Autisum???REALLY SCARED!

You know those shows can frighten anyone who is a parent. I know that it seems that she could fit into one of those categories. But the big thing is that not even most kids fit into the categories that are expected of them. They all grow at different levels. My son is advanced with troubleshooting. But his speech is needing to improve. I know that it was because I was speaking to him in whole phrases instead of single words. I don't know where you live, but what eased my pain wasn't the doctor. It was EDIS. They came to my home and evaluated my son and told me he is perfectly normal. I don't understand him because instead of trying to work on one word he is trying to get a whole phrase out. Think of when you are talking to a person with a very strong accent, isn't it easier when the state what they are trying to say very tersely? Well, my suggestion is if you are really worried get a developmental specialist to evaluate you daughter. Then you will know exactly one way or another.

I am a mom of an Autistic boy and he is 14. I didnt know what to look for when Jared was that age. the good thing is you are catching it early. If you can, please have your physician refer you to vanderbilt child development they are wonderful. just learn all you can about it. 67 children a day are diagnosed with Autism and 80 percent are boys. Autism is alot to deal with but they are smart children and they just learn differently. I pray that i was a big help. you can call if you need to talk 615/593-8965.
God Bless

N.,

It is true that there are very many autism spectrum disorders, and many are not at all severe. Some people go through life undiagnosed. However, if this is true for your daughter there are some things to keep in mind:
1. It would be a blessing to have an early diagnosis. To be able to eliminate some of the frustration in her life by learning ways to help her and eliminate some frustration for you, just knowing she is not being willful or spoiled, but that she actually perceives things/experiences things differently.
2. Autism is NOT caused by anything you did or did not do.
3. Autism is NOT caused by anything you did or did not do.
4. Autism is NOT caused by anything you did or did not do.
Do you get that message?

If you have your daughter evaluated, they will ask you again and again and again about your life habits, your pregnancy with her, her birth experience, etc....
This is NOT to cause you to feel at fault (and if you meet a practitioner who does - find a new one - fast)

Not enough is know about autism spectrum disorders. SO, the more information collected, the bigger the database and the more research can be done - so maybe one day we will know what causes these.

Take a little time to search Google for autism spectrum disorders, or go to the library and do a little research....

I have a family member who has full-blown, very severe autism. He does not like to be touched, and self-soothes by wiggling his fingers in front of his face (kind of like self-hypnosis)...

I also have a good friend whose daughter has aspergers syndrome, and most people do not realize that she is any different from all other children (especially now that she is being given special instruction and being taught in ways which make it easier for her to learn)...

This is already a stressful time for you; so don't go overboard trying to diagnose her yourself. Make an appointment with a good evaluator and start taking notes (like a diary). Do behaviors change dependent upon foods, stimulation, frustration, etc.
What seem to be her triggers? When is behavior best/worst? Then you will be prepared to have a good exchange with the evaluator and this will make it easier for a diagnosis to be made.

In the meantime, remember:
Autism is NOT caused by anything you did or did not do.
Autism is NOT caused by anything you did or did not do.
Autism is NOT caused by anything you did or did not do.

L. G

Hi N.,

I think I responded to one of your other emails. You do sound like you are having a tough time. I think youare okay though from what you have said - meaning, I can only comment on what I have heard from you. I think you should not worry if she is very loving to you, emotional with others and seems to get attached to things. My daughter has all, and I mean ALL, the symptoms that your daughter has. I bet Trinity does not have to ask too long for things - as she has a big sister and you to help her out. My daughter points and I get it! My son (twins) does the same thing. They are over 25 months and neither talks alot. I can only tell you how my husband and I react to our daughter - she is very very independent and likes to sit on her own a lot of the time, accomplish things on her own without help, doesn't talk hardly at all (not any complete words except no and up and down and out), used to say a few words but does not as much, and she has some doozy tantrums sometimes. :) I worried like you too - my husband is a psychologist and I have a masters and doctorate in the same area - so we have been exposed to this alot. You are correct in learning there are levels of autism. Your daughter sounds like a little girl, that is what she sounds like. My daughter loves stuffed animals, she has two security blankets because they are silky soft, smiles and giggles when she sees them, and really loves to laugh and smile. The emotional component is what is important here when worrying about autism (I could be wrong with new evidence, but I feel confident about it) from what you have told the listserv. One last thing, autism doesn't mean your daughter will be a bad, difficult, or dissapointment. I have a feeling you will love her just the same. So, when you do start to emotionally freak out about it really ask yourself if you will love her less. In fact, you might love her even more as she will need that extra love. She sounds like she is a smart little girl - so, remember that and know she is a blessing. Autism is not the end of the world if it does happen (and it might to us, you just never know!), she will still be your little girl. ;) I do understand being scared. Hang in there.
S.

