"Any Bedtime Suggestions That I Havent Allready Tried"

we never let our daughter sleep in our room, unless she was ill. when she was your daughters age she went through the same thing but the key was to not give up no matter what. we put a night light in her room with a fan on high everynight, put her to bed the same time everynight with a snack before hand. we would than sit on the floor and say or do nothing, not even looking at her. we would do this for 3 or 4 nights, after that we would move and sit a few more feet away from her until she fell asleep, yes she would cry at times while doing this but you just ignore it. until finally one night you were at the door and than a few days later out the door all together. it took awhile and alot of patience but it has worked. she sleeps through the night and is fine with it. the key is to never pick her up and put her in your room again just because she is crying, it will defeat the whole purpose and she knows it, trust me. good luck. there is a name for this but i just can't think of it at the moment.

Someday we'll be grateful we have stubborn daughters. I agree that soothing herself back down would be good. Is she tired when she goes to bed? My kids always sleep better if they've had some outside time during the day and some exercise. The best way to keep her in bed is to keep her asleep as long as possible. I don't like the crying either. Have you tried an intercom system, so that she can "check in" with you if/when she's wondering what's going on? Also, my kids have the dreaded disease called FMS (fear of missing something). Assure her that things will be just the same as when she went to sleep. One idea that a friend of mine tried with a slightly older child was to give the daughter 4 quarters to start each night. For each time she called out or got out of bed, she had to pay Dad a quarter. She got to "keep the change" and they'd agreed on a toy when she got enough money. After a couple of weeks, you might see a new habit. (We personally don't like the lights on, music on, kind of thing, nor do we insist that the house be silent.) Just normal activity which sleep is an important part of life. We also told our kids that sleep makes you smarter, stronger, and bigger. They liked that idea, too!

Consistency is so key with bedtime. Our son was also very stubborn about bedtime, and would *not* transition into his own bed/room on our timeline. We co-slept, on purpose, but decided it was time to transition as he got older & bigger.

Long story short, we found that he was thriving with a very consistent bedtime routine: bath, brush teeth, put on jammies, story, song, sleep. It's been the same every night for almost 2 years. Now we can vary the stories, but for about 6-9 months we were reading the same 2 or 3 stories every night. Boring for us, comforting for him. We also played "sleepy music" all night, had 2 nightlights for security & made sure he always had his "special friends" handy.

It was a long road, but he was consistently sleeping almost through the night fairly quickly. Getting him back to sleep in his bed was a battle for awhile, but we always limited the interactions in the middle of the night - lights off, very little talking, hug, kiss, drink of water, back to sleep. The worst nights we were up 4 or 5 times, but we had to stick with it. After a week or so it got so much better. Now, he's sleeping in his bed all night without a peep most of the time. He went through a phase at about 2 1/2 where he had night terrors - we dealt with those, but stuck as close to our same routine as possible.

The only advice I have (and it's not a magic fix) is to stick with something long-term. Find out what works for you & for your daughter, and stick with it. The routine might become monotonous for you, but routine isn't a bad thing for young kids - predictability is comforting. I'm not an advocate of cry-it-out - nighttime can be a scary time for lots of kids, and I don't think leaving them to sob alone helps them feel safe & secure & develop healthy sleep attitudes.

I know how frustrated you are, having been there myself, but there is an end. It's a lot of work, but the other side is totally worth it.

Good luck!
J.
mom to Chase (4) & Paige (due 6.2.08)

R.,

If you are working on a new consistent routine, your daughter might benefit from having it actually put into a visual chart for her to follow. By that I mean, make a chart that shows all your steps to bed time. 1. pj's, 2. brush teeth, 3. books, 4. sleep all night in her own bed. She can look and see what comes next, it will also allow her to take some control of the process by having her look at the chart and tell you what happens next. It might help her understand what to expect and how she can help make it happen. Especially if you haven't been that consistent in the past.

Good luck to you.
J.

R.,

Have you tried sleeping with her a couple of nights? Does she have a night light or a small lamp with a soft bulb? Have you tried some white noise? such as a small fan pointing away from her?

The only other thing is to keep putting her back into her room and bed. I just got my 13 month old to sleep in his bed all night, however his crib is still in my room. Its only been two nights that he has slept all night. I am hoping for a few more weeks of him sleeping all night and I will move him into his brothers room. But I want to make sure its a habit before the big move.

Good Luck!

Agreed. The Sleep Lady's book is wonderful. Just make sure you read it and stick with it. And it is a very gentle approach. We have a 2 yr. old and that book as worked for us since she was 6 months old. It has answers to all your sleeping questions.

I've had 3 children and they all slept in my bed until they were six months to two years. Listening to the cry hurts but it does work. And my youngest was stubborn- but after 5 days he slept in his bed with no problems. What I did was give them a bath, read a book, tuck them in, and then leave the room. I put a baby gate up in their doorway and would return them to bed every time they got up. But I didn't say anything after the third time of putting them back in bed. It doesn't give them the attention that they want so sooner or later they stay in bed and fall asleep. Yes it's a pain in the butt- but it works every time.

R.,
One suggestion would be try playing music all night long. Both our boys like having the CD going all night. We also leave a nightlight on in their rooms. There is also a night light in the bathroom. The one thing we did when our boys were transitioning was to put a gate up in their doorway, and moved their beds so they could see into our room at night. This way when they woke up in the middle of the night they could still see us sleeping in bed. Both of them for the first few night s would end up sleeping by the gate in the doorway, but they did not come into our room. Hope that helps.
J..

Okay... I just have to suggest the book "Good Night, Sleep Tight; the Sleep Lady's guide to getting your child to sleep, stay asleep, and wake up happy!" by Kim West

Great book on any sleep issue for ages birth-5! Read it and I'm sure you will find something to help you! good luck!