Any Tricks to Get My 3 Boys to Go to Bed at Night!!

A., I would not have t.v. or video games in their rooms. Also, if you are sending them all to bed at the same time, I'd put an end to that too. An 11 year old doesn't need to go to bed when a 3 or 6 year old does. If you spread out the bedtimes so that each child gets an appropriate amount of sleep for his age and the older ones have the privilege of a later bedtime that I believe in, less of a problem. NO play, no wrestling. Put the 3 y.o to bed, at say 8:00. The 6 can go to bed once the 3 is asleep, so around 8:30-8:45, which is plenty late enough and there shouldn't still be kids his age playing outside. If the 11 y.o. is going to bed at 8:30 right now, that's just too early for a middle schooler especially over the summer. He shouldn't be going to bed when a 3 year old does. Send him in around 9:00-9:30. Good luck

What about removing their TV and video games from their rooms with the understanding that once they start going to bed when they are told, they can get them back? Also, do you have the windows closed? Maybe some soft music to dull the noises of their friends outside, and to lull them to sleep? That works for my older one. I also used to use a fan when my boys were really young to dull any noises. Good luck!

We have 5 boys, 9,7,6,4 and almost 2...my 9yr old has his own room, 6&7 share, 4&2 share...every night after dinner we start our nightime routine...we play a family game(from soccer/badmitten to UNO)then we start showers and then it's tv time(my kids only watch first thing in morning and last thing before bed...about an hour a day max)during commercials they take turns with the brushing of the teeth/bathroom runs...after the show is over...bedtime...kisses and hugs and a sip of water for everyone and off to bed... I let my oldest read for half an hour but for everyone else it's lights out...sometimes the little guys go to bed at 730 but since they still nap and it's summer they've all been staying up til 8...I don't know if this is helpful but this is our routine and for the most part we've never had issues...I think it's basically just about finding a routine that works for you and sticking to it and all of my kids have gotten out of bed to tell us something or whatever at some point but we make them go back to bed and we tell them we'll talk about it in the morning(and I'll write myself a note so I remember to)...hope this helps...

Hello A.,
Good Luck!
I would remove the TV from their room(s) and the video games also. If they are not minding you (sneaking) they are not deserving of something nice to play with.

You might also cut out the snack - calories before bedtime might be lending a negative impact on their systems - keeping still might be tough! Warm milk might help and/or be a good substitute.

Are you in an apartment? Can you request their friend's parents to keep their children from running amok over your need for quiet? (I'm thinking bedtime is 7 or 8 PM?) It isn't unreasonable, though it might be embarrassing for the boys - you might say it is for the 3 year old to save the older two some problems with their friends.

You might actually have to invest a little time to help them learn how to go to sleep more quickly - either sitting in the room, or just quietly doing household tasks right outside their doors, or talking about what it is like to go to sleep (and wake up). You might learn something new that might help you figure all this out.

Good Luck.
M.

First, remove the tv from their rooms. Kids who watch tv while trying to fall asleep tend to have a hard time sleeping because they become over stimulated before bed when they should be winding down. Remove the tv and you eliminate the video game problem as well. Second, start a consistant bed time routine. Start with the youngest, get him into pj's, read him a story or talk about his day. Then the next one. Spend a little one on one time with each boy. They could just be looking for some attention from mom and negative attention is still attention. It may be harder to get the older one to comply but if your consistant then they will be able to know what's coming and it makes bedtime easier. Sit them down and talk to them. Tell them that since bedtime isn't working that we are going to try something new. And if after a week or 2 of them "behaving" then they can have a "treat". Even put up a chart so the older boys can see how close they get to their goal.

We used to play a game (no prizes given); The last one dressed for bed was a monkey's uncle or rotten egg.

We played the same game for getting dressed in the morning.

The funniest part of this my youngest son used to get up super early and get dressed.

You might want to use the same game for the first one to go to sleep.

D.
I'm 60 years old, been married to the same man for 38 years, I have two grown sons and a daughter-in-law.

It must be so much fun for them to see you get so frustrated every night!
1. Take the tv out of the room. Aside from the fact that it is calling them to watch and play when you are away, studies have shown that rooms are more conducive to sleep when there is no tv.
2. put them to bed, turn off the lights and sit in a chair until they fall asleep. It will be a pain for a while, but then they will change the pattern of going to bed and acting like monkeys for awhile to going to bed and settling down. If you need reinforcement, you and your husband both can sit in the room. Let them know you mean business. You should have them back in control within a week.

Good luck!

I agree with some other suggestions to remove the TV from their room. My boys have tvs in their rooms, but if they are caught watching it after put to bed the tvs come out for a week. Also regarding the video games, have them brought into the dinning room or kitchen at night.