I just wanted to give you a little peace of mind. Autism is genetic, not caused by outside stimulation. So, if it is autism, you did nothing to cause it! I will keep you in my prayers. Otherwise, it seems like you got some great advice.

I agree with the other posters so far. First of all, you didn't do anything if she does have autism to cause it. And, I've also noticed (from watching specials on autism) that so many of the symptoms you mentioned (and are part of the red flags) are totally normal behaviors for 2-year-olds.

I worry all the time about my kids ... I'm a little neurotic that way! ;) My hubby says I'm always looking for things, and that both our kids are totally fine. I've been freaked out lately, too, regarding my son (he turned two in Feb.) and autism (mainly after watching a show that discussed some of the symptoms you mentioned in your post).

He also throws temper tantrums, is very independent, etc. Some of these "autism symptoms" freaked me out at first, but then my hubby reminded me that he's two and acts like most other two-year-olds! ;) And, we're in a playgroup ... trust me, those are all normal behaviors for two year olds! They don't call them "The Terrible Twos" for nothing! ;)

So, I'm there with you ... a little worried and freaked out about this possibility, but also trying to remember that I shouldn't stress too much. So much of what's normal for a two year old and what are signs of mild autism are the same!

Good luck with your doctor's appt. Please keep us posted. I'll keep you in my prayers ... please do the same for us. We have a new addition to our family, too. We had a little girl on Dec. 30. Our children go through so much emotionally, cognitively and developmentally ... it's hard to imagine that they wouldn't sometimes throw tantrums (out of frustration) or have issues.

I'll look forward to more news from your way. Again, best wishes!

Hey N., I have to agree with the others...you didn't nothing wrong at all and I know that for a fact because my 4 year old grandson is Autistic!!! SO PLEASE JUST TAKE A DEEP AND CALM DOWN SWEETY!! Everything will be fine and if she is Autistic then you will be ok and you will love her just the same as you did last week before you saw that show!! I was scared to death when Jordyn would not talk and always pointed and grunted and threw some fits like have never seen but the main thing was the fact that it was like he couldn't hear!! We had his hearing checked and that was great so he could hear but he still act like he could!! anyway sweetie, if she is then be thankful that you caught it early which is the best thing! She will be able to get therapy for her talking and if she is anything like Jordyn then she is to smart for her own good and so stubborn!! There is nothing that Jordyn can not do but just getting him to do it is another thing! He is so smart and he can do anything on the computer and I mean anything!! If it is electronic then he can work it! He knows so much in his little brain but he just can't talk well!! He is not potty trained yet either!! that is a fight that I really would like to win soon!! He can go but so much of the time he just won't do it!! He will just get up and go pee pee without anyone telling him or anything but he won't do it all the time and he won't go poo poo in the potty! He tries so hard at times to talk and he even said a whole sentence today for the first time really! He wanted to sit in my lap at the computer and all he was doing was whinning and saying get (sit) and pointing to my lap! I told him to say "Meme can I sit in your lap"!! and HE SAID IT!! of course it wasn't plain but we cheered him and loved him because he really tried to say a whole sentence by himself!! this is a big accomplishment in his (our) world!!!! N., you can e-mail me and I will help you in everyway that I can but just always remember this...it broke my heart when I reallized that there was something wrong with my grandson and I couldn't fix it but I love him so much (and yes at times I could ring his neck) and nothing will every change that!! you love Destiny no matter what and I know you want only great things for her but with your love she will have great things!! With everyday you will see things with her that will make you smile but there will times that all you want to do is cry and well you need to go away and cry and then come back and remember she is your baby girl and nothing will every change that!! I don't mean to repeat myself but I just can't explain enough that it will be ok but you just have to relax and take one day at a time!! wait and see what the Dr says but make sure you push the fact of what your worried about and make him address all of them!! Good luck sweetie and let me know how things are going with you and the rest of the family!! I'm always here for you so just write me!!! D.

