Babes and Pillows

My son doesn't have a pillow yet (he's almost 16 months) but he's been sleeping with various stuffed animals since he was about 11 months old or so. I waited until he had good enough head and neck control, as well as all over body control, that he'd be able to untangle himself and/or signal distress and there's not a set age for that. I've limited the number and size of stuffed animals he gets in there, though, so that he can't use them to climb out.

Hi S., we've used a little pillow for our son from about 11 months. We originally used it because he had a bad cold so it helped to elevate him a little. I found that if we put the pillow under the matress to prop it up, he just rolled into a corner or was upside down by the morning if you know what I mean. Now he's 14 months and I think he really likes it so we haven't taken it out.

I have a feeling that the "recommended age" is around 18 or 24 months. We also have used a bumper from 6 months on so I must be a rebel. :)

You know your child well enough to know if you feel there is a danger or not - as well as consulting with your pediatrician. My little guy was around 10 months when we put a pillow in his crib. He mostly co-slept with me and my husband and slept without incident on our pillows (gladly moving anything out of his way, including us, to make himself more comfortable), so it seemed natural to me - he is also very big and strong for his age. It was the only thing that would get him to sleep in his own crib. But that was just our experience, obviously you are the best judge of your child.

i would do it. If he seems to slep etter make him more comfortable he is big enough not to sufficate himself. Keep a monitor on him if your worried.

S. - you could always slightly prop up the mattress from underneath with a blanket if you want your baby's head to be elevated. This would be safer than a pillow. Babies move around so much at night, do you think he would consistently "use" it anyway? I have a 1 1/2 year old and this worked for us - when he turned one, we got a baby "sleeping bag" from babyinabag.com - the moment we put him in that, he slept through the night - it is warm and snuggly and he loves it. I would try that if you are concerned about putting stuff in his crib. Good luck - sleep is like gold, so I understand!

I suggest asking your pediatrician if the baby is OK to sleep with a pillow. For the life of me, I can't remember when we gave our first child (who's now 3) a pillow... As for sleeping through the night, I think it's definitely a possiblity before 15-18 months. Don't let others discourage you. And when I say "sleeping through the night", I understand that a child will naturally wake many times through the night but the key is: is he or she able to put him or herself back to sleep? Rather than teaching a child to sleep through the night, you're really teaching them to self-soothe and put themselves back to sleep when they naturally wake during the night. Of course, when kids get sick or experience big changes in their little lives, they tend to wake more during the night and want mommy or daddy. But you can definitely teach them to self-soothe at this point. I used the method from the Baby Whisperer and found good success with it.

Hi S.,
We offered a pillow to my daughter at around 20 months, but she wasn't interested until she was 2 1/2. Now she uses one every night. Both of my girls slept through the night early on (and no I'm not lying Linda C, wow). What kind of mattress do you have? Is it an extra firm? The crib that we had for my second daughter came with an extra firm mattress. She hated it and would only sleep if we put her in her sister's crib (softer mattress). We purchased a kolcraft mattress from Wal-mart for $36 and after that she was fine, sleeping through the night no problem. :) God bless!

They do have smaller pillows (not the cutesy ones with ruffles and stuff) that are meant for toddlers. Your son should be able to roll around and get comfy at his age so adding a pillow would be fine. You have to make sure that the pillow isn't going to aid him in crawling out of the crib (simple as lowering crib matress), is hypo-allergenic and flame resistant (you'd think they all are, read the labels).

As far as having your scent, I used to sleep with an extra baby blanket for my son when he was a newborn. That would be the blank he'd sleep with the following night. Because of spit up and the occasional accident, I slept with a new blanket each night. By blanket I mean one of those large, soft blankets (not thick like a comforter, more like polar fleece thickness), and one that can cover a good part of the bed since a baby will roll around. It acts as a top sheet but under the baby. I ended up with a lot of those comforter style blankets, which you never want to use on a very small baby. I'd take one of these and put it flat between the matress and bottom slats because when our baby moved, he sometimes was woke up by the sound the matress made against the crib. It would squeak.

