Hi, my name is C. and I am a 27 year old mother of two wonderful boys. The problem is that my youngest who is 21 months old is breastfeed and will not take no for an answer. He eats well, and will drink milk (a little at a time), but when he is tired, or fussy he automatically demands the breast. I have been very ready for a few months now to stop nursing. He has got to the point of calling them "MINES", which is very embarrassing to me if family is around. If I sit down he automatically sits on my lap and will scream and demand to be nursed. I have even got to the point of not sitting down to avoid it and he will hang on my legs and fuss until he is blue in the face. Family has told me to go away for a few days and then he will not have me there to demand for, but I just don't think i could bare to leave him that long. I have bought every cool sippy cup you can think of, I have also tried distraction but that does not work for long. Any suggestions would be Greatly appreciated!!!
Thank you!
Just the other day, Nanny had an issue with this... Well the boy couldnt get away from the bottle. They lived in Hawaii, which is similar.. so take what you can out of this story.. The little boy gathered all his bottles and threw them in teh trash, then his father Found a package in ocean and it washed up on shore for his son.. it was a magical sippy cup!! he was so excited to use it... Hope this helps! Imagination goes a long way...
I second the recommendation for kellymom.com, first of all. Great source for breastfeeding help!
I also agree with setting some limits, but not cutting off cold turkey. You might start by cutting out one nursing session a day. Say, he likes to nurse upon waking up. Explain that it's time to get up and do things and that you can't nurse right then. Maybe some fun outings first thing in the morning would be in order, if you can do that. After about a week, he'll probably have gotten used to not nursing in the morning. Maybe longer, but follow his signs. If he's still asking, don't move on to removing another session yet. But if he has stopped asking, you can move on to removing another session during the day.
My son is turning three next week. He still nurses, but it's limited to bedtime and if he wakes up at night. He still asks for it at those times, but I've hit the point of "don't offer. don't refuse." for our nighttime sessions. He has to say "MamaMilk, please" in order to get any milk.
Breastfeeding beyond two years is perfectly normal for the human species. I understand feeling ready to be done, and even having family pressuring you to be done. But I think of how precious my time is with my son. This is such a short period of his life and I've got the privelige to be a special part of it. It makes it easier to lay down at bedtime with him, when I think of how this special bond will melt away in the coming months. And, have you noticed how toddler meltdowns are so easily soothed by mamamilk? It's magic, I'm tellin' ya! ;)
there's the old saying "don't offer don't refuse" but it sounds as if you're not offering...
www.kellymom.com is an excellent resource...
you could 'start' by explaining that you only nurse at night- point out the sun, the moon, the stars, etc...and then make *that* a rule and slowly go from there...
I also have friends who put limits- only in *that* chair at *this* time and start from there...
I also have those who set time limits like ok, but only as I sing the alphabet song (hey, the toddler will know her/his ABCs!)
HTH!
~L.
ps: good for you for going so long!!!
C.,
Wow, how frustrating for you! You have been breastfeeding so well for so long and now he is using his new found independence and concept of being in charge to make it not so much fun for you anymore. You have lots of options besides weaning. If it is the way he is demanding you to nurse and how he is not respecting boundaries, you can teach what we call 'nursing manners'. Just like we teach them manners for other things, nursing manners are important too. We do not let our children demand and stomp and pitch a fit for other things, why would we be expected to allow it for this? You can ask him to be polite about nursing just as you expect him to be polite when asking for anything else.
Also, you can pick times you feel like nursing is fine with you and tell him so. "Ryan, we nurse at night" or "Ryan, we do not nurse when we have company" or "Ryan we nurse when it is time to go to sleep, do you want to go to sleep now?" Also give him lots and lots and lots of special attention when he is not nursing. But, do not let it get to the point that he is pitching a fit for it if you know you will allow him to anyway, simply start from there. When you say no, then yes it is just too confusing. Better to say "not now, wait a bit" and then offer later even if he does not ask so he trusts you when you say wait.
There are lots of other great ideas in a book called "How Weaning Happens" "Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning" or even "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler". These are all avaialable at Amazon.com. I would also suggest finding out if y ou have a local La Leche League Nursing Toddler's Group. You may find some great support there for how to limit his nursing and make it more pleasant even while you are weaning him so you end this beautiful relationship on a pleasant note.
I want to also warn you agains trying anything to make him unhappy to nurse. You want him to wean, but you don't want hime to do so from fear or anger or sadness. The nursing relationship is so special and weaning should be gradual, gentle, respectful and with love.
You got some great loving suggestions and also enough moms telling you that they are breastfeeding their older baby to know that this is normal and healthy. I hope you found a path to weaning that respects the relationship and what it means to you and to your son. The truth is, many mothers do in fact miss it even when they want to wean. It's an odd thing...sort of happy an sad at the same time...
Best,
P. MazzellaDiBosco, IBCLC, RLC and a mom who has breastfed 7 children well into toddlerhood---trust me, they all wean. :)
YES! At his age he can understand and communicate with you very well. The idea about you leaving for a few days is great, go for about three days and then when you come back your milk will be all dried up. When or if he asks for his MINES tell him that it's all gone and give hime a cup of milk. I fhe still insists let him and he will see that it is all gone.
I have a 2-1/2 year old who's still nursing too, so I can relate. Although mine is down to just nursing at night (before bed) and usually first thing in the morning.
Anyhow, the two suggestions I've heard from friends is either put barbecue sauce or hot sauce on your nipples, or maybe vinegar. If he doesn't like the taste, he'll go onto something else, and have a sippy or straw cup handy with something he really likes, like perhaps chocolate milk! Good luck, and let us know how it works out!
well since you can't throw your boobs away.....just stop! i gaurantee it hurts you more than him. good luck~!
All I can say is I BTDT and still am. I have a 28mo son that is still nursing, but now down to about 2times a day. at your son's age my guy was still going up to8 times a day.
I just look at it as a small part of there long life. I take one day at a time and some days I just can't stand to have him nurse but others it is such a comfort for both of us. I decided to let him wean himself and he is doing that. But the main reason I didn't wean him was I just didn't want the headache. Just easier IMO. Yeah I guess you could call me lazy. To me Bfing has solved so many problems for him, why would I want to lose that? I weaned at 3yo so I KNOW he won't be doing it forever!
As for your family, well it's none of there bussiness if he is still nursing, he not quite 2 yet, so tell them they say to bf until age 2 and beyond now.
There is a great book, "mothering your nursing toddler" that helped me a lot. I got it from my LLL group.
I nursed all three of my boys until they were two years old. I made a point of telling them months in advance that on their 2nd birthday they would no longer be a baby, and that nursing was only for babies. That is when they would be a "big boy". Then, we did the count down to that special day. The hardest part is holding your ground because of the emotional attachment. But it absolutely works!! Since you want it to end sooner than 3 months, pick a day on the calendar and put a big star on it. How about an early birthday?? Good luck!