Put them to bed separately. There are a number of years between them. Possible your 3 yr old is overtired where your 11 yr old really isnt ready for bed at the same time as your overtired 3 yrs old. Depending on thier activities for the day (the harder they play - outside, sports, activities - the earlier they will be ready for bed - or at least that always rang true for my boys). Put them to bed 1/2 or an hour apart. My boys are 11 and 16 and even though they have separate rooms (upstairs) we run into the same problem if we put them to bed at the same time. Its summer so I will let my 11 yr old stay up later and because of his work schedule my 16 yr old may go to bed earlier - so I put one of them in my bed (downstairs). Then when we are ready to go to bed we walk him up.

Hope this helps.

Get the tv and video games out of their room. No child
should have a tv in their room. Gl.

Dear A.,
Your own best suggestion is putting the 3- and 6-year old together in the same room. You have a bedtime routine - good job. And some consequenses are in place. As a 25-year veteran Mom, my suggestion would be to put the 3yo to bed first, spending 15 minutes quality time with him. Once that is accomplished, put the 6yo to bed, again spending about 15 min doing this. It's now been half an hour and 2 are down. Let the 11 yo stay up for another hour, giving him time to himself without the younger ones around. Most likely, he'll do something on his own, giving you and hubby some time alone. With new found freedom, he may even help you put the other 2 to bed, feeling like the big brother. It's very likely he could be the instegator in your bedtime bedlam. At 11, he should not be expected to go to bed at the same time as his younger brothers. This causes resentment.
Give it a try. It should work. Good luck, W.

I'm right there with you. I have two boys, 4 and 7. Their case is a little different. They need me to lay in there room until they fall asleep. Then if I leave to go into my room, they sense it and come in my room. Granted, it's just me there but this has to stop. It's exhauting and taking a toll on my health because I don't get enought sleep. I never realized just how inportant sleep is. So I'm sorry I have no advice but I do want you to know you're not alone and I'm curious to see what people reply. Thanks and Good luck.
H. AKA 'Sleepless In Hamilton Square'

hi A.!

i have one thought for you; get the book "1-2-3 Magic" and get the video too, and get it today! this is an amazing and simple discipline and behavior system for 2-12 year olds that i just got turned on to a couple of weeks ago and it is working WONDERS in my house.

my son is only 3 and my daughter is 17 months but my son was acting out like mad lately in all kinds of ways, and i could not only see terrible aggressive behavior patterns starting in him, but i also saw myself losing control of my kids and my household, and worst, my temper! we went to a pediatric psychologist for help and he said that we have a wonderful, bright son, who needs boundaries, and that we are loving parents who need tools. he believes in this system and we decided to try it. EVERYTHING here has turned around for the better in the past month.

this system is all about two things; one, unapologetically taking control of your household and your children, and two, calmly staying in control. the directions for using this program are so simple you will not believe it wil work, but it WILL work if you do it exactly as the book says, calmly, 100% of the time. it will tell you exactly what to do in every case, and it will describe exactly the kind of scenario you are struggling with.

we got the book on Amazon used for 4$. what could it hurt to try it?

good luck to you,
J.

I stagger bed timnes for my 3 boys.

M 12 year old goes INTO his bed at 8-830pm, TV is off at 9pm
I programmed it to automatically turn off at that time.
If he dared to sneak, I would simply disconnect the game and remove it for a month.NO EXCEPTIONS.

If he 6 year old shares his room, he would get a 730 bedtime.
no tv, no nothing. While the older one, was bathing, or occupied another way in a diffrent room.

I would put my 3 year old to sleep in my room and later move him into his bed.
-------------------------

In my house the 2 little ones share and my oldest has his own room.He goes to sleep at 9 NO EXCEPTION , no PLAYING, NO sneaking.

MY littlest gets put down first while the middle one spends time with daddy.

after the baby goes to sleep, my 3 year old and I lay in my bed and watch a few minutes of TV, never a kids show, something he would find boring,
30 minutes of that and he is usually asleep, if not we turn the TV off, and I lay next to him, for another 30 minutes or so til he falls asleep.and I leave him there til I go to bed,

separating them makes it easier.alot less distractions.
Ifthe big one argues, just stick to your guns, and remove the disraction, don't just threaten it.DO IT.

Lights out, at 9, if not remove the bulb.

Good luck

M

Stick to your Guns! And stick to the Rules! You made them so it shouldn't be to hard to keep them, right???...Easiesr said than done! :-) However, with that being said...here's a couple of suggestions: Let them know in the morning that tonight you will all go to bed at a designated time, also let them know what needs to be done before that bedtime, whether its dinner, homework, bathtime, playtime, etc. Give them ample time to complete their routine, and then take away the games, unplug the TV/Computers & lights out. If needs be read a book to the youngest, say a prayer or briefly talk about the day's events with the boys, put them at ease and they will know its bedtime and you mean it. Its not going to work right away, so be patient - even if it means you having to sit in their room until they fall alseep - at least the first couple of nights - and you know it will pay off!!! Every night - even when I forget - my kids be sure to say "Good Nigth Mom, I love you, sleep tight & don't let the bed bugs bite!", as simple & silly as it is - they know That's it, the day has ended and its time for bed for everyone!