I S.
I think most pediatricians would say no, but your best bet is to check with yours.
We didn't give our girls (2 and 3 yrs) pillows until they moved into a "big kid" bed. They were just fine in the crib without. If you are concerned with comfort, put a second matress pad under the crib sheet. That will make it softer with being potentially dangerous.

Good luck

Hi S.,

I wonder if you've ever heard of the book 'The Baby Whisperer'. The author, Tracy Hoggs has really good tips on how to help babies sleep through the night. I know of numerous family and friends who have used her method successfully. (I didn't just because I chose to co-sleep with my kids because they had medical conditions that needed attending to in the middle of the night, but they both sleep through the night now.) She also has a website called babywhisperer.com. Hope this helps.
Blessings, I.

my daughter has had a regular standard pillow in her crib since at least 10 months. Partly it has been there to help with colds, but more because she loves our bed so much, I think it is more comfortable. We haven't had any issues. I would use more of a flatter pillow than a big fluffy one so they are able to stay situated better.

Not safe. The problems are rare, but why risk it?

Your pillow won't smell like you much after the first day, anyhow, so it's unlikely that will work.

Lots of moms wrap the baby in a blanket while holding him falling asleep, so when the baby goes down, the blanket that smells of both of them goes with him. It helps some kids avoid the 'sheet allergy' of being put into a cooler, darker room on cold sheets.

That said, it's extremely unusual for babies to sleep through the night until they're well over 2 years of age, so you may be trying to solve what a friend calls 'a reality, not a problem.'

You can't solve reality, you can only deal with it. If it's normal, natural and healthy for kids to wake periodically through the night to make sure they're getting enough food, staying clean and dry, and not spending the night abandoned in the woods where the tigers will get them (1yos only have instincts, not sense), trying to get yours to stop being normal, natural and healthy so you can get a solid 8 hours of sleep is probably going to drive you crazy, while not actually working.

It has been my experience that parents who have children who 'always' sleep through the night from some incredibly young age are lying. Not intentionally...but convincingly. There is some award of honour given to parents who have the 'right' kind of babies, so when the child randomly sleeps through the night twice (because he's eaten enough for the past few days to grow and needs the extra rest to do it, or because he's coming down with something and his immune system is stressed out) the parents cling to the 'we did it, we're wonderful' thing, even in the face of the same child waking up periodically virtually every night after that for the next 2-3 years.

The number of wakings that don't count get really comical: she was teething, he had a late nap, he's coming down with/getting over a cold, he had a busier than normal day, he had a duller than normal day, she had a shot yesterday, she was freaked out by a dog today, she had an uncomfortable poo, there was a loud noise, we were up late, she had an early morning, his nap was longer than usual... but that's all fine because they 'don't count,' because she always otherwise has slept through the night since she was 4 minutes old.

Yeah.

Lots of kids stop waking their parents up in the night, and some parents just stop hearing their kids crying in the night, but kids wake up through the night just the same.

Our old Ped (we moved, or we would still be seeing him) Suggested that we put a thin flat pillow under the sheet.
Honestly I don't think that it will help him sleep longer or better but it may make him more comfy. None of my children slept thru the night before 15 to 18 months and even then they still woke severaly times a week!
Blessings, K.

I am pretty sure my son was 15 months when we first gave him a pillow. I bought one of those little travel pillows, so, it's not overly large and fluffy, but, gives him something to snuggle with. We also transitioned him out of his crib into a bed at that point. We are expecting another baby within the next 4 weeks and wanted to do the bed transition prior to the new baby coming. Also, he hated his crib at that point. Anyhow, he has done fine with it. Sometimes he sleeps off the pillow, but, mostly, he sleeps on it.

Hi S.,

We put a pillow in our daughter's crib around 14 months for the very same reasons, she was stuffy and slept better in our bed propped up. I asked the pediatrician and he said it was probably find since she had good head control. I was nervous about it for awhile but eventually got over it because she's a toddler now and can easily communicate distress. I say go with your gut.