S.H.
1) Night Time & Nap time dryness... is a BIOLOGICAL attainment. The body, has to develop. Night time dryness is not something that is attained until even 7 years old.... and this is normal and per Pediatricians.
2) Pooping... is OFTEN the last 'stage' of learning toileting. It can cause anxiety and/or stress in the child. Its okay. Don't force it or punish for it. It is a BIOLOGICAL ability and a learning curve. Which is not like peeing.
3) Use a waterproof bed pad directly under her. If she has accidents at night, then it is easier to clean up and the sheets won't get soiled. I have 4 of them, that I rotate, and I got it from Amazon.
My daughter is 7 years old, and she still once in a while, has pee accidents at night. NO biggie. I just change the waterproof bed pad, she changed PJ's, and goes back to bed. I do not scold her.
4) IF a child is "withholding" their poop... and gets Constipation... this is not good. It causes pain.... internally and when it comes out... then the child will NOT want to poop, or at all. That happened to my daughter. We then had to take her to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist... to remedy her Constipation.. the Doctor, said this happens... when a child is learning toileting... and NOT for force it. They will poop in a toilet, when THEY are ready.
I suggest, you take her to the Doctor IF constipation continues in her... because it can cause health problems/bowel blockage/Encopresis and pain.
5) To me, she is not ready to go just in panties, outside the house... for long periods. She does NOT have COMPLETE biological ability, for it yet. This is normal. And, her dryness and ability for pottying/peeing/pooping is not fully 100% in control yet... just sometimes.
OR, you do take her out in panties... and bring lots of spare clothing. Which is also normal.
In our car, we ALWAYS have back-up clothing/pants/underwear for both our kids. We leave it in the car all the time. Handy for even if they get dirty/muddy playing at the park.
6) You can also use, padded underwear for her, which is what I did with my kids. The brands are: Gerber training pants, and Potty Scotty underwear. Both are padded in the middle to absorb leakage or accidents. It is a GOOD transition, from diapers to regular underwear.
Or, her pull-ups are fine for now.
7) You need to go by your child's cues and ability in controlling her body/bladder/brain connections for toileting.
Do NOT 'rush' it... or pressure or push it. A child will be ready when they are ready.
When I used to try and 'encourage' my son about it... he would LOUDLY tell me "IT'S MY BODY!" and I respected that. He... on HIS own, did pottying when he was ready. And then, it was not a battle nor a bad experience for him or me. I go by his cues... and as a result, he KNOWS his body...
I also suggest this, which is REAL great for any kid no matter how old. All my friends have it too:
A car potty or travel potty, for IN the car.
Here is a link for it:
http://www.amazon.com/Kalencom-1730pink-Go-Potty-Pink/dp/...
http://www.amazon.com/Cool-Gear-Travel-Potty-Chair/dp/B00...
It is REAL convenient when in the car, if anywhere there is no toilet, if stuck in traffic etc. It has been a LIFE saver, for our kids.
all the best,
Susan