Autism and Changes in Plans

Updated on September 16, 2017
G.♣. asks from Springfield, IL
5 answers

So our 8 year old has had to deal with a change in plans ... or at least a change in what he thought was supposed to happen. A Sunday School class was not in the room he thought it would be in. PE class at school was outside and not in the gym.

I realize this is common in autism, and I wondering how to help him. We try to prepare him ahead of time for changes, and that definitely helps. Sometimes we forget, and sometimes we don't know, either.

I know he needs to learn how to deal with changes, so what kinds of things can I say to help to help him deal with the unexpected?

Recently, after his teacher told me that he was not happy about the PE relocation, I told him that sometimes things are different and that's ok. Sometimes they are not what we expect, and that's ok.

I've done social stories with him in the past, and that seems to help a bit. I guess I'm just wondering what else might help, especially as he gets older.

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So What Happened?

My son does not go to our neighborhood school. He went there for 1 1/2 years before we transferred him to a special needs school. He's in a classroom with other kids on the autism spectrum. He started at this school about a year and a half ago, and it has been a Godsend! His teacher has been the same the whole time, and she is wonderful. She writes in his notebook every day to tell us how he did. This particular day they were using the gym for some meetings or something, and the kids had to have PE outside. She just mentioned that he wasn't pleased and that he "had a long refusal, but eventually joined the class." This school uses the "wait them out" method. They really do handle everything. In fact, they are the ones teaching me :-)

I try to prepare him for things, but the two biggest things on my mind were wanting to help him learn to cope better because I can't anticipate everything and wondering if trying to prepare him all the time was actually not helping him in the long run.

I really do appreciate the responses. It's really the same as most other parenting situations. Once in awhile we get into a habit and wonder if it's no longer age or developmentally appropriate. Sometimes I just wonder if it would be in his best interest for me to raise my expectations. At the same time, we are continuing to go to Sunday School with kids at our neighborhood school, and we are trying Cub Scouts (after a disastrous try 2 years ago). Maybe that's enough for now, and continuing to try and prepare him is what he needs.

More Answers

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My friend's son was diagnosed with autistism. One day she took another route to drive home from school due to a detour. Her son was so upset by this. Never again did she take the same route home again. She started to mix things up including his school lunch box. He would get fixated on things and she wanted to teach him change was a part of life. She gave him lots of practice to get used to this concept and he got better as he got older. He's a college graduate today with a good job.

4 moms found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from New York on

Hi G. - did you accidentally delete part of your question? You did not describe *how* your son reacted - did he cry, not want to go to the class, etc? Just trying to figure out what his reaction was originally.

3 moms found this helpful

T.D.

answers from Springfield on

the teacher needs to be proactive about sudden changes in his schedule. if class is going to be out rather than in she should be notifying him at the start of the day and give him a few reminders so he can prepare himself for the change.
you should make every attempt possible to remember and help him prepare ahead of time. set an alarm, put it on the fridge, whatever works best to help you remember so you can help him ajust to a change that you know is going to happen. if it is a sudden change and you have no prior notice then be prepared to step in and take your child home to be in his safe zone to calm down (even if its just mental calming and not a major outburst as i have witnessed some spectrum children have). it sounds like you already have a good handle on things so keep up what your doing and talk things out with him so he is somewhat prepared for change

2 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It's natural for people to want a comforting routine.
But the routine becomes a rut or a crutch if they HAVE to have that same routine all the time.
I like JC's answer.
Her friend recognized her son needed to get out of his comfort zone on a regular basis until doing something different became the new normal.
Try getting him use to changing plans by changing them more frequently.
Yeah he won't like it at first - but it's all practice and eventually he'll learn to take it in stride.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would probably call a team meeting and ask for ideas pertaining to school times when changes happen. His teacher and aid, if he has one, should have a set plan of words/phrases they say to be consistent that start the process for him to know something is coming up that will be different.

Then you can carry that on in your home life and at church. Let the kids teachers know what they need to do if he has a change coming up, such as come get mom or dad to help with the transition.

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