Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Depression

I agree with Diane. Good luck to you.

Wow momma you have got a lot on your plate!! I'm bipolar with SADD disease and chronic fatigue syndrome. I cannot imagine my husband treating me this way...EVER! That is not okay! Jeez it is no wonder you're having panic attacks. And for your mom to jump on the band wagon is just ludicrous! The only advice I could possibly give to you is to LEAVE. If he is this unreasonable with depression how is he going to treat you down the road...what if have a heart condition? Is he going to stand there and scream at you then? Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Nothing more nothing less. It can be triggered by many things ie having a baby, to much stress, a great loss, insomnia ect. If it is environmental (sure sounds that
way to me but I'm no doctor) it won't get better if the environment doesn't change. He is an awful man who is exploiting what he see's as your weakness. You are not INSANE your mother and husband are!!!! For two people who are supposed to love you more than anything else in the world they sure are being ugly. Why don't you have your mother come stay with you? Then she can see what is truly going on. There will come a time when you will have had enough....then it will be easy to leave. Been there done that. When you get to that point when you aren't afraid ,when being alone is better than dealing with all the drama ,when you put your son's needs ahead of everyone else's or when you seriously consider killing your husband...then you will have the strength you need to walk away and never look back. You are in my prayers.

Please try and find the strength and support (from someone other than mom) to leave. Just find one person on your side--clergy, a therapist, a friend, a shelter worker, etc. You are not crazy. What you are experiencing--the anxiety, depression and panic are very common and stress just makes it so much worse. If the meds helped, maybe get back on them temporarily just to give you that boost to help you get out the door. I also hope you are seeing a therapist and letting them know what your husband is doing and having them document it. If you do leave, you don't want him setting things up so he can take away your child/children. You are a strong person in a horrible situation!

"I also cannot leave. Ido not have the necessary strenght. A horrible anxiety covers me at the only thought of leaving. So, I am trapped!" Please think about what you said this way: Either way, with or without him, you are going to have anxiety. So why not have it without the jerk and give yourself and your child some peace and freedom from him!

Hi D.,
You are going to be OK. Lots of people go through this stuff and it is all very anxiety provoking. You sound like you are doing a great job so far. The anxiety will pass when you get some of the stress out of your life. It's overwhelming but if you take little steps you can do it. You are not crazy and you sound like a great Mom to me. It sounds like you are having a really tough time with that relationship. I'm sure non of you are happy in the house. Try not to get pulled into the fights. Maybe go out when he is home and get a third party involved...maybe a friend or a therapist. You need and deserve love and support. Please take care of yourself and get some space from this guy. It will be better for the whole family. At least for now. You will be OK. Keep us posted and good luck.

When you leave the crazy situation you may just leave the crazy too.
You are in a bad marraige according to you.
So get out of it.
You obviously have a bad relationship with your mother.
So stop talking with her.
So...If you leave the abusive relationships in the dust you may find that you don't really have depression or anxiety. You just were living a hellatious life!
L.

The only thing trapping you is your own mind. There are shelters out there for abused women with their children. I suggest you call one and as soon as they have room for you - go! The people there will be able to help you take the steps necessary to become an independent woman. You won't have to do it alone. And once you've taken that first step, you will be amazed how good you feel. You will literally be able to feel a great weight lifted off you and you will probably sleep better than you have in years!

I know it's hard; I know it's scary. I did it when I was just 23 years old with a 2 year old in tow. And back then (30 years ago) you didn't have shelters for abused women and most places still weren't taking domestic violence that seriously.

If I can do it under those circumstances, I KNOW you can do it! We can't do it for you but I just can't encouarge you strongly enough to just take that first step - pick up the phone and ask for help!

We can all tell you, from the outside looking in, what you already know: you are being abused. It is highly possible that when you do decide that you are ready to leave your husband, that you will leave the crazy with him!

I really don't know what other advice to give you. You can self-medicate until you lose your mind, but that doesn't seem like a solution to me. You have kids to raise.

Hi D., You said you feel trapped and can't leave your husband.
Your husband is abusing you and there are shelters for you and your kids to go to (I just read there's a shelter in New York that even allows you to take a dog or cat with you). Please check out this website safehorizon.org and/or call 1-800-621-4673 for help with your situation.
I think the first step for you might be to get out of that abusive situation.
At the shelter they have counseling for you and your kids, even legal counseling. I really wish you and your family the very best. You all deserve it!

The first thing you must do it go to a mental health center and sign up for some counseling. You are going to still be like this in the future because you must deal with the things that are causing the attacks or you will continue to have them.

Your life will never be the way it was before. It just won't. You'll still have that deep fear of having another one if you do this or do that.

Some of the things that cause you to have fear will go away. I used to not be able to be stuck in traffic, I would take back roads and avoid being stuck in intersections. Now traffic doesn't bother me at all. I can sit there and it isn't important to me.

I do have some issues with singing on stage and sitting in the front of a room and not by a door/exit. Some of my other avoidance behaviors are much much less obvious. It does get better by far, a lot better.

I think that getting counseling will also help you to see that you are choosing to stay in this relationship because you might be afraid of getting out in the big bad world on your own. It is easy to start over D.. You will make new friends and you will do okay.

I think if you learn new skills in therapy you will come to find out you are a wonderful caring person who just needs someone to support your new adventure that has nothing to gain by telling you the truth. A counselor can be that person. They will help you learn your strengths and what you need to work on.

As you gain insight and grow stronger you will be able to look at your husband and understand he's the one making you this way. He's playing you. He, maybe even subconsciously, knows your weak spots and he uses them to manipulate you, to make you break inside so he can control you.

You are never going to be whole until you are able to stand up to him and feel nothing when he belittles you and tries to get you to break. You will then be able to make the choice to leave or stay. Once he sees you strong he may or may not even want you anymore. Good riddance.