Any Suggestions on How to Stop Breastfeeding My 2-Yo in a Non Traumatizing Way?

Hi S.~
My little princess (still is to this day) too was WELL into her 2nd year of life (wink wink). To the point ALL of my friends were giving me grief about it. I knew it was time to stop, but once I made up my mind, it worked beautiful.... It is your body and you have the right to it. You have given her the best gift you can for the amount of time she needs it. I work in this field and it took my peds to remind me that it was interferring with her normal intake of food. So I went away for the weekend. I did a lot of cabbage and antihestimines at night and it dried me right up. When I got back home, I told her that she had dranked all of my milk and that there just was nothing there. I even let her take a 5 second attempt and she pulled away in disbelief. When she would cry and attempt to nurse I would just say "remember you dranked it all gone" but I do have some special cuddles I can give you and only you." Eventually she got to the point she would run and say "I need special cuddles" and that became her new comfort. It worked like a charm. Just to let you know though, your husband has to be totally on board. Mine was soooo supportive. He was available if she has responded with a melt down and gave her very gentle reminders otherwise.

At two they underestand cause and effect and really understand the concept of something being done, gone, finished or complete. At two I do not recommend weaning, I recommend cold turkey. She is not nursing for nutrition, she is nursing for comfort. It is EMOTIONAL and not Physical. I do not think you shoud tole with emotions. Finds a substitute acceptable to you both.She will be fine and you will be too. Good luck. Great job in nursing her for immune purposes this long and for being an awesome Mommy not wanting it to be tramatic. (((HUGS))).

Hi S.,
I've nursed my daughter until she was 2 as well,what I found worked great for me!I've put someting called no-bite (you can find it at walgreens) on my nipples and around it!It's actually made for kids that bite their fingernails,it's natural and only tastes bitter.I used to put it on my nipples a few times a day and once it's dry it stays there kind of like nail polish!but every time my daughter wanted to nurse,I said sure and just let her try it and she did not like the taste and cried the first time and after a day she would come close to my breast and just lick it with her tounge and say yuck!she quit in 2 days!It really worked great for us!Worth a try!Good luck!

I think stopppig the night nursing would be the first step. I made a very simple book abot how every one sleeps, even mommy breasts, at night. I even drew sleeping breasts ( with zzzzzzz's)!
My daughter was about 16 months at the time . I think it worked. For a few night she would wake up to nurse and I would rind her everyone is sleeping, even my breasts. She slept with us so though it might seem like that'd be harder, we could easily cuddle her back to sleep.

After night nursing stops, the stop middle of the day, offer a snack or other milk. Then morning, last one to end is right before bed. It takes a few weeks. Good luck!

How wonderful that you have bfed her this long. Great for you and her! Do you really want to wean her completely, or is it just the public nursing that is becoming a problem? If that is it, you could let her know you only do that at home and she needs to wait until you are home, then offer her a drink or snack and some cuddle time. If it is the frequency that is the problem, I would set rules as to when, where, and how often she can nurse - she is old enough to understand. Such as only first thing in the morning, before nap, after nap, before bed, or whatever works for you. Have very clear cut rules for when and where and then ONLY nurse her then. As long as you stick to the rules, she will catch on quickly. As for the nighttime nursing, I like what someone else said about talking about everyone sleeping at night, even mommy's breast and she can have them in the morning when they are awake. At her age, she should catch on quickly. Once you have done all this, she will have cut down a lot and may be ready to wean herself shortly after. Just be sure to have LOTS of one on one time and LOTS of cuddle time and keep offering her cups of milk and other snacks, to replace the nursing snuggle time and calories. I nursed all 3 of my kids, my last one until almost 2 yrs old. She was, still is, a tiny little girl, too. Good luck and great for you!
S.

I've given this advice to many a Mom on this website, but it worked so wonderfully for me that I feel compelled to share. My second son was very difficult to ween. When he was 22 months old I decided that I had had enough. We were playing the same games of nursing on and off all night and public embarrassements. So, I put vinegar on my nipple right before he went to nurse. I told him that Mama's milk got ucky. It only took two tries. Then, to let him know he was still loved, if he did lean forward to try and nurse in the night I would give him a kiss. I also did this with a bottle for my adopted daughter and worked equally well. Good luck!

I put bandaids on my nipples and told my daughter that they were broken. She was more concerned that mommy had an owie than she was about not being able to nurse. She would check on them a couple times a day for 3 or 4 days and then just forgot about them after that. It was pretty easy.

With my sisters last one she switched to just at bedtime nursing him for a while, and then slowly weening him off of that.

