Any Advice for a Stubborn Toddler Who Can but Won't Talk?

I agree with encouraging her to use her words, do not allow her to pull or use you to point to things, ask her questions instead like if you know she wants milk, ask you want something out the fridge? what do you want? and just wait it may take a while, have her point to it even, then say oh! you wnat milk when she points to it, then eventually wait to open the fridge and ask her what do you want out the fridge? I cannot open it cause all the cold will get out can you tell me what you want out of there? Baby steps talk to her not at her, or for her, you will start to see a small change, some kids simple dont like to talk a lot so you got to be patient...

I think you need to encourage speaking by not giving in when she gestures/pulls you. If she points/grunts in indication of what she wants, you need to ask her to "use her words"...when she pulls you, ask her, "please tell me what you need"...and be prepared for a little resistance/frustration, but don't give in until you get a clearer request. and this is where i've found incorporation of sign language very helpful....as you say/sign "milk" it encourages her to mimic back the gesture (in a specific, and not general, way) and research has shown that the words for related objects come more easily as well.

RELAX She's just fine. She's still very little and she has plenty of room to grow yet. Don't rush it. It's so easy to rush our children even though we don't realize it and especially with the first one. She's not yet two and still getting use to this world and will be for years to come. The best thing is knowing you are her model, and modeling is key to it all. She has no one that is more important than you and everything you do and say. Good ol' Nursery Rhymes are wonderful for developing speech and so much more as well as simple songs sung throughout the day and have one that's just for sleep. You could have one just for going out or when you're about to do cooking or eating or bathing, all kinds of things. Keep it simple and memorize them yourself first (very important) starting with one you say/sing all the time. Before you know it you'll have a slew of them. But concentrate on one at a time for at least a few weeks or so. She'll be talking up a storm and repeating the wonderful, sweet little verses and songs in no time. Remember, we learn to understand words long before we speak, especially before we speak fluently. It's not just about quanity, it's a quality. In order to love language we have to hear lovely words, especially sing songy words. As she gets older she'll love silly words and playful word games and such. You can find nursery rhymes on line. And the CD, song books by Mary Thienes-Schunemann are wonderful. They're perfectly pitched for a child's ear and to the appropriate phases of development. A lot of science, art and heartfelt love has gone into her work for children. They're fun to sing with your little one. ~~ The Best to you and your's~~~

Take her to a speech therapist. It is a myth that children are too stuborn to talk, and it would not matter even if this were true. Not only do children need to know how, but they must practice it or they will have delayed expressive langaguge skills. I made this mistake once, don't stunt your very smart non talker by doing what I did. Go now, and if there is any suggestion that it might be more than a langauge issue, get that evaluation sooner rather than later. The smarter your child is, the more likely it is that the early intervention will be the only intervention that they need and nobody will ever know that they had it. If you don't get it, and she needed it, it will be with her for a long, long time. Going to a therapist early for a speech evaluation is always a win win situation. You either walk out the door knowing that you are going to help them really early, or you walk out the door knowing that they don't need help, based on numbers and not what happended to your neighbor's, sister's, coisin's child who did that and is now and honor student. Don't wait.

M.

I would be willing to bet that if you insisted that she talk, she will do much better. By this I mean, encourage her to talk, don't reward her by giving her what she wants (even if you know just what that is) when she doesn't *tell* you.

I agree with the poster who said showing her signs will encourage her to talk. My son was about 20 months when I really started to teach him a lot of sign language. Each sign he learned, he said the word soon after. It really does work. Signing Times DVD's have been awesome and my son loves them! I rent them from the library

Good luck!

She is still pretty young. At this age, she should have about 10 words. Be consistant and use the same words for what she wants. Like instead of responding to pulling, make her say Go or Come. But always use the same word. A lot of SAHMs experience this because sometimes we are too quick to attend to our toddlers needs. Let her come get you and even if you see she needs your help or wants something, make her say the word. Do not push her to the point of a meltdown, I would do it until you start hearing her get anxious, then model the word a few times and she if she responds. Then give in. She will learn all that fuss is over nothing and soon say what she wants. Also, I agree with Martha. Why not call Early Intervention and get a free evaluation? You don't have to tell anyone and if they say she is fine then you have nothing to worry about. They can even give you tips to help her talk. Also, one word about sign language. I think its really good for babies or those who have a nuerological issue that makes it hard to form words. But studies have shown that is does not speed up language. It doesn't slow it down, but it does not speed it up. It can help children that get very frustrated and tantrum but your daughter is at the age where she can form basic words. I would focus on a small concentrated vocab of words like Go, Yes, More, No, Get, Come, That, ect.

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First of all if she has a pacifier get rid of it. They are proven to slow talking. Same goes for a bottle or a sippy cup all day. I was a slow talker as well. My older sister and I communicated in our own type of language and she did whatever I needed. Finally at the age of 2 my mother took me to a doctor and said she won't talk and can hardly walk either. The doctor asked me what the problem was and I told him to shut up and leave me alone! So, he said don't worry Mom, she will talk when she is good and ready. But, my sister was forbidden to help me communicate and they forced me to if I wanted to be fed or anything. I was not happy about this and I think they should have been a bit nicer about it LOL.

You have wonderful answers already. My wife and I used them on our one child that resisted talking. Every other child talked as soon as they learned.

Follow the previous suggestions.

Good luck to you and yours.

You has mentioned that your daughter is 20 months old and she is not talking much in Sep 2010 and as a follow up you had said she has started to speak up now ... can you tell me when did that happen ? how long was the process between the two ?

As I have my son is in the similar situation and it would help me a lot. Thanks in advance.

Updated

You has mentioned that your daughter is 20 months old and she is not talking much in Sep 2010 and as a follow up you had said she has started to speak up now ... can you tell me when did that happen ? how long was the process between the two ?

As I have my son is in the similar situation and it would help me a lot. Thanks in advance.

Maybe she doesn't like to talk.
I'm glad she's highly intelligent.
I like the suggestion below about "use your words".
Also, the next time you're reading a book together,
how about instead of your finger pointing to an object,
let her point her finger at the object.
let her say the name.
Ask her, what is that?
About the music, does any of the music have words?
Have you tried singing with her?
Sing a line and then have her repeat the line?
S.