I am almost certain there has to be some women who have dealt with this situtation. So, any advice is needed here.
I'm a divorced mom of two girls. The youngest child is by my current(soon to be ex) B/f. My ex-husband comes to my home to pick up our daughter once a week. My little one(2yrs old) has recently started saying my ex-husband's name in front of my b/f. It is innocent enough. She'll say "sister's daddy came to get sister" or she'll ask where her sister's dad is in front of the b/f. B/F gets extremely annoyed with ME when this happens. The ex-huband is very friendly and does say hello. But that is it. He come to get his child and they leave for awhile. My b/f on the other hand gets an attitude with ME just b/c the ex-husband comes to get his child. Something about this makes no sence to me. Am I to tell our 2yr old not to mention her sister's dad's name becaue DADDY will get angry?!?!..really?. If I am wrong PLEASE give me advice on what to do.
I have to add the B/F has ALWAYS had issues with the ex-husband. And there really is no good reason for it. My divorce was amicable. ex-husband and I ONLY talk when it has to do with our child.
Thanks for reading.
after reading some of the comments I should add one bit of information I left out: me and the b/f do not live together. And my nine year old has never really cared much for the b/f. So, my nine year old does not consider my b/f even remotely anything more than a b/f.
Hence why the boyfriend needs to be an ex-boyfriend. And you need to just stay away from dating and men for a good long while.
Since current BF is about to become ex-BF, I don't think you need to worry about it. You said it makes no sense, but I'll bet that one of the reasons he is about to become your ex-BF is because he tries to control your life and is jealous of you in a lot of ways.
Do NOT tell your two year old not to mention her sister's daddy. Putting children in the middle of adult's problems is wrong. Plus, it gives the 2 year old the idea that sister's dad is not a good person, and that's not fair to either her OR your ex-husband.
Dawn
Men HATE the idea that we've been with someone else. Even though clearly you have (you were married and have a child) he probably still wishes you haven't. It probably reminds him of that FACT.
Anyway... you said "soon-to-be" Ex... I would make it sooner than later. He sounds immature and the fact that he demonstrates that kind of attitude toward the little one is not a good sign (in my opinion.)
Good luck.
Make him an ex bf, not a "soon-to-be-ex bf." Problem solved.
He should be an ex boyfriend. The guy is jealous and insecure.
Not worth 5 seconds of your time.
This is coming from a person whose "parent" choose her second husband over her kids at least her first two kids that is from her first marriage. You need to stand up for your child. If she wants to mention her sister's father that is her right. Don't force her not to just to save your soon to be ex's feelings. He has no right to be upset if she is referring to her sister's father. Now if she were to start calling him dad there can be an issue with that. But she is just a child talking about what goes on around her. Telling her she can't talk about him is only going to confuse her.
You need to tell your soon to be ex to stop acting like a child. She means no harms and he as an adult should know that.
are you sure its because she is saying his name or is because she is refering to him as sisters "daddy".
If ex only comes once a week maybe its because BF feels more like her daddy and gets hurt because he is "reminded" or more like salt in a wound because he is there for her 6 days a week and feels more like her real daddy..
If that is not the case then I think he needs to figure it out and be adult enough to handle it with out getting an attitude with it. My suggestion is when the girls aren't around sit down with him and ask him what is up with the attitude and hopefully he will tell you.
hes insecure and will never change. you little one is ok with what is going on and is curious about it so she talks about it. tell him to pull his big boy pants up and get over it.
I'd let him be mad and just ignore him. Once he realizes it has no affect on you it may stop.if not, an ultimatum for him may be necessary.
I also agree with Rebecca's answer. I didn't even think of that, but it does make a lot of sense.
Your b/f sounds like he needs to grow up and put his big boy panties on because there is nothing wrong with what your 2yr old is saying!!
S.
If your boyfriend is trying to influence you through his anger and get you to censor a 2 year old, he's got a problem. He sounds jealous of your ex. Maybe he feels your ex is viewed as a good father (which is sounds like he is) and somehow that's a reflection on him. He needs to step up and realize the your 2 year old isn't making this man her daddy, she's just commenting on what she sees. It's no different that her saying "there's the mailman" or "it's raining" so the problem is in your boyfriend's attitude.
You need to talk to your BF about this. Basically lay it out for him: You daughter is not going away. She has a dad. You have an ex. He needs to get over it and not be making others feel uncomfortable for bringing up his name.
If he wants the "dad" position in the house, he can start by putting a ring on your finger and setting a date. But that still doesn't remove your ex from the picture.
Just talk to your BF. Tell him your concerns.
Tell your bf to knock it off. He is acting like a child. And no I would not tell your little one not to say something. She will say it anyway.
if hes your soon to be ex bf why does it matter?
he seems childish. my daghter mentions her dad to my boyfriend all of the time and she mentions my boyfriend to her dad all of the time. they are two important people in her life. follow your daughters instinct and leave him!
He sounds completely immature. It will only become worse and more irritating as time goes on, unless he wants to change his childish behavior.
He can feel any way he wants, how he behaves let you know if he is an actual adult.