I would take the tv and video games out of their room. Perhaps when you can trust them at night they can have them back. If you have those things in their room because you like to corral them out of the rest of the house then buy a rolling home entertainment cart and take it out at night. You will still have the wrestling and whispering and playing to contend with. Maybe you could take that time to read for 1/2 hour or so in the hallway to make sure they get to sleep?

A., first hiya, i'm a mom with 4 boys and they all go this, my system was to ignore them and not respond when they refused to go to sleep, i did take things out of the room like the tv and or radio's. Your kids are trying to get a rise out of you and its working cause you are letting it get to you (smile) I incorporated my oldest son to help me, his younger siblings looked to him when they were acting out on me and I explained that i needed his help for a bit and he started telling them when i got to the point of loosing it that cmon guys lets go to sleep before she has a cow........laffing now. but it helped, i also talked to all my sons and told them that no matter what they were still getting up at the usual time no matter how much sleep they did or didn't get. And I would wake them up no matter what and after a bit they got the hint.
I hope that helps but if not place a cotton ball in each ear and don't show that it bothers you. good luck
mother of 6 in NY

First, remove the tv and video games or at least take the hand set for the video games out of their rooms at night and unplug the tv. Have a consequence for not staying in bed quietly too!

second, watch "Supernanny" acording to her there are ways of stopping the fight and getting them to sleep. (She also has a help book out, your local library may have or can get you a copy)

Third, what time are they going to bed? My daughter now 7yo was having a hard time going to sleep and was driving me crazy!!! I relized that 7pm was good before but too early now. Also if she goes outside and runs around the fresh air helps her to sleep.

Finaly try putting the two youngest to bed first and then the oldest a while later. I am learning fast about the age difference and the problem it can cause.

I too will be checking back because I still can't get the 2yo to nap early enough that she goes to bed a decent hour!!!! A.

I have two boys ages 8 and 10 and they have enough energy that if you put them on a treadmill hooked to a generator they could be the alternative energy this country is looking for!

That said, the only think that works for me is a "yoga" type routine. I sit on the side of their bed have them lay straight eyes closed and I tell them to think about their feet, then their toes, their shins, their calf, their knee....as I say the parts I touch them lightly on that body part. After I say 3 or 4 parts I say "leet them release" and then go up their body. Talk slowly and softly. It lets them unwind, feel at peace while I am giving them my time and they like that too.

In the begining it takes longer than just sending them to bed but after a while it gets shorter and more efficient. Also, you must start with the youngest and allow the older guys to get the benefit of extra time because they are older.

Good luck......boys are crazy aren't they? Valium is tempting too, isn't it?!? (kidding)

L.

I have 2 girls aged 5 and 7.

In May when the sun was setting later, and shedding enough light around the blackout shades to keep my girls tossing around long after my good night kisses, I began a ritual where I would lay on the floor in their room. I use that time for meditation and Lord knows I need it after dealing with those two energizer bunnies all day! My presence keeps them quiet, and if they don't I shush them. Within minutes the tossing stops and they'll drop off.

After a few weeks I thought that I had gotten them used to dropping off in a lighter room at the new summer bedtime of 8:30 and could go back to stories, kisses and then leave. But the shinanigans started again. My girls asked me to lie on the floor again. I guess it makes them feel comforted as they drop off. So I'm back to having a built in mediation time for me. As soon as I hear soft snores I am free to finish up all those things that need get done without having to yell "get back in the bed!!!"

Have them give you the video games every night before bed. Make it part of the routine like brushing their teeth. You should also either take the tv out of the room or take the power cord when you get the games. Make sure they know they are not being punished and that they will get everything back in the morning, unless you actually have to move the tv out of the room. If moving the tv or taking the power cord is not an option you could switch off the circuit breaker to that room every night. Sit outside the room everynight until they nearly asleep. Eventually they will realize you mean business and you won't need to be there.

A., I know it's hard to send my kids to bed at their scheduled "school" times in the summer because it is light out so much later. We adjust accordingly for that.
But, yes, absolutely get the TV and video games out of where they sleep....
Also, try varying bed times for each. The 3-year-old 1st, etc. with the hope that he's asleep before the next ones bedtime...
I also use a fan for "white noise" in the kids' room.
Nothing works 100%, so good luck with all the suggestions,
B.

A.,

You can get them into a wind down ritual. TV before bed is not part of that. Quiet reading to themselves or being read to... Consequences if they don't listen. But you must be resolved because they can read your lack of resolve. Tough at first but works!

Oils are a special part of our bedtime ritual, even for my 12 year old. We use essential oils that are therapeutic grade. The compounds in certain plant oils are relaxing to the nervous system and work wonderfully with kids. Mine even ask for them now.

If interested let me know and I can help. You can learn more at S.-healingoils.com

Blessings,
S.