Anyone Have a Passive Aggresive 4 Year Old?

My four year old daughter acts like this sometimes. I think it's a power-trip. "How much can I push her buttons?..." I find that imposing (or threatening) some real consequences helps. For example: no Wii, no TV, no bedtime story, no playdate, no dessert. This usually gets her to shape up. But she may not be as tough as your little guy.

Try not to get upset (that's what he wants) and just calmly assert your authority. Good luck. I understand your frustration!

No matter what age, kids can be like that. Me too, when I was a kid. It is not unusual.

Anyway, so when my kids do that, what I do is:
I TELL them "I KNOW you are trying to get me mad, or trying to manipulate me. It will not work. When you can cooperate and be a nice member of the family and nice to Mommy... you tell me. I am going away now." and then I walk out of the room.
I CALL them on it, bluntly. I don't pussy-foot around. I tell them, I KNOW what they are doing and I am not fooled, by it.
My kids get all 'shocked' they can't fool me and that I KNOW what they are doing. Why mince words.

But sure, if my kids are really in trouble, for something that is beyond their control, that is different. Then I am there.

You just explain to him, how to express himself and with what words. Or even to say "I need help" or "I made a mistake..." or "Sorry Mom but I did such and such..." etc.
Even... adults and/or Husbands... could learn that. :)

And yes, teach him being angry is okay, but HOW to say it, with WORDS.
Practice it.
Role-play with him.
Little kids need that, to know how. Otherwise they do not know how, automatically, by themselves.

all the best,
Susan

Yep.....but mine is 3years old. Learned it from his father.....arrr.

DR. Sears has some excellent advice on this... click on the "helping the angry child" link too:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

My daughter can sometimes seem like a 4 year old teenager (ha ha). My interpretation is that she's just pushing her boundaries once again. I need to remain calm, make sure she has clear and understood boundaries, and we don't have near as many issues. I do think it's somewhat normal with children who are learning and growing... we just need to calmly guide and teach them (sounds so easy!!!)