My darling two year old daughter is pushing me to the brink with bad sleeping habits. A little background: She was a hard one to wean and I finally weaned her nightime feeding about 4 months ago. Since then the only way she falls asleep at night is with my husband or myself on the couch, then she 50% of the time wakes up crying when we move her to her bed.We dread going to bed. Most nights she just falls back asleep, but there are nights she screams for an hour or more waking up our 12 year old and keeping us awake. She is also a child that does not sleep much. She can go to bed at 10 or 11 be up at 7 and only nap for an hour during the day.
The last week we have been trying to establish a routine and schedule so she goes to bed in her own bed. I am not opposed to letting her cry it out but of the nights we tried she cried for 1-2 hours straight with no stopping. My husband and I took turns sitting in the room with her and also sitting outside her room, nothing made it better. Once she is brought into our bed she falls asleep immediately. I have a new little one coming in April and I can not have two kids in my bed. I need to find a way to break her of these bad habits so that when the new baby comes I can not worry about two kids in my bed. I also need to have my 2 year old go to bed at a decent time so both my husband and I can have some time to ourselves.
To complicate the situation more she has learned how to crawl out of her crib in the last few days and has ended up at my bedside in the middle if the night.
What do I do how do I get some peace and rest at night without the whole house hearing her scream and being woken up by it. Thanks for all your suggestions.
I'm in the same situation right now with my 27 month old. I'm very tired and due in May. She climbs out of her bed. I dont have any help but this what we've tried. I took side off bed and now she wont sleep in it. I tried repeatedly putting her back in bed. nope. She wants to play all night. Right now she is passed out on living rm floor. She has been an excelent sleeper until now. Maybe its a 2 yr old thing?
It may sound crazy, but take her crib out of the room and put her mattress on the floor. Use that as her new "toddler bed." When my daughter started acting like that at bedtime and I realized that she liked my bed better (we never co-slept) I got her into a toddler bed. It worked right away. Yours may need a little guidance staying in bed, but honestly, once those bars were gone, she was much happer. You will need the crib for the new baby, won't you? Sometime between now and then, she can be getting used to the big girl bed. Good luck!
When my son got to that point ( he was close to 3 yrs old), I got him a toddler bed. I put most of his toys into his closet where he couldn't get to them, some were in the hallway, some went to his baby sisters room and some were even stored in my room for awhile. I left him with his stuffed animals, some books and just a few quiet toys. I also put extra blankets and pillows in his room, so if he fell asleep by the door crying, at least he still had a blanket. My husband made a half door for his room with the look on the outside. May sound cruel, but his room is on the second floor by the stairs and I just couldn't bear the thought of him roaming around the house at night, plus when it's bedtime, it's bedtime and you stay in your room. I know people who have used two gates (one on top of the other), but with the stairs, i felt more comfortable using the half door. And I also unscrewed his light bulb, so even if he tried to turn it on, it wouldn't work. So, we did our bedtime routine, tucked him in and that was that. Yes he cried for 4-5 days (less every day) but we got our sanity back, he finally started getting some real good sleep and formed good sleeping habits. Within 6 mo or so, there was no need to even shut his door because he would stay in there and sleep! And I trusted him more on the stairs by then too. At first he did sleep on the floor - exhausted from crying, but by the end of a week, he was staying in his bed after I tucked him in. I NEVER sat in there with him, sat outside the door or checked on him. He had everything that he needed when I tucked him in and that was it. I figured it was kinda like his room was a big crib.
I co-slept with my kids, and it's not horrible, so don't listen to the moms who will scold you for "creating this monster" (as one mom put it!). Yes, there's a challenge, but everything she is doing is 100% developmentally appropriate for a child her age, and dealing with it lovingly and patiently is the best way to end up with a healthy kid :)
Move her to a toddler bed. Since she can climb out of her crib, it's time anyway. Then, at bedtime, go into her room with her. I used to lie on the floor with my daughter in her bed until she fell asleep. It was much easier to tiptoe out then, than moving her from the couch.
Keep your routine going, and keep it consistent. She won't learn it in just a few weeks, but after a while, it will start kicking in that it means time to settle down. Keep it simple ... brush teeth, put on pj's, read a short relaxing story (this is not the time for most of the interactive reading, that should be during the day when she is alert), sing a quiet song, tuck her into bed and give kisses. Don't worry about her learning to sleep without you there yet. Just make bedtime quiet and relaxing.
And then be patient. Realize that she will revert some when baby comes, so have daddy be the one to do bedtime routine atleast several times a week until then so she is used to him when you aren't available.
Oh, and if she watches tv at all, it must go off at least 30 minutes before bedtime. An hour is better. TV works up little kids' brains and wires them up so its harder to sleep (adults, too!)
I would also suggest adding in a set "quiet time" during the day. She may not nap much, but her body still needs the rest, and if you have a fairly regular time, with a regular routine (shortened version of bedtime, maybe) and a quiet, darkened room, she can at least rest and relax for a while, and so can you, hopefully!
Hang in there! I know from personal experience that in a few years, you'll look back and wonder why it was such an issue! (My "nightmare" daughter is now 12, and I wish getting her to sleep was the problem! lol) I know it's hard now, but it won't be forever.
Since you have started a sleep routine you should definitely remain consistent with it. I also don't see anything wrong with kids having lovies so maybe you could get her one if she doesn't already have one so that she can have that sense of comfort. Here are a few ideas about sleeping routines and room ambiance that might help you figure out what else could be done to get your LO sleeping better..hope it helps!
http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/sleep?utm_campaign=t...