N., I promise I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I also want to say no matter what happens you are not to blame. Now I pray your daughter is fine,but if by chance something comes out in all this know you are doing great seeing how she is young and you are checking into it now.
Good Luck, T.

Ok calm down. You should be concerned but I think you have scared yourself. Alot of what you have listed are signs of mild Autisum but they are also signs of a 2 yr old. I think you have done what you should by making an appointment with your doctor. Enjoy her birthday party this weekend. Make it an extra special day for both of you. Keep us post on how things go next week. You will be in my prayers. Remember, there is NOTHING you did that caused whatever her problem is.

Don't let things you hear put idea's in your head. My daughter is three and is just now starting to speak. She also said words one time, threw temper tantrums, ect. My mother in law swore she had autism. She is fine. This is normal behavior for children. Before you go and have your child diagnosed, think of the conquences it will have on her throughout her life. Let the doctor know you are concerned, but let him determine if there is a problem. If a child is diagnosed with autism they are never insurable for the rest of there life. Don't lable your child early. Don't look for problems. All children develop differently and at a different rate. My daughter has just recently started speaking, but at a very early age she could climb, stack blocks, figure stuff out on her own. Give her time to show you that she is brilliant. Don't make that decesion for her.

Autisum is not something that you can cause it is genetic. My sisters son has a form of it and her husbands sister has two children who have it. Talk to your dr. have the test run if you feel and he/she feels that is what your daughter is showing signs of. Autistic children are hightly intelligent, not very social children they require a lot of patience on your part. But if given the attention they need - they are the most loving, highly productive children and adults.

N.,
Take a deep breath and relax sweetie. You have been given some wonderful advise so far. The mother with the 14 yr old boy with Autism gave you GREAT advise! call her. I'm also a Mom with a boy who has Autism. He will be 5 in a week. Was given the diagnosis at almost age 2. He did not like to be touched, had no eye contact with anyone, did not play with toys, couldn't be taken to the mall, to gatherings, etc. Hated crowds, rain, wind, buzzing of lights, would bang his head, rub his head on the floor in circles, etc. His name is Alex. He didn't say his first word until he was about 3 1/2. We taught him American Sign language. With the help of his special instructer & Speech therapist. To this day he still has speech therapy & behavior therapy. He now talks like crazy, still has some sensory issues but you can't pick him out from any other 5 yr old child. He has really come a long way. He will be attending a regular kindergarten class this fall which was the goal. My point to this long story is Early intervention makes all the difference in the world.
We have only lived in TN for a yr but I know that Shelby County has a great Early intervention program for children up until the age of three. You might want to call them after you speak with your doctor. Our Alex got his early intervention from the state of GA. We are blessed with using TN's early intervention with our 8 mth old because he was born with cleft palate & lip.
If you would like to talk more about how autism has blessed our lives & Alex feel free to call me at ###-###-####. Here is a (((Hug))) for you. Sorry this response was so long.

I do not know very much about autism, but I do agree with all the others on here, autism is NOT caused by anything you did or did not do. Please keep remembering this. Also, I agree that you should not try to diagnose her yourself. The special on PBS could very well pin point all of her symptoms, but some other much simpler cause might also be the cause of these symptoms. So, keep praying, remember that you did nothing to cause whatever is going on with her, if anything, and if it does turn out to be autism, with the help of the Heavenly Father, we can deal with anything. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" I'll be praying for you and your family, in the mean time, make that appointment!! I don't know all the answers, but I know the one who does!

