our daughter was born and we were only dating 1 month before I got pregnant and I still gave her his last name. Insurance will still work the same with 2 last names or not. The insurance will add your child onto it and it will just have a different last name on it. Just because the baby doesn't have your last name doesn't mean people won't know it's yours. I didn't feel strange about it; we didn't even get married until our daughter was about 7 months old. Now and days it's such a common situation no one thinks differently about it.

If you have any other questions feel free to ask.

The last name is not that serious of an issue as far as legal rights health insurance ect. I went to high school with a girl whose parents gave each child their own last name so everyone in the family had a different last name. Depending on the state you live in parental rights are a bigger issue. In most states unless you are married during pregnancy or when the baby is born your boyfriend will have very few rights to the baby. In some states like MN your parents would have more rights then the baby's father if you died. As far as insurance goes a ROP or recognition of parentage a form you fill out at the hospital should do the trick. Like I said it depends on the state. I have a good friend who does not believe in marriage so when their son was born they met with a lawyer and had a lot of paper work done to insure the father's rights and responsibilities. If you or the baby have to go on any assistance program the county will most likely go after your boyfriend's wages even if you live together. It is crazy but currently that is the way it works. A lot of people do not mess with any of this stuff though a lot of people don't have life insurance either. I would talk to your boyfriends insurance company see what they need to be able to add the baby and call a lawyer to see how your state views the parental rights of unwed fathers.

K.- My boyfriend and I were in the same situation when we had our son. Our son took his last name, figured thats easier than us getting married and having to change his name. I haven't encountered any problems with him having his dads last name, and everyone will still know its your baby. No problems with health insurance either. Not sure what your wondering about health insurance but w/b if i can be of any help. Feel like this is a pretty common situation these days.
J.

I think it is nice to give them both last names. My husband and I took eachothers last name so we both have a double last name and so does our daughter. The kids can decide later in life if they want soemthing eles bbut i think it's nice to have a connection to both sides of the family through the name. Just my feelings about the thing i know it's maybe not the most traditional thing we've done.

Leagally you can name the baby anything you want. It can be a last name you pick out of the phone book...it does not matter. As for insurance if you can prove with a birth certificate that this baby is your then you can insure this baby with your health insurance or the fathers.Names don't mean a thing anymore it is about proving the legal relationship.

I guess I would have to agree with some of the other mothers and give your baby your last name for the time being. When/if you do marry, you may be inclined to change your last name and change baby's, too.
We have many more choices today than ever. I waited more than a year after I married before I took my husband's name (more for convenience and to avoid confusion). But I had no intention of giving up my identity and retained my maiden name and I now use it as my middle name. I don't hyphenate.
As a moderate feminist I cringe at the thought of how the practice of taking a man's sur name came into being. I didn't want to perpetuate such an antiquated practice of identifying ownership. That being said, your baby has just as much a right to your name as to his father's!!
Okay - I'm stepping down from my soap box. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you - that's all that matters.
Best wishes.

I was also in your situation and my boys both have their fathers name. I am remarried and have a different last name as my boys now. My sons are 14 and 10 and I have never had an issue with our last names. Ever. Your birth cirtificate is all you need. It has your name as it is now, your babies name as it will always be, and the fathers name. You choose what you want. I know a lot of unmarried couples that have hyphenated the last names and that works up until they start school and have to start spelling them. Then they choose one last name to use. I do sometimes regret giving my boys their fathers last names, but only due to the lack of relationship they have with their father now. Do what your heart tells you. What you feel is best. Good luck with your beautiful baby and future.

Hi K. - Congrats on your first baby . . .it's an amazing experience. If you do plan on getting married - I would give the baby the Father's name. Otherwise, you would have to legally have the baby's name changed once you do marry. otherwise, if you do not plan on marrying or being with the father - I would go with both names. I would talk to the Father and ask him what "DADDY" wants to do?

