Are All Toddlers like My Son?

You need to continually demonstrate his 'inside voice'. In a positive way, not as punishment. So when he yells something, you just repeat it the way you would like him to say it. Then you move on. It takes an incredible amount of repetition.

He screams because he's learned it works. It either gets him positive attention (you think it's cute), or it gets him what he wants.

Step 1) Don't give him a SINGLE thing he's screaming for. Not until he "asks nicely" or "inside voice" or whatever your catch phrase is going to be.

Step 2) Play voice modulation games with him.

Be REALLY REALLY LOUD!!!! then whisper whisper whisper... then be REALLY REALLY LOUD!!! then whisper whisper whisper.

Use a High********** voice, use a _________low voice, High********** voice, __________low voice. ----Medium---- voice. High********* voice.

Singing exercises: Oooooooweeeeeeeeooooooooooaaaaaaaaahhhh, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t! Buhbuhbuhbuh t-t-t-t-t-t-t Sssssssssssssssss

Step 3) Random reward. This is what CEMENTS throwing fits, whining, screaming, etc. It's neurologically hardwired, and it works on adults as well as kids: when you get rewarded sometimes (but not all the time), you will KEEP doing the same things over and over and over trying to get that reward. Aka parent has just HAD it, and buys whatever, or drops what they're doing to "distract" a screaming child... and the next time the child wants something, the scream for it. And the next. And the next. Their "time limit" is the LONGEST time it's ever taken them to "get" what they want. So you NEVER EVER EVER give them what they want when they're throwing a fit over it. It takes apx 6mo-2 years for this effect to wear off after a random reward has been given. ((Note: this is different from NEEDS. Wants and needs being to vastly different things, and they're hardwired into the brain differently))

BUT You can also use this neurological quirk to your advantage. When you son asks nicely (or whatever you're aiming for)... make a BIG freakin deal out of it.... SOMETIMES. Not every time. As randomly as you can make it... and they'll start doing the positive behavior a LOT more often, trying to get the reward, than if you reward them every time.
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Btw.... No. Not all toddlers scream for everything they want (although all toddlers do throw fits over wants, they do it in different ways... deaf parents toddlers will, for example in some cases, just refuse to LOOK at the parent when they're angry.... other kids run away.... other kids lash out physically. Part of it is personality and PART of it is environment / "what annoys the parent the most"). Kids are little scientists... they figure out what works.

no, not all toddlers are like that, my 2 1/2 year old know better than to scream like that, at home or anywhere else. you have to start with discipline early for it to work, so you need to nip this in the bud. take him the the pedi and then to an ENT. maybe he has a bad hearing loss and cant hear himself. i am a little confused by how you are describing him if he never talks and only screams, but it can damage their vocal cords and make bad speech issues when they scream like that. Our 2 1/2 year old has speech therapy, he is speech delayed due to his clefting issues, and they are the ones who told us about the screaming. maybe he is delayed? i would definetely take him to the doctor.

My son is 19 months and has the capability of saying words but he doesn't. He points and grunts and like yours cries for everything. It is a phase because their ability to use words certainly has not caught up with their brain so they do get easily frustrated. Try your best to have patience and redirect/distract him when he starts having a meltdown.

I admit, I have the well behaved public ones, and it takes lots of discipline. Especially for my 3rd, who is now 2. She started way younger than the other two (9 months) with the raging fits. She too was a screamer for tantrums, happiness, just because she felt like it, she was always screaming before we literally trained her not to. She took much more consistency than the other two did. They learned immediately not to do it with discipline, but she put up a fight for a pretty long time. It was finally pretty much nipped by 15 months and I was firm starting at about 1 year.

Even though you don't mind it at home, you do have to teach it there first absolutely consistently in order for it to carry over into public life. PLUS, he's at the age, where kids are smart enough to know that in public you have less recourse, so even if you're firm at home and they don't do it there, they WILL still try it in public until you address it there too. That's when you have to ask yourself what's more important to you, your child's behavior, or the approval of strangers.

If you see a well behaved child in public; 1) They were born with a docile little nature and feel happy out and about (lucky parents) 2) You're catching them at a good time and they may be melting down 5 minutes later or 3) they've been disciplined to learn to behave. For M. it's 3.

To be honest, time outs really won't be comprehended to stop screaming at this age. Especially since kids can scream in time outs. And modeling your own nice talking (don't we all?) or "telling them what you would like them to do or not do" is completely lost on a toddler. You need something much firmer and more immediate.

You wouldn't need to discipline happy screeches (unless you don't want him doing it in inappropriate places, which some kids need to learn-like my third, who defiantly happily screamed -yes she knew better-every time we entered a quiet public place) but definitely any screaming to get his way or as tantrums. The only way to stop that is with discipline. One calm warning for each specific behavior-saying no, screaming, etc, and then immediate firm consequence. It will be much harder as he approaches 2, so now is the time to nip it if you take that approach. Otherwise, you have to just accept it until he outgrows it as natural.

