Attn: Breastfeeding / Co-sleeping Mamas.

Hi Jasaam,

If it was me, I would start by putting her to sleep in her crib, and stop co-sleeping. I co-slept with my last and it was much easier for breastfeeding, but if you want to stop night time feeds, I would start breaking the pattern. That's where I would start.

Then, if she fusses in the night, go in and soothe, and let her fuss a bit more than you are currently. Go in and shh'd and soothe as much as you can without the boob. Stretch the time as much as you can. If she is having a really hard time and you do have to give the boob, then I would nurse her in her bedroom. Be prepared for some sleepless nights but the more you break the pattern, the easier to give up the habit.

Also - just make sure she's good and filled up before bed so she's not hungry. If she's used to getting night time feeds, she may need some extra in the evening before bedtime, to get her through.

No point in feeling guilt over your son's teeth. We've all felt guilt over things - trust me. I think it's part of being a mom.

Good luck :)

Well first, nursing her is not going to cause bottle mouth. Many kids are nursed well beyond 12 months (some 14, 16, even 18 months). You are fine to continue ... if that's what you want. If you are ready to stop, that's ok, too. But do not stop because you think you are a bad mom for continuing to nurse.

Either you put your husband in a different bed and break her of this, or you stop co-sleeping. Either one is going to be hard on you.

1) Sending him elsewhere in the house to sleep: Wear your bra to bed. Turn away from her so that she cannot get to your boobs. Play asleep and don't "wake up". She will eventually fall back to sleep after making a huge racket. This is a form of having to self-soothe, even though she is in bed with you. After this finally happens, and it will take at least a week, if not a couple of weeks, then let hubby come back to bed.

2) Putting her in a crib. When she wakes, go in to her and pat her on the back, but don't pick her up. Sit down on the floor and put your hand through the slats and pat her leg. Nothing but her leg. She will be standing in the crib for a while, but by sitting in the floor patting her leg or foot, she will lay down to be closer to you, and eventually will fall asleep. This will cost you sleep over and over until she finally gets used to being in that crib and not nursing.

I applaud you for worrying about her teeth. I'm sorry your son is going through this.

Did you read the link you provided recently to another mom?

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/9343386080675954689

First of all bottle mouth comes from allowing a child to sleep with a full bottle of milk and the nipple in their mouth the whole time dripping onto their teeth. Normal night time feedings do NOT cause any damage. Why? Because saliva is made to rinse our mouths.

Do you rush to brush your teeth every time you take a drink of coffee or pop? Do you rush to the bathroom at lunch to brush your teeth? or do you go back to work and wait until after dinner? Or are you like most people who brush twice per day?

We'd all have rotted out teeth if bottle mouth was from general eating and drinking. It is an old wives tale that isn't true for just regular feedings and bottles.

So stop feeling bad about yourself.

If your child had normal enamel on their teeth no matter what they ate or drank it wouldn't matter. They'd never have a cavity.

Your child has weak enamel that they probably got from you and their dad. That's the cause of their cavities. Letting them get to this extent...well, if you can't see them it's hard to know they need dental care.

Your little one still needs to nurse and that's part of having a small one. One thing you can do is move the baby bed into your bedroom and put it alongside your side of the bed so you can reach in and touch her while she's sleeping and if she's fussy. This will get her used to being in her bed and not laying next to you. As she gets used to this she can be moved into a bedroom of her own. It takes time.