Attachment parents-How Do I Gently Wean My 2 Yr Old?

J.,

Good for you for nursing this long! We have practiced Attachment parenting with our 2 year old son and I am starting to think about weaning as well. I would highly recommed the book: The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning by Kathleen Huggins and Linda Ziedrich. I have just started to read it. I am sure you know the basics about only dropping one feeding at a time.

We just dropped our morning nursing session (down to naptime and bedtime only now). It was a little tough, but we tried reading books and snuggling while we had a sippy of milk on the couch, but my son wasn't going for it. He loves the movie "Curious George" (and we do very little TV) so for now we let him watch about 10 minutes of it while he has his milk. The first few days daddy sat with him and had a glass of milk too, and we talked a little about how eventually all big boys (like Daddy) drink their milk from a cup...

After about a week instead of asking to nurse he says "milk! George!" when he wakes up...

I say trust your instincts, if you start weaning and you feel it isn't going well, you can always wait a few weeks and try again...

Good Luck!
J. R.

What happened for me was that my daughter slowly weaned herself over the year following her night weaning. She nursed less and less, until finally I offered her the breast one day and she refused, I was actually a little bummed! About a month later she asked to nurse and I told her it was all gone, she shrugged and asked for water. I weaned her at night at 18 months and she self weaned at 2 1/2. Friends of mine who wanted to hurry the process stopped nursing on demand outside of the house and then at the house usually until their kids were nursing only first thing in the AM and last thing at night finally stopping those feeds over a space of months, very gradually. Good luck!

I personally found there was no "gentle" way to wean 100%. My daughter was the opposite, I nursed only at night beginning around 19 months when I went back to work in an office after working from home for 18 months. Night nursing was the only way I could get her to sleep since she still slept in our bed. At 20 months I had to go on a business trip to the east coast for a week and left her with her dad and grandmother. At first she was fine without Mommy, but it became a little more difficult for them to manage mid-week. At any rate when I returned she was happy to see Mommy... well happy to see that Mommy's boobies were back. Months before I left I too wanted my boobs back, but did not know how to successfully wean her while she was still sleeping with us. When I tried to deny her from nursing at night she would just cry until we (her dad and I) just gave in and let her nurse. Long story short, when I returned from my week long trip I decided that I wanted to stop nursing all together. It took her a couple of weeks to get used to the fact that she could no longer nurse. Here we are a month later and she still asks for "booby" or "mimi" as we like to call it about 2 to 4 times per week. I just tell her that "mimi" is for babies and that she is a "Big Girl" now. I then offer her another option; water, juice, milk or food. Most of the time she is not hungry so I just cuddle with her or read to her and she moves on. So far we have been doing okay. Good luck! I know it is a difficult time and a difficult thing to do. My only suggestion is be very nurturing, comforting and most of all consistent.

J.,
Well, are you down to the last feeding, only once a day now? That is where you need to be first. What I did was hold my kids instead, so they still got the connection, and the mommy time, they just realized they did not have to be nursing to get the same result.
W.

Whie I never nruser either of our boys that long, I have had many friends who have. They have all slowly cut back on the day time nursings. How many times a day does he nurse? Try cutting out the ones that occur while at the park or out doing an activity. When he asks just maybe offer him a cup telling him that big boys drink from cups or tell him you will only nurse at home & if he wants to nurse, then it's time to leave. Then get him distracted or involved in something else. And since you say it's for emotional needs, maybe try replacing the nursing w/some kind of lovey. Take him to the store & let him pick out his special pal & then offer it when he wants to nurse. The key is to stay strong & be consistent. If you waiver (SP?) at all, he'll pick up on it & you'll be back at square one. Hope this helps & good luck!

You go girl. As a mom of three independent children, after being parented the same way, I am with you. Maybe some special snuggle time? Starting before you know he usually goes to nurse...start slow, once a day then after a few days, try twice...ect...
Try not sitting or laying where you "Normally" nurse, try the floor for awhile, that way the routine may throw him off and eventually he will forget it altogether...Try engaging with a "new" game...I know you will do great!

I weaned my son at 21 months (last September) primarily because of his little personality having a hard time accepting that I had any control over my own body. Like you, I knew that he was nursing for an emotional connection (he never even mentioned nursing to my husband or mother if they were watching him) and i didn't want him to get the idea that I didn't want to spend special time with him.

What worked for me was replacing nursing with other special one on one time. It went very easily for us and he was "off the booby" after about a week or two. the new special thing should really be special and something he doesn't do with other people. For us it was sharing one glass of lemondae through two straws (eyeball to eyeball) or taking a bath together depending on the time of day. Because he was talking quite a bit by then, I used that time to let him go on in his silly baby talk about whatever he wanted and gave him my undevided attention.

Hope this helps. I'd also recommend explaining the whole thing to him as you go. like "You're getting so big now and soon we won't nurse anymore, but we will find new ways to love eachother..."

My son still likes to pull down the neck of my shirt and lay his cheek on them or reach a hand in when gets nervous, but he no longer tries to nurse.

HTH
T.