Are You Making This Holiday LESS About the Presents?

Actually we hyperfocus on presents in our family. We spend months on them. And we take all of December to unschool, in large part so that we can focus on presents (aka no formal lesson plans, but just study things as we wish / things kiddo is interested in. Last Dec that turned out to be videogame design & spatial relationships in mathematics & filmography / architecting what makes a good "scene" in a movie... pretty cool stuff I would never have lessoned out for kiddo and I studied ancient egypt).

School stuff is only pertinent in that we really do spend most of december about presents. We spend one whole week making truffles and truffle stuffed figs and chocolate strawberries. Then there's the infusing of vodkas & gin that kiddo is LESS a part of. There are photo albums to make for relatives, quilts to beg other people's skill at to make, Cyber Monday deals to leap at, gingerbread castle parties to be had, oranges to poke with a gazillion cloves to be given away (tip... indian spice stores sell cloves by the pound for what grocery stores sell them by the ounce). We decorate, wrap, make, buy all month long. It's magic. And 90% of it is all about what we can do for others, and how to make our home magical and warm and fun.

Even spending a whole durn month focused on giving things to people we love, we've yet (may in the future of course, but so far at 8 years it's still a "yet") to have a case of the "gimmes". Instead it's "Can we give so&so something too?" Well... lets see? Do they like chocolate? Do you have any money in your savings? What's your budget, do you think? Gifts carry an obligation of equal return so you don't want to spend too much or it would make the other person feel uncomfortable. How much do you think would just make them happy? What do they like? What do they need? What do they find fun? Yeah we can make a CD / DVD of ______. Yeah, we can TRY and make blue truffles (another percy jackson fan), might not work though, so we'll give it a go, but keep in mind some other ideas for him. No a massage gift certificate is waaaaaay to expensive for auntie. She likes coffee though, can you think of anything coffee related? New espresso cups woud be killer. We could even dip some beans in chocolate when we make truffles. I think a treasure map might not work well as a gift for your friend, but we could get a kit together so they can make their OWN treasure maps; some parchments and quills & inks. Skateboard wheels are a great idea if you can chip in on half... no not the ones with ceramic bearings, she's only 11 kiddo... if she wants uber pricey wheels we can give a gift cert to the store she shops at. Oh... she just wants purple wheels. We can do purple. Etc. so forth, and so on.

We've done presents for 30+ people on $100, $300, & $1000 budgets. Honestly, the less money we spend the more time we spend... so I've learned to like having a smaller budget. Specifically because it DOES mean we're spending a lot more time on presents.

I definately cannot afford gifts this year so I think I am going to bake things... Cookies are fun for kids to decorate too.

Another thing I thought of was to go through my daughter's toys every year and pick out 5 or 6 that she has either out grown or doesn't play with anymore and donating them to the homeless shelter I volunteer at. Its great for me because I wont have too much of an overload of toys, its awesome to save me and my child from being "pack rats" and it shows her a good valuable lesson in giving during the holiday season.

I do think that giving to others is part of the spirit of the Christmas season, but in recent years I have shied away from giving materialistic type things. I am, instead, focusing on sentimental gifts and things to help bring families together.

For example, this year for my sister's family and a few others I will be getting family memberships to the area children's museums. The memberships are about $110 and can be used at any of about 200 some museums around the country. Zoo memberships are great, as are tickets to various family friendly attractions.

I will also be making family calendars with everyone's pictures and birthdays and anniversaries notated on it. These are under $30 and are fantastic.

Christmas has always been less about the presents and more about the reason for the season and family for my son and me. Oh, he makes a gift list every year, but has always understood that there is a dollar limit for Christmas. So he can pick one or two expensive items or a bunch of inexpensive things but the limit is the limit. I have found that over the years (he is 14 now) he thinks longer about what he wants and if something is over budget he will offer to save birthday/chore money to make up the difference. "Santa" will slip an "unexpected" item in - but I have already budgeted for that :)

I also make sure we volunteer every year, either at Thanksgiving or Christmas, in order to give back to our community. We have been doing this since he was 3 starting with Angel Tree and moving on to packing dinners for shut-ins or serving holiday meals.

