Anxiety?? - Saint Paul,MN

Updated on March 01, 2007
K.L. asks from Saint Paul, MN
4 answers

Does anyone besides me have thoughts of family members getting hurt or dieing... I have issues like that on a daily basis. they come out of no where. here's an perfect example... i was driving over a bridge one day and this was right after the accident on 494 ( i think) with 2 semi's....i had both kids in the car and i looked around me and on all sides of me there were semi's and in my brain I saw this whole movie in my head....of the semi hitting us and going over the bridge and trying to get my kids out of the car...in the matter of seconds... that isn't right.... is that just an over active imagination? or anxiety....??????? who knows a good psychiatrist and a psychologist near woodbury..

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M.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I do that too and I know others who do it. I like to blame it on too many movies. If you are anxious all day, then that would be over-the-top, but every now and then, having an episode of worry may come with the territory of mothering and loving your family.

I think there are lots of people out there who deal with the unpredictability of life through imagining scenarios and how they would react. There was a popular "Worst Case Scenario handbook" series years ago, if that is any indictation.

Aside. We had a burglary this summer when we were home and when I woke and heard the intruder coming towards our stairs heading up to our bedrooms, because I had envisioned the scenario before, I was able to make a split second decision to wake my husband and immediately move a very heavy dresser in front of a door to protect our family (The burglar had knocked the phone off the hook). The noise of the dresser being moved probably sounded like a 400 pound man running down the hall and scared him/her away. BTW, this was avoidable. We learned not to leave windows open in the summer, the hard way.

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S.

answers from Minneapolis on

K.,
I'm honestly torn between telling you that this is just a mom thing and that you may need help from a professional. I too, think of things like this some time in a 'what if that had been my child kind of way' and I think most other mothers probably do too. The other day we were doing some household projects and my husband was working with a saw and I kinda had a flash of how badly it would hurt my daughter if she got close to it, and it was disturbing but then it was over. The problem comes in with these questions. How badly are these images disturbing you and how are the interrupting your life? Are they constant? Are they progressively worse? Would you not leave the house for fear of an accident or go way out of your way to avoid the bridge? I think that talking to a counselor about your concerns wouldn't hurt. Being a mom is anxious work, it doesn't mean you are crazy or anything, but it might make you feel better. Human Services, INC in Oakdale provides counseling on a sliding scale for Washington County. Contact me in you want to talk or need more info.
S.

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M.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think it is natural to have that. I feel like a completly healthy and stable person, but think of that stuff all the time. One night when my husband was out of town I laid in bed for hours thinking about what I'd do if someone broke in, would I get the phone or go to the babys room first? If you are depressed, thats different, but I think about our car going off the bridge all the time, at least you thought about how to save your kids! I think it is normal to stress about things like that sometimes, but if it is affecting your everyday life, then I'd seek help.

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K.L.

answers from Madison on

Hi K.. Like Sara, I will say that it is very common to have thoughts about the awful things that could happen ot our children- it's almost as if it is our 'childproofing' instinct- but it is equally true that anxiety is painful and affects our joy in ourselves and in our mothering. There is much support available to feel better. I specialize in working with women with postpartum mood disorders and anxiety is much more prevalent than typical 'depression' symptoms. Like Sara says, it is important to examine the impact it is having on you but my recommendation is to see someone if simply to help you assess how much it is impacting you. I am new here in MN so I don't have as much insight into resources in the area, but you can contact Postpartum Support International and their website is www.postpartum.net. Keep in mind that even if your child is a year or more- these would be good resources for you. There is deepening awareness that perinatal mood disorders can begin with conception and can extend into the early years after giving birth. Finding a therapist familiar with these disorders will prove very helpful - both because they will approach treatment options more accurately, but also that they will understand that you are a parent who has different needs than someone who does not have children.
Best wishes to you and do talk with someone. It will only be helpful.
K.

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