This book is great if you want to go the discipline route, Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson.

Yes all toddlers are like this. You have to remember for the past year (almosttheir hole life) they cry they get whatthey want (fed, held, talked too) this is the only whay they know how to get whatthey want. The fact that we expect them to not use their new cry (scream) is new and will take time to learn. When he screams or as I call it screech I simply cover gentaly their mouth to show this is not how we do it, then in a soft voice I show/tell them how we do it. If they cannot tell M. in words I tell them to quitly show M., and when they do then I tell them what they are asking. (You want a banana? Banana Please? Thank you!) and keep repeating this they get it. Anyone who has a child will remember this stage and the looks and grins you get are out of sympathy and understanding, but we are the first to think they are out of judgment. They are not.

Keep up the good work mom!

get his ears checked. Mine was a constant screamer cause he had hearing issues. WE have gotten him where his hearing loss is lessened and he still screams but not as much. we went through the ear infections not realizing they were there. We got the tubes and he got ear infections any way.which he had wax draining from his tube stopped by the ear infection. so his tube was blocked. we got the ear infections taken care of after 4 rounds of antibiotics andthe wax removed. Don't get M. wrong he still talks very loudly but he doesn't constantly scream like he used to.

His normal volume is a raised volume. If he can't hear himself in their mind you can't hear them either. And he loved to pound before we got his ears better. CONSTANT POUNDING WITH ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. YOu will tend to learn to tune it out but it will bother others. Before the docs got his ears better (not right yet) he was the loudest child I had ever seen before in my life. But fair warning if I am right and he has hearing issues when they get him fixed you will still talk at a raised level. which will scare him at first till you learn to adjust. Does he respond to you when you talk normally? does he ignore you so it seems? I would definately check his ears it maybe he can't hear himself.

I was told kids with cochlears can talk as long as the batteries are good but if their batteries are dead they can't hear themselves and will resort back to sign. They can only talk if they can hear themselves. Definately check the kid for fluid most of the time fluid is asimple fix. My oldest was an easy fix my youngest is a small book in himself. So make an appt with an ent and go from there. You can't discipline this if he can't hear. It is not his fault if he has hearing issues. Once the hearing issues are dealt with you can discipline more.

ps the lying on the ground screaming might be a fustration tantrum from in ability to communicate. Mine used to do that till he could hear. He would just lay down. not necessarily scream just lay there cause he couldn't communicate his needs. is he doing this when he needs something as opposed to just a 2 yr old temper tantrum? There is a difference between a fustration tantrum and a temper tantrum.

1st comes screaming, then comes whining. (just shoot M. now....I'm drowning in memories!) & yes, he's screaming too much & it will end up delaying his speech development.

Okay, here's what I did/do with my kids/daycare kids: my index finger goes up over my mouth, I make the "sssh" sound, & with direct eye contact I say, "when you can stop screaming & talk to M., I will help you". After a little bit of that, the kids learn that when the finger goes up- they have to stop screaming to move forward.
If the screaming doesn't stop, then I use timeout. The child stays in timeout until the screaming/crying comes to an end. Then we talk about needs/wants/issues. But the child has to be calm to proceed.
My rule of thumb is usually 1 minute for each year of age...but with this behavior modification technique, sometimes it takes longer (unfortunately :) ) Hope this helps....

Yeah, he's at a tough age. He is starting to be able to communicate, but can't communicate everything - thus, the screaming.

Here's what we've done. In a quiet, calm voice: "I can't understand your words when you scream. Please speak more quietly so I can understand you." You'll probably have to repeat this a few times before he even notices that you're speaking. Refuse to "understand" what he wants when he's screaming. (Most of the time you'll probably have an idea of what he wants, but don't give it to him when he screams for it.) Remain calm, be patient, give him time to calm down, and figure out a different way to ask for what he wants. When he is able to more quietly indicate what he wants, articulate it for him - in a quiet, calm voice: "You would like more milk, please? More milk, please. I would be happy to get you more milk." And be prepared for screaming for awhile - it's going to frustrate him A LOT that the his primary form of communication is no longer working. (You have to hand it to him, his choice does work - adults move really fast when a baby starts screaming at the top of his lungs.) You can reinforce what's going on by talking about "inside voice" and "outside voice." "No screaming inside, that's too loud for inside, it hurts my ears when you're so loud. Quiet voice inside." etc. etc.

Kids that young aren't "behaving badly" in the sense of "doing something that they know is wrong to get attention." They are just trying to communicate. You can help him learn how to communicate in calmer, quieter ways. He will still scream - kids scream sometimes. But if you remain calm, and give him new ways of asking, and reward the quieter asking with what he wants, he will learn.

Good luck, this is a really tough age for both you and your kid. Soon he will have more words and be able to use them to tell you what he needs and wants.