Being Christian, I also ensure that we attend church - even when we were not attending regularly I made sure we attended Christmas services. In fact, my church this year is actually having services *on* Christmas Day this year!!! So we will be volunteering in the early morning, then attending church, then spending time together for the rest of the day.

Well... now that I have grandchildren, holidays are, um, more about presents again. Spoiling grandchildren is part of my job description! (Only within reason, folks - don't hyperventilate!) I am determined not to go into debt over it, and I shop for Christmas all year round so it's not too hard. But - yes, there are presents.

However, I don't ask for many "gimme" lists. If I need a suggestion for a particular child (or a particular adult), I'll go to another member of the family and ask for a suggestion. It's amazing how that cuts down on the "gimme" factor.

When my children were young, it helped to focus on other people and other facts. What could we do for the neighbors? What could we do at church? What's Christmas really about, anyway? The Santa thing may be fun (especially when you get to help be Santa for the rest of the family), but Christmas is really about something else entirely.

Oh, and ignoring the ads helps. Just because the TV is yelling doesn't mean one has to listen. That's what the mute button is for. I'm certainly for taking children to the mall or other stores to look at the decorations together - but AFTER all the shopping and wrapping is done.

Our family had always been "no gifts on holidays" family. We only give presents on a birthday and we buy a lot of gifts for each other throughout the year to make the point that we remember and care. But the Holidays are about spending time together, eating together or going on a family vacations.
My kids just know it is how our family does things...No problems there. I do not think I should feel forced to spend money on presents and run around the stores like crazy and give and receive bunch of useless things just because someone said it the way it should be done...or more to the point...the retailers are counting on me to shell out some serious cash during this period....
Sometimes I host the dinner, sometimes other family members do...we just take turns.
This year we are going on a vacation over Christmas so we are starting on our cards early and that would be it...

Well this year we are definitely scaling back. I have this friend who makes amazing custom jewelry for a steal. I have two sons and we just had two babies added to the fam in the past few months so I ordered bracelets for all the grandmas with their granchildren's names on charms. I got the grandpa's key chains with their grandkids names as well. I got the aunts with no children bracelets with charms for all their nieces and nephews and I got the new mama's necklaces with their baby's names on them. I ended up getting like 10 pieces of custom jewelry for like $200!! I decided a keepsake that was meaningful and could celebrate all the new additions we have had would mean more than overpriced perfume or stuff that will get stuck in the closet! I haven't quite decided on what to get my boys but whatever it is will be something they want but that they can use for today and the future. :D

We are starting a Jesse tree this season. Threw it we are working our way up in preparation to the coming of our Lord on Christmas Day. We will be preparing our home in anticipation for the Christ Child. We have begun going through our house a taking our extra stuff to a center for the mentally and physically handicapped. They take contributions to sell in their second hand store. We are purchasing less for our family. If we have to clean house just to fit more stuff then obviously we have to much to begin with. My children will be helping to write to our relatives for the holidays and our gifts to Grandparents will be handmade, but tasteful. We are making jewelry, scarves and slippers. We plan on making and decorating cookies like when I was a child. My kids have begun to make all kinds of ornaments. Some of them will be for our tree and some are for gifts. We will celebrate the feast day of St. Nicholas. The kids put out their shoes and receive candy and a small gift in their shoes. We always use candy coins for this as it ties into the life of St. Nicholas. We always like to read "The Best Little Christmas Pageant Ever." We also like the legion of the candy cane and try to incorporate that into Christmas too. One of our favorite activities is to go light looking and caroling. Both activities require lots of hot cocoa, marshmallows, and whipped cream. We spend lots of time in Mass and prayer. During this season our Church life is the highlight.

It's all about the gifts at my house. LOL But I'm also doing the Jesse Tree Advent Devotionals. We have a different ornament for each day. My kids have drawn names also to get each other gifts. They are making some of them themselves. My daughter is making a poem book for their grandparents and my other daughter is making a scrapbook. We have 5 kids and not a lot of money so they aren't getting a lot of presents but they are excited for the gifts that we do have under the tree. HTH... Merry Christmas!!