My daughter will be 3 in November (as she reminds me everday along with how she's going to get a Priness blanket and baby dolls LOL) and she's great. She's always been more of a Mama's Girl. I breast fed her til she was 15 months old and cloth diapered her til she was a little over 2 and started to reject the diapering (not sure why). She's now potty trained etc... but that's not the reason why I am writing today.
My daughter has seemed more attached to me than normal. She doesn't like to play with her older half siblings or be with her Daddy. She clings to me whenever she is with me. She will sit and watch TV with me or play in the room while I read ... anything just to be near me. I play with her in her room etc. and try to do other special things with her but sometimes it's overwhelming that it seems like no one else can do things for her. I don't want to make her think that there is something wrong with how much she loves me but would like to find subtle ways to have her spend more time with the family in the house without me being right there with her.
Thanks for your advice.
Sounds normal at 2. I know it can be overwhelming having kids all over you all the time but if you give her what she needs she is more likely to be emotionally healthy later on.
Hi V.,
You must be a WONDERFUL Mommy :O) She just loves you! Take it as a compliment, because that's the way it is intended :O) It is very normal for the age......
To help me "encourage seperation" I began talking outloud! :O) Everything I was doing and about to do I would say outloud and use my microwave timer to show how fast I was. For example, "Mommy's going to clean the dishes, I think I can do this in 5 minutes, let's see...." While I did this for almost EVERYTHING for about 2-3 days, my boys learned that even if I rotated the laundry without them, it was only going to take a few moments AND I WAS COMING BACK! I even had to give a kiss after my return for ahwile to show how happy I was to see him.....
Is this over-doing it? YES! But it worked :O) And it only took a couple of days of "over-doing it" in a loving way to get some "distance"......
~N. :O)
My first daughter never played by herself and my second daughter loves to play by herself. It's just the way they are. Now they play together. But, your 13 yo is never going to play with a 2 yo. Way too much distance, so don't expect it. Good-luck.
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Hi V.. My daughter is just about the same age as yours, and it sounds like you're talking about her. Although my daughter will sometimes play by herself in her room and go to her dad every now and again, my daughter is exactly the same way! My husband always says both are kids are just mommys kids ( : I think it's just the way some kids are comfortable and especially because you are the primary caretaker. It is overbearing when I get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and my daughter is like mom where are you?! Can I at least go to the bathroom, she sleeps right next to me most nights!AHH! I will be interested in reading the other moms answers on this one! Good luck.
I actually went to a shrink because I was afraid my oldest daughter was "too" attached to me. While we did agree to work on some specific behaviors (like her rubbing my bare stomach, which was getting extremely annoying as she approached four years old), he assured me that there's no such thing as TOO attached.
My daughter's hyper-attachment to me was apparent from the earliest days of her life - she always preferred me to her dad. I breastfed too, until she was 28 months old, and I had supply issues. I blamed myself a lot for the way she rejected others, particularly her dad, and clung to me. If I hadn't breastfed her so long... If I'd had a better supply... If I'd put her down more often when she was tiny...
The thing is, my daughter started preschool last fall (she was among the youngest in her class, having just turned three) and she did GREAT, and since then, she's been growing more independent every day. I know it feels overwhelming to you now, and you're afraid you're going to "screw her up" if you don't push her away, but I promise that you won't. Give her what she needs now, which is apparently to be near you, and I promise that within a year or 18 months you'll find that she's a confident, secure little person who can go off into the world without fear because she KNOWS she is loved by you.
Don't worry about what's "normal" - it's "normal" for people to have a bunch of issues that they're talking to their own shrinks about when they're adults (probably because their parents pushed them away when they were two)! Trust your daughter to develop and grow away from you slowly over her childhood, and even though it can be irritating sometimes to have her "velcroed to your butt" as I say about my oldest, try not to resent it too much. It won't be long before she grows less dependent. It won't be long before she wants to go play with her neighborhood friends and her school friends, and you're watching her run out the door and wishing for a little more velcro. :)
That is very normal. =) When you can't stand her clinging any more take a look at one of the teens...they roll their eyes and think you are SOOO like in their face LIKE...Kids go from one extreme to the other. Just about the time you think you can't stand it they move on to something else. AND just when they start to act "normal" they move out and move away! Hehe!
Take a deep breath, let someone else take her for a while and enjoy the baby snuggles while you can.
Don't worry... you can be certain she's only going to be in this stage for a while. When she's really driving you nuts, draft one of her half-sibs to take her out to play, or for a walk, or, if they're driving, have them take her for a short outing.
Sounds like the age to me. It is an age transition thing. Going from 2 to 3 is a large step developmentally, a lot of things going on and maturity level changing. Just love her with all your might...one day you will miss that!
