Attorney Sugestion Needed

By the time you would find a lawyer and get the ball rolling with that, it would be time for him to go. You're only talking about 23 days. It would take you at least through next week to find a lawyer, make an appointment and have the lawyer do anything. By then you're down to two weeks or less.

I'm with Doris Day. Sit down with a school counselor and hash it out.

I am not a lawyer but have you considered sitting him down and talking to him? Can you charge him for what he damages?

I know you are very unhappy with the situation, but there is not a lot you can probably do about it. He is not doing anything illegal or causing you any physical harm which might be the only reasons you could have him removed. If he is a student I would call the school and try to get a counselor or a mediator to intervene. It sounds like there are language and culture issues at play here too. Maybe someone who speaks his native language can help you out too. Make a list of the most important things and try to have him work on those in the remaining time. The behaviors you discussed are not "deal-breakers" in my opinion. My kids have left cans of soda in the freezer and yes it makes a mess and most teenage boys (and some girls) lack bathroom etiquette.
We have hosted a foreign exchange student through an exchange program. We received no compensation and had to go through extensive interviews and screenings in order to host. The student did bring their own spending money.

Obviously I don't live there, but I think as I read this, that some of this is perhaps cultural. Before you chuck him and the time is pretty soon, he might not understand a few things, for a starter bathroom situations are different in some homes or countries. In some places plumbing is terrible and the person is instructed to not flush or perhaps the rootbeer explosion is a mishap. Now if you have numerous other situations by all means and they are wracking up, then of course you want to do something about it. If a talk doesn't clear it up, (does this person speak our language or yours?) then I guess looking for a way out might be a plan, but sometimes we are so used to what we do (for instance when I met my husband a lot of people weren't supposed to put toilet paper in the toilet where he came from for poor plumbing and I was aghast)...be sure it's on purpose. Was the note actually seen?Why a lawyer? contact whomever is in charge of the program and explain the situation. sometimes it is a matter of communication and we all have different takes on this.

Has he been there all school year and you want him out 3 weeks early?

Is he under 18?

If he is so annoying I would offer him the last 3 weeks of the money to get him out (or find another host family willing to take him and offer the money if the contract allows this). If you keep it you sound like the one taking advantage of a child (not that you are, but it could legally turn into that situation). I didn't realize host families get paid, I thought it was an expense to take on a foreign exchange student.

From an outsider your examples seem very harmless and typical of a teen. I was thinking of him doing drugs and sleeping with multiple partners, punching holes in the walls along with peeing in the corner in your home as a possible reason for a lawyer.

I completely understand how examples can not show the true level of stress someone is causing another with they live under the same roof.

I would not leave notes, rather text or some message that you can prove you informed him. I also agree with talking with the teacher (mediator) and find out if you can switch him to another family. Finding a lawyer and getting the ball rolling will take 3 weeks.

edit for SWH: He sounds like a roommate. Either way, you can not kick him out and expect to keep the money. I do not know of many lawyers who give free advice unless they are related to you (even those do not give free advice).

It's too late. You have a legal binding contract to keep him there.

You have 3 weeks left... Suck it up

Remember if you ever venture into this again... Go through a reputable agency

I have a friend expecting her 3rd exchange student in 3 months. Never any issues. Ground rules are set with agency and host or you get a ticket back home if you can't comply with rules.

You learned with this one. I agree that the offenses you mention are minor compared to what I've heard and seen ?

ETA: If you have sucked it up all year, what difference does 3 weeks make.. Also, if it is that bad refund the money at a prorated amount through his term. You can't keep the money and throw him out but you can refund the money and get him out if it is as bad as you say it is. I am sure is it not THAT much money, really? I still don't get why you've waited this long if it has been this bad all year. I stand by my point... suck it up.. it is just 3 more weeks.

The soda and the toilet are minor issues we all encounter while learning and growing up. And you said you went into HIS bathroom, so it doesn't sound like he was sharing that mess with you.

Suck it up for the three weeks, and never take another exchanger or renter into your home again. You will find the money somehow, and you will feel so much better. (I used to have renters, had a few bizarre experiences, so I don't have renters any longer.)

Don't ever host an exchange student again. I am assuming you've listed his most serious offenses in your question and the additional info you provided. From those details it seems you are dealing with issues of culture and youth/inexperience. You CLEARLY don't have the time or patience to dedicate to teaching an exchange student. This is part if the deal when you host them. You aren't just renting them a room. I think you should pack away your valuables and anything you don't want broken, and put them up for the next three weeks. And from a technical standpoint (as someone who is extremely knowledgeable in landlord tenant issues for California) you have exactly zero chance of getting him out of your house within the next three weeks unless he voluntarily leaves. Please, PLEASE, don't ever "host" an exchange student again. It is clear you aren't cut out for the job!

Look at your contract.

If you have a contract with him stating the level of cleanliness, and he is in violation, then you can evict him. If not, you're stuck for the next three weeks. I don't think an attorney would take your case because there are no damages. You don't like this person and you don't like the way he's treating your house. But letting a can of soda explode and not flushing the toilet don't rise to the standard of being able to throw someone out and not refund their money.

Sorry...

You want to pay for an attorney and probably his airfare over 3 weeks?

