Anxiety in 8 Year Old..

Hi L.,

He needs coping skills. Sometimes it's hard for us to remember being that age and having the fears wash over like a tidal wave. Try to cast back to when you were 8. I know when I was I had to cross the hallway to get from my room to the bathroom so those night time potty breaks were especially difficult. Mom gave me a flashlight and in a short time with that tool things got easier and easier as I gained confidence. This is just one example, I won't bore anyone with more.

Anyway, when my DS was about that age some dingus (sp) introduced him to slenderman. OMG!!!!!!!!!! Talk about fear and anxiety....Stopping short of boxing the other kids ears which would have created a whole other host of issues, we worked together on developing a coping strategy. We implemented it and, while it did take some time, he slowly emerged from this anxiety.

I know I sound like I'm oversimplifying this. I think it's important that you are taking this seriously and I also agree with the posts below that meeting with a therapist is an excellent idea and can only help him and you develop his confidence and find some coping techniques. :-) S.

Ask your pediatrician for a referral to a therapist who specializes in anxiety in kids and teens. It's a very real and difficult condition for kids and parents to handle on their own. A good therapist will do wonders.

Seems like this is our of the ordinary and requires a therapist. The sooner the better before it gets worse.

Two of mine have anxiety. Ours were situational, so just the first time doing things, so we've been working on that with her to build confidence and come up with coping mechanisms. Her fear is still there though - so she's going into a program for kids to help build resilience I think they call it. It's with a counsellor at the school. I'd like to say we helped her get rid of her anxiety, but I think the best we as parents have done was help her cope.

One of my son's got angry and hostile if he felt uncomfortable or anxious. We've worked with him also. Typically, he just avoids those situations now. Again, not sure if he's really overcome it or just figured out a way to deal. We also went with a therapist for children/pre-teens who specialized in this very thing. We found her off the internet - but our doctor also recommended a number of specialists. Or, if you have a program through work, etc. maybe they could help you find someone (some workplaces have this kind of service).

Our therapist essentially focussed on ways to relax. Going through steps - "what's the worst thing that could happen?" etc. I think it just gave him something to focus on and get him under control. It helped him.

My friend's child had anxieties similar to your child's. They grew so eventually she went into therapy sessions - the mom did the first part with the therapist, then the child had second half of sessions. They found it very helpful. Her child's worries were growing and last I heard they are under control. She was a "What if... this happened ... ?" kid. So unlike my kids, which were set off by specific situations, hers was just this overwhelming fear of the unknown. I would think you would want to find a therapist sooner than later to help him. Then be sure you work with the therapist so you can work on the methods at home. Good luck :)

all kids (well, almost, i guess) have litanies of fears, and helping them deal with them appropriately is part of parenting.
but sometimes little guys have fears that are all out of whack, and the usual soothing sensible logic and comfort don't work. it sounds as if your young fellow has more than his share.
get him some help. you could probably do a lot of research and train yourself to cope in a helpful fashion (and you should) but he needs help NOW. find a good child therapist who will help him (and you) develop tools to cope.
khairete
S.

It's important to get him help. The anger and hostility are going to cause him a huge amount of problems socially. You need intervention. You need it now. Get your ped to get him some help.

Meditation has been known to help ease inner anxiety and fears and in my opinion, it's best to start people on it the younger the better. IF you look online there are many articles about meditation and young people and how it helps. There is even a city, Vedic, Iowa where most of the place practices it. AND they have seen huge improvements with the kids. You needn't take it that far, but a little a day helps..
start out with just 5 minutes.. then longer.. Anxiety is tricky, the more you try and run from it, the more it chases you, therefore you have to kinda sit it out, the longer you can sit with and learn that the feeling does in fact past, the better you get at coping with it and in some cases, having it diminish altogether.
I USED to suffer from Claustrophobia and would get very anxious, sitting on a bus and if it got too crowded, I would have to get off, even in the pouring rain.. Now I believe that a person needs to take control of their breath before it takes control of them. meaning, don't wait for the anxiety, go into situation already having done done breathing.. because once your anxiety and breath take over, it's hard to get it stabilized, than if you just stayed calm to begin with...Having learned this the hard way, I now know to constantly be aware of my breathing, focus and thoughts.. if you aren't aware of your thoughts and allow them to percorlate, they will overcome you with fear.. again, it's about mind-training, as weird as that might sound..
Actually, mediation for the whole family might be a good idea, in our house, we all do it..

good luck.. it CAN work if you practice and give it some time..

I suggest you get a referral and seek outside professional help. His pediatrician should be a good start, or many insurances allow you to self-refer to behavioral health.

Is this recent? Has he had strep or a viral infection? Does he have separation anxiety? Any OCD symptoms? Check out PANS as a possibility.

Updated

Is this recent? Has he had strep or a viral infection? Does he have separation anxiety? Any OCD symptoms? Check out PANS as a possibility.

Help him get over some of these fears, do you have an emergency plan in place for bad storms, etc.? Maybe if he learns how he can be safe and/or protect himself (even if that means hiding in a closet during a burglary) that may help him get over feeling anxious.

I think most kids that age have strong fears about almost everything. My daughter is 9 and has had similar fears, I talk to her about what to do in each scenario and this has helped. We have always had a plan in place for fire, natural disasters, etc..