Please forgive the vagueness of this question, but I just got off the phone with a colleague who just suffered two unexpected tragedies within the week. I want to send her flowers, and I just want to make sure I'm not sending the wrong kind. My colleague has Greek and Italian heritage, and I know she goes to church, but I've never known what kind of church. (She could be Protestant, too, for all I know.) In this conversation, I couldn't figure out an un-weird way to ask about her religious affiliation.
So, I just want to make sure I'm sending her the right kind of flowers (and that I'm not sending the wrong type/color of flowers). In my religion, it's more customary to bring food than send flowers in these circumstances, and I guess I get a little paranoid about accidentally saying/sending the wrong thing.
Thanks!!
I'm Italian and I don't think there's a "wrong" type of flower for what you've mentioned. You can also send a dish garden of plants, a basket of pansies, or a peace lily if you're looking for something that lasts a little longer than a cut flower arrangement.
I'm sorry for your friends loss.
If they are Greek Orthodox - there is not a traditional flower - however there is a traditional closing - so when you sign the card or note it should say "May His Or Her) Memory Be Eternal" - and yes, it's not a mistake - each of the words should start with a Capital letter.
If you want to do something different - you can also send a donation to the church for the Diocese to use in discretion...again...May His or Her Memory Be Eternal..
good luck!
Im russian orthodox ( which is very similar to greek orthodox) Funeral flowers are the same as any others, and Im sure that food would be appericated by the family as well. Maybe you could ask the family the name of her church and than look it up to get the actual religion.
It's never a bad idea to send food if you are more comfortable with that. it's helpful, thoughtful and more personal, IMO.
Well I'm Greek and as far as I know there is no "wrong" thing to do! It's very sweet of you to think of her. We Greeks like to do it up big, so likely food would be welcome too, or just about anything! Do whatever feels comfortable to you! I hope your friend is okay!
CAn you call a Greek or Italian florist? Everyone is saying there is no right and wrong, but I get your reluctance. For instance, white is our wedding color, but it's the Chinese Funeral color. Cultural and religious reverance is important, especially in somber times. I found this on google.
Greek Orthodox
The Greek Orthodox Church has many traditions—many of them surrounding funeral services. Members of the Greek Orthodox religion believe that at the moment of death, the deceased receive a partial judgment—they get a preview of heaven and hell. On the final judgment day, the deceased are sent to either heaven or hell.
At the deceased’s funeral services, mourners are expected to wear navy blue or black, formal clothing. If mourners choose to visit the grieving family before the service, tradition requires that they say, “May you have an abundant life,” or “May their memory be eternal.” In addition, making contributions to a pre-determined charity or fund is appropriate. During the actual services, mourners must stand at the appropriate times and pay respects to the family. Funerals are also typically open casket. As a result, both members and non-members of the Greek Orthodox faith are expected to bow in front of the casket and kiss the object (cross or otherwise) resting on the deceased’s chest. Later, at the internment, each mourner places a flower on the casket. Afterward, family and friends may head to a restaurant, church hall or private home for what is customarily called a “mercy meal.”
Other traditions include that widows wear black clothing for up to two years after the death of their spouse and that a memorial service for the deceased be held on the Sunday closest to the 40-day mark after death. Annual memorial services may follow on the anniversary of the death.
I don't think there's a wrong kind of flower, but I'm a big fan of Peace Lillies for funerals. They're not overly expensive, and they're simple, elegant little plants - for any religion.
I'm Catholic and will tell you that there are no "right or wrong" flowers to send. If you call the local florist and tell them that it is for a funeral and about how much you want to spend they will design something appropriate for the occassion. Check the obituary to find out the location of the services and what the family has requested.
Having recently had several deaths in our immediate family, I would suggest sending a potted plant/dish garden b/c the family can keep them after. We have several really beautiful dish gardens from my FIL's funeral and they are a subtle reminder of him around our home. Food is ALWAYS welcome. After my grandfather's funeral, my sister's in-laws (follow that?) showed up at our house (we had 10 people staying with us) with trays of food and several bottles of wine. I literally burst into tears b/c it was incredibly kind- drove 40 minutes to do so- and so incredibly welcome!
