Anyone Have Any Ideas on How to Help a Ten Year Old Boy to Control His Bowels

Sounds like it could be what has been termed "withholding". I have not experienced it with mine, but have friends who experienced it with their children. Please lookup some information or ask the pediatrician about it.

First of all I would get control of the older brother. Some teasing & picking on is normal, but a lot is unacceptable. Especially if he's picking on him about this. Secondly, how does he and boyfriend get along? Each family has to make decisions for what is best for them, but if this boyfriend is fairly new and he's already in your home, it may be making your son nervous in that it was quick & he's just wondering if/when he'll leave. I in no way mean to sound harsh, but I've seen this scenario many times with other families. He's not your sons dad and he (your son) may be reluctant to see him that way. It's a quirky age for sure.

Thirdly, he may well have a medical condition to where he doesn't feel the urge to move his bowels until it's too late. I would have him checked by a doctor to make sure that is not the issue and if it is the treatment could save him a lot of misery & embarrassment, not to mention laundry.

Best of luck to you. I too have a 10 year old and that is a precious age. An age when they should just be boys out running & playing & building forts, not dealing with things like this. So I hope you find a solution soon.

Look into OTHER possiblities. Have him speak with a trusted psychologist or his MD who might be able to identify the root cause. Also, has he battled constipation during his lifetime? If so, many kids try and "hold it" b/c they associate pain with their bowel movement. I would also consider this next questions....Is there ANY possibility (no matter how small) that he might have been abused/molested at some point during his life?
Hoping this helps!

Hello A..
My middle son would do exactly the same thing.I did not think that there was anything seriously wrong with him but took him to see our family doctor anyway.
It turned out,and this is not uncommon,especialy in little boys,that he was just being lazy.
Our Doctor was a very understanding man and he sat there and spoke to him and told him that it was not a very healthy thing to do and on a personal level just not very nice.
It did the trick.He never did it again.
Best of luck
A.

First of all take him to the dr. make sure there is not a medical reason he is doing this. If no medical reason, tell him, "from this point forward, you need to go to the bathroom when you feel like going. IF you mess in your pants you will clean it up from the bathroom in the toilet then to the laundry and then the dryer back to the drawer" Seems like a lot huh? Well soon he will see how much work goes into doing his laundry and how much time playing he will lose if he messes in his pants. Don't let him play or watch tv while he is cleaning his undies from start to finish!

Also, get your older son in control. Picking on his brother is also unacceptable and he should be protecting him and teaching him, not hurting him! Also, how well does he know the new boyfriend? Maybe you should date him for a while before you expose your kids to someone new that you barely know yourself. Don't mean to sound harsh, just think of your kids. If they see men coming and going they aren't going to respect women and relationships in hte future.

My sister's son did this (he's 8, with no "big brother" or "new boyfriend" problems that may have affected him). It turned out that he was constipated! My sister assumed he was going every day, but he wasn't. He was constipated, and basically his bowel would just fill up until it "leaked". He couldn't feel it! She put him on something like Miralax or Metamucil to give him more fiber (for the short-term), and changed his diet to include more fruits and veggies, to help him stay regular.

I would take him to his ped and get him checked to mkae sure there isnt a problem first then if not i would get some stool softeners for him to take daily alot of kids hold thier bowels because they are afraid it will hurt if you get the meds and he sees it wont hurt anymore maybe it will help....atleast that is what they did with my brother

Could be allergic to dairy. Try eliminating dairy or using Lactaid. Hope it helps.

J.

put him on a schedule. if he has to stop what he is doing, because it is 3 or 4 or what ever time you make him stop and use the bathroom, he will get used to always going at the same time. but you may consider having him tested for crones. one of the big problems with crones, is an inability to hold your bowel. it hits all of the sudden and you dont have time to get to a rest room. i have herd of many adults with crones who keep a bucket and a stock of wash cloths in there cars, just in case. he may also be having sever cramping, and he just never mentions it because he always has it and doesn't notice that it is not normal. another possibility would be IBS, but that is very uncommon in males, especially young boys. it is very common in woman who have had children. take him to a doctor, and have him tested.

Consult your son's pediatrician asap. There may be underlying problems of either physical or emotional nature. Sometimes the bowels are what they feel is the only thing they have total control of, which happened recently to one of my grandsons.
I know that often times we think our kids are doing okay, but there might be some resentments, anger, confusion, or confidence issues, just to name a few. Just to be sure, I would recommend getting a professional opinion before it escalates further or potentially causes your son serious health problems.

D. in NC

I am a mom of a son who had the same trouble. There is a condition that alot of kids have which is encopresis it is just a form of constipation.
Some tips that I recomend is encouraging him to set a schedule and stick to it. Such as have him to go to the bathroom every morning at the same time, set a timer so he will spend 10 min on the comode, this sounds odd but it will help him get his body on a secheduel.
He is probably constipated now so give him an over the counter laxative to get his bowel cleaned out, once he is cleaned out then it will be easier to get him on a scheduel.
Most kids just dont take the time to sit still and "finish" they go a little and then back up and off to play again.

a litle about me: I am a proud mom of 3 kids, a nurse that works for a pediatrician. 33 yr old

the best way to assist without taking away that decision for him is to allow time for bathroom breaks. it sounds like there are so many other things he wants to do that the bathroom can just wait. i do it for my 8 yr old when he would have accidents and a good time for me to say go to the bathroom would be an hour after eating or right before or after we head out to go somewhere. hope this helps. it also stops accidents in bed if that should ever happen. i always reinforced what my son was doing could also be continued after he was done. sometimes children do not want to miss out on activities going on or stop something they are doing. good luck.

It may be a problem that your son has no control over, so try and keep from getting mad at him. I Know how hard that can be when a child is constently going poop in his pants, but can use the bathroom. With that being said, There are some medical conditions that cause problems like you have described it could be IBS or simply his pelvis could be out of place, which can be corrected with Chiropratic care. I myself have problems with not know i have to go untill the last minute. There were times when I was afraid that i would not make it and then I got Chiropratic care and talked with the Dr. about it and found that my pelvis was tillted from a fall I had years before he begain adjusting me and the problem has gotten much better almost completely gone now. I hope that this helps you and your son. I will be praying for you both.

My twin 11 year old nephews had a bad problem with peeing the bed, we tryed Everything...taking away drinks from supper on, even blatter pills from there doctor and nothing worked. Come to find out it rooted from stress. The doctors said that stress can do alot to children, including being unable to controll there bowels, even to just not let the signal get to there brain letting them have the urge to go. I would talk to your son and a doctor to make sure that like my nephews he is not keeping anything thats bothering him from you, or maybe its something that he may not relies is effecting him. Since then my nephews have been in counsleing to help them on the things that was bothering them, and each trip its getting better and better. Less wet sheets!:)Hope this helps!Good luck.