Another Post Potty Training Dilema....

Go back to the Mirlax or something that you can continue to give him. (Mineral oil is what they told us to use.) Just keep it in his diet. If he has the kind of system that causes constipation, you need to help him learn how to deal with it on a permanent basis. He will probably always tend to hold it so it is good to just keep him on something that will keep him regular.

Don't discipline him for it. He has enough issues with the process already. Don't add more.

I completely agree with Cassandra, go the natural way with flaxseed. Most American's don't get anywhere close to the amount of fiber that is required for us every day. It's a shame to take over the counter med, when we can just eat better, or mix in the flax seed. In our house, we don't buy any white bread, usually try to look for the highest amount of fiber on the back of pkg. I found that Brownberry, and also Trader Joe's sells with 5g per slice. Check the labels. The kids hated it at first, but now eat it all the time. Also what about beans, and peas? We eat alot of legume soups, again the kids don't like it, and still don't, but they know they have to finish what's given to them. We also don't buy any of the sweetened cereals, again look for high fiber there too. Fiber makes everything pass thru the body, so it comes out "normal", when we don't get the adequate amount of fiber, that's when gas builds up, and very difficult to pass the bm's.

Our pre-school required students to be potty-trained - but only while they were at school. They weren't licensed for kids in diapers. My son was able to wear underwear to school even though he still needed to poop in pull-ups for a good six months after school started. I'm sure that your son will be able to hold it at school, too.

Don't force it or make an issue of it - the last thing you want to do is make it even more uncomfortable for him. For now I'd just talk to him sometime far away from the bathroom and just explain that it's not going to hurt every time and it's ok to relax.

As far as the requirement to enter preschool and being potty trained, is this a private or public preschool? If it is a public preschool (receives federal funding dollars), the requirement to be potty trained is not legal. The preschool is required to make "reasonable accomodations" for the child. In other words, if your child should have a bm while in school, you (or someone you authorize) would have to come to school to change your child's pull-up. Does your son have the ability to get dressed independently and change his pull-up/pants should they get wet? Please don't fret, every child is different. There's two things we can't control, what goes in and what comes out!! Good luck.

Dietary solutions to constipation can help your son more than anything. Introducing essential fatty acids (EFA's) into his diet will help his stools to be more consistent. Google on "natural solutions to constipation" and see what comes up. If you could resolve this issue, your problems will be over. Constipation is not normal ~ i.e., it isn't part of who he is. There is something you are missing in his diet that will end his worries forever.

Hi R. - my daughter had the same experience so i empathize completely with him and you; stressful stuff. We also did not want to go back to pull ups and wanted her to start preschool but neither happened on our time frame (but something better always works out!).
We worked on the diet and eventually started back up with the miralax and it got things going again. She mostly goes on the potty now although it goes in ebs and flows; at times she withholds or goes in her pants or in the potty. If it is her pants I make no comments (my husband gets fairly irritated about her pooping in her pants so i mostly help her with that part). If i could change one thing i would change that i have not always been patient with her - as i am sure i add to her stress by rushing things and repeatedly asking questions about it.
She really enjoys the book Everyone Poops.
I try to remember the pain she goes thru when she is so contipated - if you had your boys vaginal, think of the first BM you had after giving birth - that always gets me in the best mindset.

Good luck - you are doing great!

Drinking lots of juice also helps with constipation.

I would probably put him back on the Miralax. My son was on it for about 3 years. I would have preferred to change his diet instead of relying on the Miralax, but that didn't work. I know from experience it takes time, but it will work out. Unfortunately, perhaps not in time for preschool in August. You may need to look into other arrangements. My son is now 8 and the constipation days are mostly over, but we still need to make sure he sits on the potty regularly. He often won't take the initiative to just go himself when he needs to go. I wouldn't push your son or punish him though--that usually just makes them hold it more and holding it is the worse thing he can do. I've heard some pretty bad stories about that. Sometimes they also end up going in their pants because they just can't hold it anymore. My son had problems with that. Good luck.

Once you have the constipation part back on track so that it won't hurt you might try this. My son seemed afraid of pooping in the potty, but really wanted to be a "big boy" so I tried to make it fun and silly. I would sit in the bathroom with him and we would make loud grunting sounds or say things like "good-bye poopy". It made him laugh and then he relaxed and was able to go. My husband would look at us like we were crazy, but now he goes in the potty by himself.

Well, I wouldn't push it. I know you have that deadline for preschool looming over your head and it's stressing you out. But honestly I think you have a better chance of it resolving if you just let him get over it on his own. At least you have the benefit of him being successful for 4 months so he got to experience the pride that comes along with doing potty like a big kid. So, he's had a set back. We've all had them, and it will pass. But the more you focus on it and make it an issue, the more he'll likely dig in his heels. I would just tell him that you know he wants his pull up again and for now you'll let him but pretty soon, he needs to go like a big boy again and he can let you know when he's ready. Then maybe 2x a week, I might nonchalantly ask "so is today the day you might be ready?" If he says no, just say "Okay, maybe next week." Let him have some control over it and it's likely to go away faster. Good luck.

Before he can get over his poop-phobia, the constipation issues have to be cleared up. Every single day, he has to be eating and drinking foods that will make his stools soft and frequent. If he continues to need meds, too, so be it. Until this is no longer a source of anxiety for him, let him go in a Pull-Up. Once he can relax and know that pooping isn't going to be painful, move him over to the toilet.

A couple of tablespoons of flax seed is an incredible source of fiber. It bakes well in breads and muffins, and can be sprinkled on yogurt, cereal, or ice cream.

I would also look into if his bottom is sore and he needs some meds to clear it up. Sometimes, the rectum can get tears from big/hard B.M.s, and there are suppository medicines out there to help heal the area. If his bottom is sore, it's going to be painful for a long time, without meds.

IMHO, if pooping is still problematic come fall, well, he's not ready for preschool, then. So many people post on here because their 3 y.o. isn't completely potty trained, and they have to be in order to go to preschool to join some activity. If they're not ready, they're not ready.

Oh, please do not give your boy consequences. I would suggest talking with the Dr. and putting him back on the stool softener. Lots of water and high fiber food would also help.

I feel for your little guy!
Constipation is awful. It seems he needs to feel safe that his poops aren't going to hurt him.

My 1 year old had constipation issues from birth, (and so have I!) so I've found many natural ways to make it all "move".

We eat a lot of prunes and dates and raisins, and mix prune juice into smoothies, or just pour it over ice. Lentils work like magic. We eat lots of pinto, kidney and black beans. Also, I PUSH water on my kids. I hold up their sippy cups and tell them to "drink like a gerbil". It gets them to drink and we get a few giggles out of it, too.

Good luck! The preschool thing will be OK. It sounds like he may be the kind of kid who likes to poop at home, anyway.