Hi there all, we are potty training and I need advice. My daughter is almost two. Her birthday is in feb. She has for months been showing signs of being ready to use the potty. She is extremely smart. she knows when she goes and she tells me to change her. So I started three days ago with panties. When it is time to go potty, (I have to tell her) she starts crying. I couldn't figure out why, until tonight. It scares her to let her pee-pee out in her potty. She had to go so bad she was dancing on the potty to keep it in. Then finally she couldn't hold it anymore and some came out and she got this petrified look on her face and with all her might held in what was left. I don't know what to do. Has anyone else had a child scared of the potty, and if so how did you help them to not be scared. She knows what has to be done, she tells me when I go what I am doing. I think that if she weren't so scared then maybe we could actually accomplish the potty thing.
I look forward to any suggestions.
Thanks
T.
Thank you to everyone who replied. The advice seemed to center around her not really being ready. I do agree. I have however figured out why she wouldn't let her pee-pee out. The detergent I used to wash her panties has caused a very bad irritation on her bottom. So after a trip to the ER to figure out why she WOULDN'T pee at all we figured it out. Now it is back to free and clear detergent and I am going to wait a while before we try again. I am just hoping that she doesn't associate peeing in the potty with pain.
Thanks again to everyone. You advice was truly appreciated.
T.
Have you tried getting her a training potty? Some kids are just afraid of the big potty. My stepdaughter loved the big potty at first but then suddenly hated it and refused to even go near it. We got her a training potty and that seem to do the trick. I think it is because it was her size and didn't flush! :)
it is perfectly normal for a child to be afraid of the potty at 1st. just let her try it at her own pace. she is letting you know in her own way that she is not quite ready for potty training yet. keep the potty where she can see it and play with it and let her watch you go to the potty to see that there isn't anything to be scared of. in a couple of weeks you can try again. if you push her to hard she might be traumatized and make potty training even harder. praise every effort she makes, even if it's jsut sitting on the potty with all her close on. and let her know that accidents happen and they are ok...i got my little girl an elmo potty training dvd at walmart and she was very interested in it.
I had 3 children in 5 years and was always wishing for my kids to be potty trained fast. My best advice is that although your daughter may be intellectually ready she appears to not be emotionally ready. I would put the panties away, leave the potty chair out and let it be her idea when to use the potty. Believe me you will save yourself a lot of frustration.
I think she is still young to be serioiusly potty training. My daughter started showing all the signs around 18 months, yet she wasn't completely potty trained until a few months before her third birthday. I would encourage your daughter to use the potty on her terms for now and give her lots of praise when she shows any interest--even if it is just sitting on the potty with her clothes on. Let her set the pace and become familiar with the potty as she feels comfortable. I think if you push it right now, she will balk even more. My daughter was also very bright, and I felt like the potty became a control issue between the two of us. It wasn't until I completely backed off and let her set the pace that we had some success. I know you're anxious to have her trained, but in my experience, they have much more understanding, muscle control, and a sense of accomplishment when they're closer to age three. Good luck!
I agree with the first person. She is doing great so far and I wouldn't push it. I learned the hard way in finding out you can't "force" a child to potty train, and by making my son sit on the potty when he didn't want to it took over a year to potty train when in the end I gave up telling him to use the potty and having him sit, he did it on his own in less than a week. Potty training Elmo toy got him interested in potty training along with books about big kids potty training. He would read the book that he memorized and then want to go try on his own. Best of luck!
i think you should give her some time. she apparrently is not mentally ready for it. and is she scared of the big girl potty or a little potty? if it is the big girl potty have her go pick out a little girl potty. also, my son will be two in april also and i bought him potty time with elmo. and it is a great little show about pottys. she might like it . and relize the potty is not bad. don't force her crying to use it because that can cause a lot of issues.
Hi T., I agree with the advice already given, and want to add something. This wasn't your specific question but I wanted to suggest that you are careful about her 'holding in what is left'. If she continues to do this the bladder can become 'trained' to not completely empty, or she becomes accustomed to not completely emptying her bladder. My daughter had issues with this and it ended up causing many accidents at around age 3 to 4 years, when she was completely potty trained. It turns out that my daughter does have a kidney problem, but my Dr said that the two are not necessarily related. In short, I have to be sure she learns how to properly empty to prevent future problems. Sorry for responding to something that was not your question, but I think it is important to share.
Does your daughter have a little potty of her own? This might help so that after she goes pee-pee, she can "see it" in the little potty instead of when using the "big" potty and not really being able to see where it went. Just a thought. My kids were really fascinated with their efforts and loved to take part in emptying the little pot into the toilet, and then flushing it away. She may also feel more secure on a potty her size.
If this is not the case and she does a have small potty, maybe try focusing on the sound that she will hear when she goes pee-pee. Laugh and giggle about it. Maybe try to think of what other things make that same "tinkle-tinkle" sound....rain drops, a hose, etc. Try to divert her attention so she feels comfortable.
Hello T.,
It is very common for children to be scared of "letting thier pee and poop out". Even though she is a very smart girl, her fear could be a sign that she may not be totally ready yet. I have two boys ages 7 and 3 and a baby daughter who is 9 months old. The potty trainig issue for me was a stressful one with my 7 year old. He was very smart and could speak in full sentences and could feed himself very well at age one, but the potty issue was very different. He wasn't ALL the way potty trained until age three, and this was stressful for me beacuse I was raised to believe that it should be at least until age two. However, my pediatrician said that three was the average age for most toodlers, and I have read many many articles about this age being average, however, I think that it truelly boils down to each individual child, and thier comfort level. Beleive me, IT WILL happen, and it will happen sooner if your daughter does not feel stressed or frightened. Offer her the ability to pee on the potty, let her sit on it and play or let her look at a book, talk about what a potty is for, but let her explore this issue when she is comfortable. She will be more likely to want to learn about it. GUILT never works, and could even delay the process. Good luck, and be patient.
C.
I do not think your daughter is quite ready to use her potty. My daughter went through something similar. I decided to let her use her potty as a chair. She would sit on it and watch tv or to draw pictures, etc. Then, a month after her second birthday, she said she wanted to go on the potty. Ever since that day, she has been totally potty trained! Good luck and be patient.
I was wondering if you have your daughter on a potty car or on the big potty which you use. My son who is also two, will only sit on the big potty. Because that is what he sees mommy do. So maybe she's not sure about using her little potty since you don't.