Instead, go to the school and sit down with him and his teacher who speaks his native language, and have a counseling session with him. Be kind, but firm. Have a list with you of the things that he is doing that is "destroying your home". If you feel that he is discounting what you say because you're a woman, take your husband with you (if you're married.)

Try this before you spend a huge amount of money on a lawyer.

M.:

If you have a contract with he and his family - read the fine print about damages and leaving early.

To be honest? it's what - 3 weeks? You have three weeks left. By the time you talked to a lawyer, retained him to get the paperwork signed and all the other stuff...it will be time for him to leave.

Look over the contract you have with he and his family. See if they are responsible for damages to your personal property. If not - lesson learned. If so - get repair costs and sent the receipts to the family.

Sit down and look this kid in the eye and DO NOT Leave a note on the bathroom mirror and reiterate the rules for the last 3 weeks he is there. If you need to have him sign a contract for behavior and such - do it. Talk with the school about the situation as well. He should be held accountable. Talk with his parents too.

Good luck!

I find it interesting when "everyone" or as you say "we all" misunderstood. That is usually when I have to sit back and take a breath and look at the situation outside of my emotional distress. We do all see this as trivial and yes we are not in the situation, however, that is why life throws us these "experiences" and they come in all forms...to alert us of what we are not capable of handling and that life is not always as predictable as we may see it.
I "jff" looked back into your postings and saw the post about the microwave/convection oven dying. There was no accusation or any frustration about someone breaking your oven at the time. Obviously this child has worn on your last nerve and it is actually time to be the adult and having children of your own understand how you would want someone to treat yours. Yes, you might have raised yours a different way but all in all you should respect others and try our best to be kind to those in our home ... its a situation gone bad. We might think, not that bad but to you its horrible. I am sorry but yes I think you might want to hang it up with inviting others into your home from now on because in the light of things, you need and deserve your peace and only you can control that when there are no others involved.

While I know it must be hard, I would not contact an attorney.
And no, if you kick him out early, you would need to give him a prorated
refund.
Since he's an international student that came here in faith that he would be provided a place to stay with the money he gave you, I would NOT kick him out. He'll have no place to go.
I would talk to him and NICELY ask him to please flush the toilet.
In regards to the root beer incident, I'm sure he was just trying to make it
colder & did not think it would explode before he got to it.
His infractions sound minor & I would let it go w/some communication
w/him.
He only has 20 more days (not counting the 2nd when he leaves).

Sounds like he is a tenant in your house. You made an agreement with him that he could live in your house in exchange for payment. He's paid up until June 2. You cannot kick him out. In fact you cannot kick him out on June 2 unless you have a contract stating that he leaves on that date. He is a tenant and you have to go thru legal channels to evict him. First you give him a 30 day notice.

Call an attorney that deals in landlord/tenant issues and ask. Many attorneys will answer questions without a charge for the first consultation.

You can also call the District Attorney's office for the county and ask to speak to someone working in the civil section that deals with landlord/tenant issues. Either attorney can verify for you if this a renter issue and how you could get him out.

I suggest that you just wait it out for another 2-3 weeks. I understand you being angry. Actually, I don't understand taking in a teen or young adult who isn't going to school. If he is an international student at a school then you can ask for help from them. I don't know what they can do but it wouldn't hurt to ask.

Have you tried just asking him to leave. I'd willingly give him a refund to get rid of him. I'd have done it a long time ago. If he's been this way for months, I wonder why you're just now looking for a way to get him to leave.

BTW: What you've written doesn't seem so bad, except for maybe breaking the microwave. Did he do it on purpose? I sometimes forget to flush my toilet. My daughter put a can of soda in the freezer and it exploded. How old is this student? She didn't do a good job of cleaning it up, either.

Just as with your own child, you should've had a written agreement with him outlining the boundaries you would enforce in your house once you realized you didn't have similar housekeeping standards. A part of the agreement would've included him leaving if he didn't meet certain requirements. And then I'd have asked an attorney if this would've worked.

I suspect you're angry at yourself too. Consider this a very painful lesson learned. You're only raising your blood pressure and making life unbearable if you continue with this degree of anger. I really think there is nothing that you can do at this late date.

Might you consider giving the kid some grace? Remember, he IS just a boy still, and on top of that his culture might do certain things differently. He is just learning. The things you have mentioned happen in my house on a daily basis. We don't flush toilets overnight because we don't want everyone to get woken up. Rule is if it's yellow, it's mellow, if it's brown, flush it down.
Also, my husband made cherry coke popsicles for the kids yesterday during the heat wave and they exploded in the freezer. Yes, the mess is still there, but it's frozen and not going anywhere. Not really a big deal, it will get cleaned up. I am not angry with him, I think it's sweet he wanted to make popsicles for the kids.
If this is all about money, you might want to reconsider your income source. I would be seriously bummed if one of my kids went international and lived in a house where they had to walk on eggshells. I would want the hosts to speak kindly to my kids and explain the expectations. And if they were asked to clean something up, and didn't do what was expected, I would hope the host would show them some patience and show them how to do a better job.

talk to him. don't go the legal route, you will be out of the money you are trying to keep. he has a return ticket. yes 3 weeks can be an eternity if the situation is driving you crazy but treat him as you would your own kid. talk to him. talk talk talk.