K.,
I went through the same thing with my first two children. I never married their father and when my first child was born, I have her his last name. Then when her brother was born, their father and I had just seperated (and stayed that way) but I also gave him his father's last name. It is actually way more common then you think for children to have a different last name then their parents. Actually, you can give your children any name that you want, even if it was to combine the two last names. When I call the school now, I just say this is J. ..., Alicia and Austin .... 's mom. No questions ask, nor with their insurance. It is a big decision. As I look back, I kinda wish I would;ve given them both my maiden name and then probably would've changed it when I got married to my married name. They have a brother who is from my husband and then we would've all been the same, and I should've known that my relationship with their father was ending, but they are very comfortable with having their father's last name. There are times they have said we should have the same last name, but they understand that they are part of their dad too. It sounds like you and your boyfriend have been together for a long time and you need to just take in you feelings and decide what do you want? What do you feel most comfortable with? If you want them to have the same last name as their father, do that then. It really won't cause as much of a problem, in my experience as you think. I actually just signed up my son and niece for a class with me, and of course my son and I have the same last name, but my niece a different one, and on our first day of class they didn't realize the my niece was not my child. I explained that i thought when I emphasized she had a different last name that they would know that. They said it is so common that children have a different last name then one of their parents, they just assumed that she was mine too. I hope that helps!

My boyfriend and I had our first child almost 3 years ago now, and our son has his last name. We are not married yet but may be someday. For some reason I guess it's "normal" for the child to get the fathers. But really I think its up to you! CONGRATS on your new addition!

I had my daughter 10 years ago and me and her dad were not together. My parents are also divorced so I do have some insight to this subject. When my daughter was born I was also not sure what to do with her last name, we gave her both. This makes her name very long, most of the time she just puts the first last name then the first letter of the second. I now wish that I would have just gave her the dads last name. I now am married to another man. We now have a different last name than her all together. This is a little odd now because she has my madein name and her dads last name but lives with my married name and is on that insurance. We do not have any confusion for insurance or school. The know I am her mom and have never question this. I this day and age so many people have this accure that many people don't even think twice about it at Dr offices or schools. I had a different name than my mother growing up. It never bothered me because my last name was still a conection to my dad. Now either way if you guys end up getting married then you will then have his last name if you choose. so then all of you would have that last name. now if you don't marry him and end up getting married to another man she then would have your madien name and his last name or whatever and you would most likely not have your new husbands name. sooooo i would say from my experiance to give the child the fathers last name.

Hi K.! When my daughter was born, her father and I weren't married either (planned on it but it never happened). I gave her his last name. I have never had any problems. And health insurance isn't a problem either. As long as you have the birth certificate, it's all good. Especially if you planned on getting married some day, you eventually will have the same last name.

Good luck!!

Hi K.-
I was faced with a similar problem when I was pregnant as well. My boyfriend and I had been together for a little over six years at that point, but we werent and still arent interested in getting married. We thought long and hard about giving our daughter both of our last names. In the end we decided to give her just his last name, which I am comfortable with. So far we havent run into any problems or awkward situations and our insurance handled it just fine. Occasionally there will be a receptionist or nurse at my daugher's pediatrician office that will refer to me by my daugher's last name (as in mrs. [daugher's last name]) but that has been the extent of my problems ... very minor :)

K.:

It is completely up to you what you want to do. As for the insurance, will the baby be under his insurance or yours. Are the last names long or are they fairly short, that it won't be that hard for your little one to write out? As for the insurance issue you may want to contact the insurance company and find out how they handle that, as each insurance company doesn't handle things the same.

T.

My oldest son has his father's last name. We planned to get married after he was born, but I ended up leaving. I am still glad he has his dad's name - he will be the only grandchild on that side so he will be carrying on the family name, plus although things between us didn't work out, his dad is a great man and a great father, and I know my son likes having his name (I have primary custody of him). Having different last names in a family is very common these days and it's never been an issue with anything we've done (including my cashing checks in his name), actually the only time it was was when his friends call me by the wrong last name (Mrs. G rather than Mrs. P). Hyphenating is also a good solution. Good luck with whatever you decide!