Go to a La Leche League meeting and get some support. I am a long term nursing mommy and just weaned my youngest this fall. It is a short lived era in our lives...
I would also encourage you to read Dr. Sears info on nursing and weaning. He has never failed me.
Good luck and enjoy this time with your kids!
J.

best info i can give you is to go to www.llli.org and find a local or nearby la leche league consultant. they will have resources available to you, or other mom's experience. my son self weaned at 19 months, all on his own. the thing that works best is to maybe change your furniture layout or simply dont sit in the same spot that you normally breastfed in. avoiding locations that might remind her to nurse can prevent her from being reminded. does that make sense? also, dont ask, dont refuse. if she asks, go ahead and let her, but dont offer it if she doesnt ask. my son used sign language (squeezing your hand open and shut like you were milking a cow is sign language for milk) and that was always a quiet and polite way for him to ask.

anyway, just try to keep busy. if there is a certain time of day that she usually nurses, plan to do something different that time of day, read a book, play playdough, cook some cookies, something that will maybe distract her from the "routine". it is always a good thing to replace a nursing session with another bonding ritual of some kind.
and THANK YOU SO MUCH for nursing your daughter for this long! :) what a beautiful relationship you must have with your daughter! :)

I just recently stopped nursing my two-and-a-half year old son. First we cut it down to twice a day, using the usual distraction techniques, not associating it with sleeping, etc. Then we cut back to once a day--to do this, I told him that "nee nee" (our word for nursing) was hurting me (which was true at the time since I was pregnant, but I just told him it was because he was getting so big and strong) and asked him to choose which nursing session he wanted to keep. He picked mornings, which was his favorite time. Then after that pattern was established (about a month), I introduced the idea that mommy milk eventually runs out, just like the milk in the refrigerator when we drink up the last of the gallon. I told him that mommy's bodies make milk for babies, but when children get bigger they don't need it anymore, so the milk goes away. He was very surprised to hear about this. I mentioned it a few times over the course of a couple of weeks, then one day announced that the "nee nee" milk was all gone. It went very smoothly, to my relief, because he LOVED nursing. He asked about it and was a little sad for about a week, then it tapered off, and now (a couple of months later), he almost never mentions it except as a fond memory. Hope that helps!

I have nursed 4 children and with each child I have nursed longer and longer. Is it possible that your daughter is getting sick or not feeling well. I find that when I start to get really frustrated with nursing my toddler I soon realize that it's because of an impending sickness or just teething. Also, I find that when they feel insecure about something then they want to nurse. I would try to have something else to offer her when you're in public. It doesn't sound like you need to stop nursing, you just need to set some limits to it for her.

I nursed my daughter until she was 4 1/2 and I have NO regrets. She is now 7 and we are so close. I'm close to all my kids. I do understand that it gets frustrating at times and I don't agree with nursing them in public when they get so big, but I also realize that the toddler years are really short lived and before you know it your daughter will be too independent and not need you. All my children are very secure and I believe that is because I nursed them for extended amount of time.

Also, when the weather starts to get nicer it's easier to nurse less often. I often will offer to read to my toddler now when he thinks he wants to nurse. I think sometimes it's his way of saying he needs "mommy" time. He loves to read books together and usually will opt for that. I also keep suckers around to offer him when I don't want to nurse him. With a big family I get very busy at times and he just needs me.

Good luck with your decision! I know it's not easy!

Since she is now using breatfeeding as a comfort zone you are going to have some issues getting her broke. Redirect her to an appropriate soothing such as a toy or blanket. Since I am assuming that the majorit of her food is being given thru sippy cups and actual food there isn't a reason why she should continue to nurse since you are ready for it to end. You may have to brave and just stick with no more and have a couple days of drama but she will get over it quicer than you believe. At the age of 2 your daughter shoulld be sleeping all night long and if she isn't then make sure she has extra cereal or health snac before she goes to bed.. A full belly will help her sleep longer and if she fusses in the middle of th night..offer the sippy cup for drink offer her favority toy or blanket to sleep with. This isn't going to be a pleaant experience but one that all mom's go thru. It really doesn't have to tae that long to break the habit but you have to be firm about it. At 2 years of age they are going to have temper tantrums about everything.

Just another point of view...take it or leave it...I have horrible anxiety issues, and breastfeeding makes them a lot better, so I'm still nursing my 27 month old. He went through a phase for about a month where he did the same, and where I felt like I was nursing him more like a newborn than a two year old. Now, however, we have gone for a week at a time without nursing when we're apart (no problems for either of us) and he nurses at night an in the morning and when he's stressed (when we travel), and I'm very comfortable with that. I'm glad we continued nursing. I don't have good advice for stopping; I know other friends have told their children that they are big now, and big kids drink from cups, and they can offer to snuggle the children without nursing. Good luck!

For night nursing I just had to cut my son off. It was hard and he fussed but only one night and then we were done. You can't backslide though. I once let him nurse at night after that and the next 3 nights were miserable to re-establish no nursing at night. I did like the suggestion that even mommy's breasts go to sleep. Are you co-sleeping? That idea may work well if you are.

My son is 39 months and still nursing 2-3 times a day (waking, nap when I'm around, and betime). When he would try to nurse in public, I just told him no. There were a few temper tantrums around it and we would just leave. That behavior stopped quickly. Also, I would try to have a distraction or yummier alternative to "mommy milk".

Good luck! I'm not sure when we'll be done. I think it will be when my son self weans - hopefully before attending college :)