Don't feel bad. They said the same thing about my son. I took a stand and decided I don't want to go through the silliness that the Bright Horizon wanted. Just and FYI, if my parents (same situation, my mother speaking Spainish and my dad born in the States) realized that I had the same thing, I may have gone through the silliness too. Just pay attention to what they are telling you and see if it is of value. You and your husband can decide how to move forward. I didn't find their classes helpful and decided not to parcipate. It might a foolish decision on my part, but I asked the question, when can this child be a child? My son is now at homecare 10 hours of day, and I am expected to take time away from work to go to Seattle for speical classes. I can't do that and I do not feel comfortable wiht my son taking the bus that far for something that I don't see value in.
In part, all anyone could talk ot me about my child's weakness and never mentioned his strenghts. That was bothersome to me. Maybe it was strange of me to bring that up, but as an engineer, I do see life differently.
What really angered me the most was, doctors told me that I have great insurance (I too work at Boeing) and they wanted me to do testing only because I had great insurance. When I asked what benefit will we get from they the testing, many of the people gave me a funny look. Most people say "yes" without asking what it the benefit or what purpose these test serve. Please do not put your child though testing such as blood work if it does not bring valve. It is not worth it.
Just understand becuase your child is on the spetrum, it means that he'll learn different. He might get some tips how to learn better or work on his emotions if he goes to classes. The speech might be of benefit, but if you are a stay at home mom, and spend time working with your child, that might be enough. My son is now at an awesome homecare. He has excelled nicely there. My son needs more attention and a little help. He still has another year before starting kindergarden. Maybe I will put him in the speech class. He works best in small group settings. I am considering private school over public for the smaller class size when he starts grade school. Maybe that is all what they mean by the austic spectrum. What a stupid name for something doctor cannot really explain.