Another Potty Training Question - Menomonee Falls,WI

Updated on July 15, 2008
N.B. asks from Menomonee Falls, WI
9 answers

I saw another post this morning about potty training a 26 mo. old girl and it led me to want to post my own question about my 21 mo. old son.

D has shown interest in going on the potty for about 2 months now. In the beginning he did very well and would always tell us and we'd put him on the potty. Specifically he was good about pooping in the potty.

However, when we decided to start putting him in "big boy undies" he took a step backwards. Initially he liked them, but now he screams when we ask him if he wants to wear them and asks for a diaper.

We feel he is pretty young, and we hear and read that especially for boys he is young for potty training, so we are not pushing him. We keep encouraging him, but now he seems even less interested (most days) in using the potty and just goes in his diaper.

We are going to give him at least until after his second birthday to start pushing it along, but my question is when we do -- should we just go straight to undies during the day? No more diapers except at night? And what do you other parents do about being out and about?

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

just go with the flow. potty training is a tough one because it cant ever be forced. make it fun, make it easy, make it interesting, but never forced. summer is a good time to let them run naked outside and find out more about this potty stuff. bring a potty outside even to see if they will get interested in going in or on the potty.

but just chill. any stress you feel about it will make your child stressed, and that will hurt the process. you can let him wear undies, or whatever, but make sure its never by force. go with the flow. read into what your son wants.

good luck to you (and to me - my son is 19 1/2 months)...

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi,
I'm the mom whose 21 month old girl potty trained early. We kept her in underwear during the day. She didn't want a daiper. So, we dealt with setbacks, which only happened a couple of times for only a couple of days. We were very positive about things and not pushing at all. Just let her know that daipers were for babies.
We kept her in diapers until we noticed that she was staying dry at night for about a month and then made the jump to underwear. Nighttime usually happens not long after day training. In here case, about 6 months later.
We had the same experience with our son with Down syndrome (just starting at a later age).

Good luck!
K.

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J.O.

answers from Rochester on

I am a mom of 4 boys and have done daycare for 15 years. All of my boys were trained before the age of two and many other boys that i have cared for. So it really just depends on the child. I guess I would say the biggest thing is to be consistant. Once the diapers are gone leave them gone. I would encourage him by saying diapers are for babies and big boys like you wear undies. He will give up quickly if he knows that you won't give in to diapers. You may have a few accidents but well worth it in the long run. When out just carry extra clothing in the diaper bag. ( Plus socks and shoes) We also used training pants first...that way if they do have accident they soak up more fluid. Or resort to a pull-up only when you go out. But still put him on the potty. Good Luck!

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I 100% agree with Jerol. BOTH my boys were trained by 18 months. We used Elimination communication with them, however I think the whole 'boys train later' is an excuse for parents to just not have to dea lwith potty training.

I think there is a window between 18months and 22 months, and most parents miss that and end up with a 3yr old in diapers who is difficult to train.
Here is what I replied on the other post.

We used Elimination communication with our boys, and both were trained early. My oldest was in undies full time at 18 months, and my youngest was in undies full time at 15 months. Both were night and day trained at that time.

Its common misconception that babies are born without control over thier bladder. But if parents would just listen and pay attention to thier babies potty habits, they'd ssee that thier baby will only pee all at once 6-8 times per day. As children grow, they lose the control over thier bladder by being allowed to pee whenever wherever in an ultra absorbant disposable diaper. Wearing something like that, kids don't know when they have peed and eventually stop paying attention to thier bladder function, and then need to RELEARN how to control them.

ANYWAY, you are in a window right now, go with it. Skip pull ups, like others said they are just a very expensive diaper. Buy the Gerber training undies with the thick crotch in them, and go to town. Take her every 1/2 hour for a week and then gradually stretch the time out as you go. Set a timer to get her attetnion and get her excited about it.

She will have accidents, but it won't matter if you train her now or when she's 4, she'll still have accidents while getting used to not being in a diaper.

Watch her for signs she has to go.. a dazed look in her eye, pee shivers, squatting, staring off into space for a minute, grabbing her privates.... watch her for a while and you'll clearly see her potty signals. And don't ask her if she needs to go, TELL her time to go potty. This will mkae a big difference in your success potty training.... its not a choice ,its just something its time to do.

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T.F.

answers from Rochester on

Here's my two cents, for what it's worth as I know some won't agree. I have two boys, 5 and 30 months and a third on the way. I took the advice from friends of mine that were seasoned moms and they said that when they are ready, it will happen in a day. They also told that I could try and potty train my child earlier, but that I would frustrate myself and them. I decided to listen to them and sure enough it happened in a day. When we felt he was getting a little more consistent and ready, we let him pick out his big boy undies and the next day I told him that he could wear them, but only if he remained dry and without poopy in his diaper by after nap time. He did it and that was that. No drawn out training, just boom, one day.
Good luck with it all. My second son is 30 months and is no where ready to potty train, so I won't push it.
T.

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R.S.

answers from Sheboygan on

Our son showed interest young also. But he too took a VERY long time to train and still occasionally has accidents. We went back and forth for a while, he would try and be a "big boy" (his words) then he didn't. We would just go with the flow and not get discouraged. I would say it wasn't until he was about 26 months that he really understood and wanted to remain a "big boy".

We did go right to underwear. I had tried the "Feel and Learns" but he would only feel it after he had completely wet them. As for undies, he felt it right away (even though by then it is to late anyhow). We did pull-ups at night because our son is a VERY sound sleeper. He will not wake up to go to the bathroom (and still doesn't). We often times have to catch him in between sleep cycles when he is turning around and remind him to go potty. Some nights are good and others not so good.

As for out and about, once he went a week at home with no accidents, then we would go potty before we went out. Try again when we got to where we were going and before we left there. I always carried LOTS of extra clothes in the van.

Our neighbor has 6 kids, 3 of each, and has told me over and over, boys do take longer to train. And I found that to be true after training our older daughter.

Good luck.

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J.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

my now 4.5 year old son started showing an interest at 18 months. we encouraged him, but he just wasn't physically ready or really mentally/emotionally ready either. so we let it go. we encouraged him when he was interested, but didn't push. allegedly most boys don't potty train until around age 3, so your son is still really young.

our son potty trained completely on his 3rd birthday. announced he was giving up diapers & was totally night/day trained within a few days. when it's the right time, it's nearly effortless with very few accidents, i think. if you push too early you run the risk of potty training backfiring & it taking AGES for him to feel comfortable/figure it out/etc.

we're now a year & half potty trained with barely enough accidents to count on one hand in that time. so i'd say give him time, encourage when he's interested & don't push him too hard. good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

He is not ready.. I would not even push when he turns 2. If he is showing interest, or was, the best thing you can do is not push!! I would just ask him every morning when its time to get dressed if he would like a diaper or big boy underware. Let him decide. Boys usually take alot longer then girls but if he is already showing interest, that is wonderful, and very early so you should just go with the flow and let him decide what he wants to do that day. Pushing is the worst thing you can do, that usually only leads to a backfire, unless he is already over 3 years then it is time to be pushing but when they are under two, just go with the flow. Good luck..

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S.W.

answers from Lincoln on

Hello N.,

My daughter didn't potty train until after her 3rd B-Day. From what I hear this is not at all unusual. I believe she understood what she was supposed to do long before that, but was not ready yet. Peer pressure helped. However, the thing that finally did it was I promised to take her to chucky cheese once she used the potty exclusively for 2 full weeks. She was potty trained from 2 weeks from the date. If you want you can buy some training pants, there are even some out there that get cold when wet(they did not work in my case).

Good Luck,
S.

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