At What Age Do You Tell Your Kids About Your Period?

There is a book called "It's so Amazing" that covers the subject of where babies come from over several chapters and in a comfortable amount of detail. I started with this book with my two girls, ages 7 and 4, last year. One chapter goes over the process of puberty for boys, another chapter for girls. This should give them the basics. I also found the next installment, a book called "It's Perfectly Normal" which has the age of 10 listed as an appropriate age. This one covers sex, but I am not ready to take that one on yet. It even has a chapter for homosexuals. Good luck!

A., I agree with the advice you've been given. I just want to add one more thought. At age 11 or so my son told me a bunch of boys were having a conversation about girls and sex, sharing what ever they knew. My son was amazed that a couple of the boys (with no sisters) did not even know what a vagina was. The boys did not fare well in that conversation. I think it is important to label body parts properly and explain how it works. They are never too young to have age appropriate information.

Good luck!

I think the first brief "Oh that's ..." explanation was when my son was 2ish.

It's obviously gotten more complex, but at 7 my son knows:

- All female mammals past a certain age are able to become pregnant
- That the lining of where the baby grows (uterus) either sheds after the baby(ies) are born or, if the mum doesn't become pregnant after the cycle passes. Then the mum's body makes an all new lining for each and every *possible* baby.
- That mammal cycles vary. Humans it's every month ("whoa...that would be a LOT of babies mom"), most herd animals once a year, etc.
- That it's not an injury.
- That people have used methods to keep clean & to have children when they decide to for thousands of years. This was non-plussing for my son. He said he has yet to meet a mom who DOESN'T obsess about keeping clean. I told him there were other methods women use so that blood doesn't get everywhere, but that this kind was my favorite because it was the least messy. He considers them something of an interior bandaid.

((Just a fun factoid... did you know that crocodile dung has the same chemical comp as birth control pills? Obviously with a few additives that would never get past the FDA ;) Egyptian women -and Greek/Roman women living in Egypt, depending on the dynasty- would take something similar to capsules of it every day to avoid pregnancies. Women in the ancient world also made tampons out of -hopefully boiled sterile- rags that were bound tightly, and inserted. They had IUD's, too, but they were radically different than ours -smooth pebbles inserted in the URINARY tract ouch!- that depended on irritation/inflammation/the body's histamine response to prevent pregnancies. Camel caravans also used the technique for long treks. I say leave getting a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. shoved into one's urinary tract to the camels. Poor camels. But the birth control and tampons were a pretty cool thing to learn about.))

I should add, though. I know a lot of people who keep these things totally private. I'm a science geek, so I tend to go the TMI route (in most things)... but we all have our areas in which we choose to shield our children from. If this is one of your areas, that's okay, too. I have mine, and this isn't one of them, but I very definitely have mine. So do what feels right to you. <grinning> and never forget it's ALWAYS okay to tell a child that you need to think about it before answering. I forget sometimes, but boy-oh-boy... do I love the permission to get my own thoughts straight before tackling a tricky subject. We all have different tricky subjects, after all.

Hi A.,

I have two boys and I was always very up front and honest about what a period is and how women get to deal with it. As far as I know, there was never any "talk" at school and I never worried about it. All the kids have mommies and accidents happen.

As my boys got older, my husband was able to teach them how to deal with the hormonal mood swings that came with my period. He did a good job because I always thought it was sweet how they'd get more helpful when I needed it most.

Then, when I had a hysterectomy last summer, it was very easy to explain to my boys (then 15 and 11) what was going on because it was all just a part of life. They were great helping me prepare for and recover from my surgery.

I don't think we, as moms, do our sons any favors by hiding this part of being a woman. It's a part of life. Their girlfriends will deal with it; their wives will deal with it; their daughters will deal with it. Consequently, it's a part of their lives, too. However, I think you and your husband should talk to them together so your sons can see how it affects you and how it affects him. To dump this all on you seems...well, it doesn't seem fair to me, that's all.

Good luck!

Each of my sons noticed my period around three years old. I explained to them that I'm alright, this is normal for mommies, and it happens every once in a while. (I say once in while so they aren't shocked when they notice again and because at this age "once a month" wouldn't make sense.)I said "mommies" instead of "girls" so they would relate this function with adult women and not their classmates. I also explained that it won't happen with them. You don't have to explain so much, just enough to alleviate their concerns. Seeing blood sends a warning to the brain and it can be shocking. As far as them saying things to others about it, we all know kids say the darndest things. Besides, If you don't make a big deal out of it, they're not likely to bring it up. Good Luck!

As the mom of girls, I explained simply about it & let them know it was no big deal, a part of life--like brushing your teeth & going to the bathroom. We were always together, I never hid it, but I did try for some privacy, not that I got it too often, but...so it just seemed like one day they noticed the pad & blood in my underwear & asked. I remember my youngest running around the house yelling "Mama's got BLOOD"!!...& of course, the next time they saw I was on my period, they were like, didn't you already do that? So then I explained that it would happen each month, if I didn't have a baby in my ponca (don't know the spelling). It really did take each girl a couple of months of noticing when I was on my period that it was going to happen again.