You can pretty much do anything these days - I teach kindergarten and I have a girl in my class whose parents are married but didn't change their last names and she has her dad's last name, another girl's parents aren't married and she has both last names, a boy whose parents are married has both last names and another boy just has his mom's last name - his parents aren't together. It will make no difference w/ insurance....it is completely your choice! If I were engaged or planning to marry the father, I would give the child his name otherwise I'd probably use my last name.

My aunt never married her kids father, and gave both kids his last name. She had a lot of problems with schools when she was dealing with absenses and stuff. They finally got it all worked out and the school got used to it... and then she got married... and didn't change her name just to avoiding going through all of that again (her oldest was 12 by that time... thats how long it took the schools to accept that the mother had a different name). I was going to marry my sons dad before his birth.. but he got violent and we broke up, so he has my name. I told him that if we were still together I would give him his, but if I am going to be taking care of him alone, he would have mine. So he has mine, and it has made things a lot easier. It sounds like you guys will stay together, so I would give him his fathers so there is no confusion if you get married someday. I don't like hyphenated names... i think they are too long and get confusing too. A lot of people have different last names than their kids now, so I don't think people will question if it is yours, and your health insurance won't have a problem. If anything, they would need a copy of the birth certificate which would show both parents for proof. That is becoming so common now that I have a lot of people ask his last name, everyone assumes it is different from mine.

Although I have a different situation than yours (the father of my child and I do not have a relationship) I caved in to the fathers idea of giving my son his last name, and I really really regret it. For health insurance and legal purposes it really doesn`t matter. You will be on the birth certificate as the mother so you should not have any problems with any administrative things. I even got my son`s passport and we have different last names. It is more of a HUGE daily hassle: doctor`s offices and daycare centers assume your last name and the baby`s are the same, paper work all has to be done twice, ect. It is also hard emotionally to not have the same last name as your child (at least it is for me). So I would just consider this and make the descision based on what YOU truly want otherwise you will regret it.

Oh cmon now K., If you have been with your boyfriend for 15 years, EVERYBODY knows that this baby is yours. Giving this child the fathers last name will not keep anybody from knowing that this child is yours. If you give this child your last name then who would know it is the fathers child?? Same scenario if you think about it. So the child deserves to have the fathers last name. If you were not with any guy then you would be ok to give this child your last name. Father gets the last name.!!!

I would deffinatly go with a hyphenated last name. That way he can drop one name if that's what you choose. I gave my first daughter her fathers last name, and now I wish I never had to see him again. She has his last name, and my husband, I and my new daughter have a diferent last name. Had I at least given her my maiden name, she would have my families name. Anyway, if you hyphenate, I think you can use one name or the other.

My sister in law was in your shoes. She gave her son her last name, not the father's. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I struggled with the same issue. Make the baby's last name his:
1) if you do end up married then name changing baby will be that much easier 2) if he decides to skip out (sounds like he is loyal but stuff happens) then in court he shows responsibility having had the baby's name his last. Besides this, to show "ownership" and other myriad of reasons, give the child his last name. People will know the baby is yours, believe me.

I had the same problem. I named my son with my fiance's name..I wouldnt use both last names...If you dont plan on getting married have the baby have your last name..

I myself have a child from a boyfriend at the time we are no longer together but my son does have his father's last name. Insurance works the same as it would if the baby has your last name. All the really ask for is the social security number and date of birth. I have had 3 differant employers since I've had my son who will be 7 years old in May. And I have not had any problems with Insurance. Same with school, there are a lot of children out there that have there father's last name and not there mothers which ever last name you choose for your baby it'll all work out fine. Hope that helps a little.
Nickie