I'm sure you've gotten some good (and probably some conflicting) advice.
If she's getting out of her crib, can you try getting a crib tent? That should keep her put for a while at least. However, it will not teach her that she needs to go to sleep on own, so it might just be a temporary solution (once she moves into a toddler or regular bed, the problems might start up again.
I would suggest that if you want to have her fall asleep by herself and sleep on her own, you can go cold turkey, by putting her to bed at night by herself and letting her cry it out. I recommend, if you do this, that you read Dr. Ferber's book before doing so. First, it will explain the sleep cycle and when/why they are more likely to wake up, and offer suggestions to try to help the transition a bit.
If you don't want to go "cold turkey" or "hard core CIO," and don't want to use a crib tent, try putting a sleeping bag on the floor in your room, or a cot, or even just a pile of folded blankets. If she comes in at night, her choices are either the sleeping bag or her room.... but not your bed.
I agree with the others that if you really want to break this, you have to be strong and consistent (no matter how much easier it is to just give in 'once' and take the easy route). Unfortunately that is so much easier said than done.
Good luck!
Here's the Super Nanny sleep separation technique that worked for us:
http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Your-toddler/-/Toddler...
Expect your daughter to scream and fuss about this the first few days. Children will yell to get what they want but if you stay consistent with this plan, the less she will do it until it becomes a non-issue. It really shouldn't take too long for her sleep issues to become a non-issue. Just stay consistent and realize that a little bit of fussing from her and a little bit of effort on your part right now will buy you years of better quality sleep than what you have been experiencing.
Hope this helps.
You've created this monster and now it's your job to fix it.
She screams until she gets what she wants - your bed.
Do the night time routine: Bath, stories, bed.
Tell her that she is a big girl and that she needs to stay in her bed. If she gets up, bring her back. Do NOT talk to her. Just put her back. You'll have to do it more than once. It will NOT be fun. She'll get the message.
Do NOT give in and let her go to your bed - if you do, you'll be starting over the next night.
Be firm. Be loving. Be consistent
YMMV
LBC
My daughter did the same. It all started at 2. I am notorious for going tova toddler bed as soon as they crawl out of the crib the very first time, with her she would fall asleep on the couch independently but at my bed in the middle of the night and of course i let her in our bed, it was way better than being up for hours fighting her bad thing is she is six and still in our bed. She is scared of her room she doesnt even play in there very much. Now she does have bad dreams, in they are getting so bad i am taking her to the doctor. And her dreams are reoccurring. And she wants to sleep in her bed talks about it alot but when its bedtime she wont have anything to do with it my son always slept in his own bed with no problems. I am more lenient with her she is the baby and we are not having anymore and the way i see it she wont be in our bed when shes 20 so i just deal with it. I wish i had some good advice for you, but with my daughters dreams i just cant make her sleep in her own bed. Im probably a sucker but whatever works i guess
Call Patience Blesken ###-###-####. Chat with her SHE IS THE BEST with figuring out sleep problems and helping figure out where your baby is in her development cycle and see what is going on that could be scary.
I agree about the new toddler bed. Does she have a night light? that might work. If she screams, I wouldn't let her go more than 20 minutes... 2 hours? That seemed kind of mean to me unless you were soothing her within that time. Get her a special stuffed animal. Personally I am guilty of my daughter falling asleep to a dvd in her room, but that's because I fall asleep to movies too.. I don't know why but silence creeps me out. My daughter sometimes wakes up once for some juice or milk or water or whatever but she's a good sleeper. If your daughter gets thirsty at night make extra sippy cups before you go to bed so you don't have to be awake very long... I have a 2 story house and have a mini fridge upstairs that I use that for so I'm only awake for a couple mins. If you have a new baby in April just think of this as updated training for the upcoming sleep deprivation LOL. Putting her to bed at a decent time is going to be a little hard just because of the couch routine thats set up... but maybe if you give her a snack right before bed she'll fall asleep faster because her tummy will be full..
Oh and do you think she is having nightmares or night terrors? That would be so scary at that young of an age without mommy or daddy comforting you, ya know what I mean. That's how I'm sympathetic instead of irritated with my daughter if she wakes up a lot because I wonder if she's having a bad dream or scared.
Good luck :)
Also when my daughter switched to a toddler bed I put up a gate at her door (I felt guilty for even thinking of closing the door lol) so she could play with toys until she went to sleep which I didn't mind, but couldn't get out of the room.
I am going through the exact same thing. Our sweet 2 year old daughter has slept through the night since she was 8 weeks old. Never had a problem. Then a week after she turned two, she'd just scream to get out of her crib. So we got her a toddler bed. She loved it at first but not so much now. She goes to bed okay because she's eliminated her nap so by bed time she can barely keep her eyes open. The problem is she wakes up at 2:30 or 3:00 and wants to come to our bed. We let her for awhile because she was pretty sick but if we stay in her room with her she'll stay up and want to play. If we just close the door she cries and wakes her 4 year old brother up. If we put her in our bed she's asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow. Its very strange. I am just in shock because she's always loved to sleep and loved her naps. Anyway, you're not alone. I'm going to try a few suggestions and see what works. I'll let you know! Keep me posted too! :) GOOD LUCK!!