Hi N.,

First of all please, take a big breath and relax. The truth is, we all watch tv specials about this or that disease and disorder, and often times, find that our symptoms fit the disease or disorder. Our minds are funny things, we start seeing little patterns that may or may not be there, simply because a few symptoms seem to fit.

In other words, your daughter may simply be going through the terrible twos or something a little early, and I wouldn't let myself be freaked out about it.

Yes, mention these things to her doctor, and let him or her do a few tests or whatever, but even if your daughter is autistic, which she may not be, there are wonderful things they are doing now with autistic children, so she isn't necessarily going to be off in her own little world most of the time. You said she is very lovey, and that is a good sign that she recognizes affection and love, and responds well to it.

As for what you said about your stress during pregnancy and working 3rd shift...well, you need to put that out of your mind and don't even go there. A lot of women have difficult pregnancies and have perfectly healthy children. I had toxemia during my first pregnancy, and my baby was fine. A lot of women who have little stress and do not work have babies with health problems. Stress or whether you work 3rd shift or whatever is not a cause of a health issue in babies. Health problems can happen with babies regardless of the stress of the mother or working conditions. So please, stop thinking that. We have enough in life to feel guilty about as women than to add on things that have no bearing in fact.

Take care!

Let me say this first and foremost. You have done nothing wrong. Nothing. There is nothing you could've done to prevent this (autism). You must first get her diagnosed with Autism first. My,now,6 year old is diagnosed with autism. He was first diagnosed with Pervasive Development Disorder-Not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS)when he was about 2 1/2 years old. It's bascially saying his social skills are lacking. It's a mild form of Autism. With therapy and a lot of TLC he's doing great in school (he's in Kindergarten) and there's not much difference between him and the other kids in his class.

Your very first step is to talk to your doctor. He/she will have some questions (be very honest on your answers) and will recommend some specialists to help with the diagnosis. Read up on autism. I recommend going to the website www.autismspeaks.org. It really helped me. There are thousands of websites that you can go to for more information. I hope this helps and please let me know what your doctor(s) say. I would really like to help you with this considering I'm still going through this.

N.,
Try to keep an open mind and not think the worse. I have three girls. My oldest could have a conversation with you at 14 months old (I mean complete sentences etc.)[She is 10 1/2). My middle wasn't far behind, always has been competitive with the oldest and still is. [She is 8]. My youngest is the 'odd man out'. She only said a few words until she was almost two. In fact, she did say much until after her 2nd birthday. I had her tested at 18 mths...her receptive (hearing/understanding) speech was at 28 mth level. Her expressive speech was at a 12 mth level. I waited and had her tested again at 21 mths. Her expressive was a little higher and her expressive had raised to 13 mths. The lady who came to our house and tested her told me to tell my older girls to stop talking for her and we were to make her ask for what she wanted. Once we started that she began to say more after her 2nd birthday. However, even now (at 5) she talks 90 to nothing at home, but at church or other places she rarely talks. It took her 6 mths+ to say anything to her Sunday School teacher when she was promoted to her 3 year old class. She said nothing to anyone. In fact, they didn't think she could talk at church until last spring (2006) when they had a talent show and she got up in front of the whole church and sang "My Girl" accapella. Since then she still doesn'st talk much, except to a few people, but they know she can talk. At times I still get concerned because her skill level, in my opinion, is slightly delayed. However, I have nothing to gauge this by since my older girls were advanced. I do not know what most children who have just turned 5 are supposed to know. I homeschool, and we just keep working. She is very smart and loving too. There is really know what to know until she gets older. Tantrums are very common for two year olds. Speech may or not be a problem. If you have a very verbal older sibling, she may be talking for her. If so, ask her to make her little sister ask for what she wants and not talk for her. As people have told me "all children are different and progress at their own rate". This is very hard to abide by....but very good advice if you don't want to stress out.