Are All 7/8 Year Old Girls like This???

I have had some similar problems with my oldest, who is now nine. She may be needing some one on one time with you. It sounds like there are a lot of other children around. You might try "filling her emotional tank" so to speak by taking her alone with you on errands or take her to the library or mall once a week.

How is the in home day care going? I have considered this myself, but I'm wondering how you manage picking kids up from school unless you drive a huge van. What are some of the pros and cons?

J.

J.

A., no, not all girls are like that, but it is normal. My 6 yr old is quite a drama queen, while my almost 8 yr old is calm as can be. She probably just hasn't matured enough to realize a proper way to express her frustrations, and those statements are just attention-grabbers. I wouldn't call attention to those statements, then maybe she can find some new ones! As far as Hannah Montana, I watch the show with my girls, and she doesn't have an attitude. As a matter of fact, she is very respectful and loving toward her father on the show. Overall, the show probably has nothing to do with the attitudes of young girls... they are just developing personalities and their little bodies are maturing. The process inside is chaotic, so I guess we just have to be very patient until they reach college! :)

My daughter is 7 and is the EXACT same way! We've been yelling at her about her attitude for the last few months! She told me that she learned it from Hannah Montana (her favorite!), so I told her that if she doesn't clean it up, then she wont be able to watch that show anymore. Another mom on this site gave me a really good piece of advice and told me to implement an "attitude jar". She said that she puts 10 dimes in a jar, so she has the potential to earn up to a dollar a day. Then, for every bit of attitude that she throws, she has to take out a dime. I havn't started this yet, but I think it's a good idea because it will hopefully help her recognize exactly what/when the attidude is. I hope this helps. Keep my girl's attitude in your prayers and I'll keep yours in mine! Let's hope it's just a phase! :)

I don't know how girls are, since I have two boys, but this sounds exactally like my 8 year old son. My older son never acted like this, but youngest is a drama king. We have to go through his fits everyday, "You don't love me", or, "You don't want me to have friends?" But, he is the more loving of my two sons, so I guess you have to take the good with the bad!

My soon to 8 year old is not like that, she's actually very well behaved, I haven't had any problems with her attitude since she was about 5. But my other daughter, 6 years old, has the attitude you are describing. No matter what we do for her she doesn't seem to be very pleased with anything. I keep repeating to her how that behavior is unacceptable, and keep reminding her of the rules in our home, if she brakes them by having this bad attitude she is not allowed to do some of the things she enjoys. It doesn't work all the time, but I see this as a phase that she will at one point grow out of.

The other posts are good ideas but also remember that you have to teach boundaries with her. She is old enough to know what she is doing and she is trying to manipulate you. Obviously it is working for her. She has to have consequences for her poor choices. My daughter is almost 11 and we are sooo experiencing the hormones, moods and different relationship issues. But, when it started, I had to really work with her. She liked to storm out of a room, slam a door, throw things in her room, etc.
So, after she calmed herself down and was more rational, we talked about appropriate ways to manage her anger and those feelings. I gave her 'permission' to be mad at me and not like all of my decisions but that didn't mean that saying ugly and hateful things were ok. I have taught her how even though they 'don't mean it', words can't be taken back.
It only gets more interesting as they get along with this stuff and I am no expert but boundaries and consistency are key factors here.
I have always provided about the same respect for her that I expect from her. I don't yell at her without cause, be rude just because I had a bad day, say mean and hurtful things and so on. I do that with her and all her friends too. It's not about my "being her friend and not her parent" but about mutual respect. The old adage of treat people how you want to be treated is still a great foundation.

Hope this helps. Stay strong.

When my girls would say things like that, I would treat is as a "lie" statement. It obviously isn't true, therefore it's a lie. It's a lie made up either in her mind, which is an extremely destructive pattern of thought. Often the biggest enemy to ourselves is the lies we believe from our own thoughts. I took statements like these seriously and addressed them not as an attack against me, or as a drama statement, but as a lie.
So, I say, "The statement you just made is a lie. Do you really believe in your heart that I don't care about you? - You are the most precious person in the world to me." I wouldn't whine as I said this. I would raise my voice. I would simply make the statements matter of factly. That usually would end their little tirade right then...and also planted seeds in their hearts that I do indeed care about them.

I hope that helps.
T. "Ta-Dah Mom" Camp

Welcome to the joys of early puberty and socializing w/ kids who have older siblings! I have a 13 yr old son and a 10 yr old daughter, and we have had to work through these same issues ourselves. I usually resort to the "I'm sorry that you feel that way. When you choose to treat us with respect, you may come out of your room. Until then, you are choosing to isolate yourself from the family." Then go on with your activities w/o her. I also make sure that the kids know that they are the only ones who have the experience of having us as parents, and that we are a TEAM.

Above all, you can't let her get to you. You must stay calm and logical/rational, and let her know that as much as you love her, you don't like how she is choosing to behave. I also use the image of "Eye Spy" book. Whatever you look for, you will find. Try to catch her being good as often as possible, and have her think about her ability to find the good in a situation.

Then again, getting enough sleep is often a culprit in our house, and allergies can bring the beast out, too. Good luck!

B. B.

Wow, what you described sounds exactly like my 5 1/2 yr old daughter, who is an only child, so she's not picking it up from older siblings. She does watch Hannah Montana, but as another mom said, we watch it together. I actually enjoy the show, as kids shows go. I have seen very little to be concerned with on that show. Honestly, I've seen more positives than negatives on HM.

I am starting to think my daughter is just a natural born drama queen. She's stayed at home with either me, my hubby, or my mom since she was born, until she went to Kindergarten. However, she was like this before K, and DOESN'T act like this at school, only at home.

We have just started a Good Choices chart along with explaining how SHE is the one who chooses to start an argument or say things like she does. She knows if she chooses not to have an attitude, and continues for the rest of the day without one, she will get a sticker. Not much, I know, but my daughter loves stickers!! It has helped some, but there have been a few nights with no stickers!