C., what you seem to not understand is that heavy people *know they are heavy* already. We have to look at ourselves every day in the mirror. We see the number on the scale. We know what size pants we buy, and it's not single-digit and may be in a different department or entirely different store than where our thinner peers shop.
Here's what you don't get - there are A LOT of heavy people out there who do the right things. For whom "baby steps" really don't do anything. Who already eat 1200-1500 calories a day of balanced, real food - whole grains, lean protein, lots of fruits and vegetables, enough water to drown themselves AND exercise and see little to no weight loss. It doesn't mean that we throw our hands and up and resign ourselves to a lifetime of eating cookies while sitting on the couch, but it does mean that we just might choke the next person who suggest sweet potato fries instead of regular fries, because many of us haven't had a carb with dinner in forever anyway.
When I am really, really trying at weight loss, I can sustain a great effort for 6-12 weeks at a time. 1200-1500 calories a day. No artificial sweeteners (good-bye Diet Coke). Working out 6 days a week - three days of strength training either on my own or in a kettle bell boot camp class plus three days of cardio, a mix of running, biking and swimming. And maybe, just maybe, with all of that effort, I'll lose 5 lbs. and my pants will be looser, but not so much that I go down a size. That's a ridiculous amount of effort and discipline for so little reward when it comes to the scale or tape measure.
So for me, exercise is about getting faster and stronger, not about weight loss. In the past two years, I have done two triathlons, five 5k races, a 10k race, and an obstacle course race and weigh 4 pounds more than I did two years ago. I am doing a two-day, 200 mile bike ride in June and wouldn't be surprised at all of training 60 miles of cycling a week yields little to no weight loss. I hope it does, but I won't be disappointed if it doesn't. I now weigh over 200 lbs and wear a size 16 but would bet that I am stronger, faster and healthier now than 10 years ago, when I was 50 lbs lighter and a size 10.
And yes...I have had my thyroid checked from every test available and it's totally normal. I truly think there's a hormone issue at play but don't have the money to pay for an edocrinology work up that insurance won't cover because my bloodwork is all normal. I have great cholesterol, bp, heart rate, triglyceride and blood sugar levels so my doc knows that I'm not making up what I eat. An unhealthy diet shows up in your blood.
You said that you struggled in school. Well guess what, I didn't. You probably worked harder for mediocre grades than I worked for top grades. You probably didn't always try as hard as you could have because the amount of effort you put in was probably way, way more than the results yeilded. I bet that having someone look at a C or B that you got on a test and saying "well if you only studied harder that would be an A" wouldn't have helped you, right? Keep that in mind when you're judging people who are overweight. And keep your comments and advice to yourself, even if it's with family. The only people you should address overweight with is your minor children, because you are in charge of what they eat and how much activity they get. FWIW, my 4 kids are all super slender and active.