As they have gotten older, it has dawned on them that as girls they would be doing this themselves, & I have gotten more questions, but I just answer them as honestly as possible. They were pretty horrified that a) it was going to happen to them, like it or not & b) it kept happening--each month!!

I also bought that American Girl book "All about Me" & it is just around for them to check out, if they want to. We talk, but this is one subject that evolves over time & there are always things you don't think of that come up that need a little extra explanation.

One of my girls (she was 2 or 3 at the time) thought it was really neat to watch the tampons expand in the toilet...got 1/2 a box in the toilet before I caught her. Another of my girls took to wearing a pad in her underwear everyday for a couple of months after the AGE class in 4th grade...she was 8 or 9 at the time. I explained the waste of that, & since I didn't start my period until I was 12, she probably had some time yet. But she was really worried for a while that she would have an accident at school & everyone would make fun of her.

As the mother of boys, it may seem like you don't have to to explain it to them, but please do!! They are going to grow up & hopefully be husbands & fathers & the more they know, the better husbands & fathers they will be. There are simple books in the library you can check out when they start asking more detailed questions to help you explain.

BTW, one of my girls DID tell her friends at school that I bleed from my vagina...what can you do, but laugh? And then explain that most people don't want to know that!! Good Luck!

My son is 2 and I don't hide it from him at all. I basically tell him it's my period, mommy is okay, and I wear a diaper too :)! I feel it's not an issue, unless you make it an issue.

I totally understand your situation. When you have young kids, it is nearly impossible to keep things private -- even in the bathroom! That said, both my kids (a girl who just turned 3 and a boy who is almost 6) know that I get my period. The topic came up when we were using public bathrooms and they were in the stall with me. They saw the pad in my underwear and asked about it. Here is what I told them:
"You know how mommies can grow babies in their tummies? Well, each month, Mommy's body prepares to grow a baby by building a nice soft little nest inside. If there is no baby, my body lets the nest go, and that's why you'll see a little blood. It doesn't hurt, and there is no need to worry. It's just something that women's bodies do."

That seemed to satisfy them completely... good luck!

Since mine are still young like yours, when they saw my tampons and pads and asked me what they were I told them mommy bandaids and they haven't asked since then.

I have 2 girls and i am totally honest with them about it, however i also have 2 boys and with my oldest, I always just told him it was 'a girl thing' and he never inquired more or asked again. I really feel with boys there is no point in filing them in too much...good luck!

My son is always in the bathroom with me (he's 7 now) and he has seen the blood. I explained to him that Mommy's have eggs in their bodies and that each month if you don't want to have a baby, the egg comes out as blood. I told him this when he was 3 or 4. He thinks it comes out when you pee. I didn't tell him what it's called or where it comes from. He knows women have vaginas but he doesn't know anything else about them. He sometimes wonders how he got out of my body but he never actually asked so I'm not telling him until he does ask or until he has to have the sex talk. Hope this helps. (It shows you how little privacy we have as moms!)

Hi. I just told my son that every month a woman's body makes a soft cozy place, just in case a baby grows there. The soft cozy place is made out of blood and tissue. If a baby does not grow, then the blood and tissue need to come out and the tampons help absorb it all to keep everything clean.

I personally feel that this is a great opportunity to give your son the information. At this age, it is just information, so it's easier to talk about. They don't yet have any association with this and sex. It's just information about how bodies work.
My son is now 7. I've always answered his questions honestly, so he knows how babies are born and he knows about the menstrual cycle. He's so funny - he wanted to know on what day of the month I get my period, and if every woman has it on the same day.
Anyway, I think that this is a great age for explaining it. It's just information, and then they know it. I doubt that it would be any easier to explain when he is 10 or 12, so go for it now!
It's easier than you think. And if worse case, he did tell people about it - so what? Everyone knows that this happens. Good luck!

Dear A. M,
Keep it simply, and appropriate for 6 year olds. Children see blood and often think you are hurt, thats their mose frequent contct with blood.
Let them know this is what happens to adult women, and that the process helps women to have babies. The full detail will come later.
My daughter at four, burst into the bathroom, and got quite frighten as seeing blood, had to be reassured that I was ok. She some how linked my explination of my cycle to my blood pressure, and for quite a while would ask me if I was having my blood pressure!

Just tell them the truth. I don't have boys, but I have two girls, and they saw me from an early age changing tampons in the bathroom when we went shopping, etc. I would cover it up, but I told them what I was doing and why, so they knew early. Boys are a different story, but you just gotta tell them anyway, and tell them all females have to go through this!

Hi A.-

When my son was 2 he and I were in the restroom of a department son and he saw blood on my underwear. He asked loudly why I was bleeding and did I have a owie down there. It was very embarrasing! I explained, and I'm sure everyone heard, that mom's get a period every month, and it tells us that there is not a baby in a body that we need to keep safe, protected, & warm. I think I went into a little more detail as well. Now he's 10 and knows all about periods, cramps,PMS, & mood swings.

Honesty. It's part of life. It's science! Just sit them down and do a brief explanation now, and more when they are older and understand the world differently. As another person wrote, they will have girlfriends, mother, sisters and wives....it's a part of life.