How's that for a title?
So yesterday we went up to Columbia to be with Dad and Mom while they were educated on radiation treatments.
Some of you know, Dad (my father-in-law) was recently diagnosed with stage 4a thoracic cancer. He has cancer in his lungs (despite the fact that he quit smoking and chew back in '82), in his ribs, by the sternum, wrapped around his descending aorta, and wrapped around his left corina (air tube that goes to the lung). It's not good.
On the way there, my husband got a phone call. A JOB OFFER for a job he actually wants! After being unemployed for 9 months, applying to jobs everywhere and finding ZILCH....he is offered his dream job...a clinic manager for a behavioral health clinic. He'll be using his experience as a manager AND his degree field (marriage and family therapy). We've prayed for SO long for this job and were elated to get this call.
We arrive in Columbia and go by The Peace Nook, a granola-y shop that smells of Nag Champa and sage and sells everything from books to bags crocheted from old plastic shopping bags to pipes. I had to buy a new Diva Cup and wanted to buy locally. :-) Love that shop. We decided that we should bring SD there for her birthday...she's 19 and SUCH a free spirit.
Then we went to Kaldi's Coffee. My favorite coffee house in the city. We sat and enjoyed a few cups of coffee, talked about the new job, me finishing my degree, hubs getting his license for therapy again...it was nice.
Then off to the hospital to meet Mom and Dad. They didn't know we were coming, so they were happily surprised to see us. Being wrapped in Dad's hug brought me such happiness. I don't know how odd this sounds, and really don't care...but when God brought me my husband, he also brought me the most wonderful family. They accepted me like a real daughter...something that I've never really had in my life. I love them. Dad is the Dad I've always wanted, since I was little...and Mom is just like a younger version of my Grandma (who passed away in 2001) who basically raised me. Visiting with them is a balm for my heart.
Listening to the doctors talk about treatment was so....odd. They're treating him to extend his life, not save it,. Not even talking about treatment as if there is even a CHANCE of saving his life. This is so very strange for me. I've been in the medical field for 7 years and have never dealt with terminal illness. It's like my brain just won't accept it as a possibility. I know logically that it is...but then I refuse it. No, I say...there's still a chance to beat this thing, right?! Right?!?! I find myself pissed that the doctors aren't even considering the possibility...even though I logically understand why.
After saying goodbye (there were lots of laughs, no tears, and the doctor even stood with us as my husband led prayer), we drove home in near silence. I put on my sunglasses to let a few tears go. And then my husband pulls into McDonald's (we rarely do) for a Coke and fries. I cried in the drive-thru...feeling guilty and hiding my tears because my sweet husband has been so stoic...and it's HIS Dad.
The rest of the night goes as usual, but a little quieter. We held one another silently a few times. And when we went to bed...neither of us could fall asleep. It was such a roller-coaster day that we were both reduced to insomniacs. We went to bed at 9, decided to watch a show (50 minutes), did a devotion (20 minutes), prayed, and then tried to fall asleep. And we just lay there awake. Finally I got up and got us a couple of melatonins. We slept after that....dream-filled, weird sleep. I woke before the alarm and lay there.
I don't even know how to feel today. Tired. Happy. Sad. Angry. Loved. Scared.
I guess this isn't a question. I better think of one.
Does anyone have a good joke? I could use a good joke.
They should have had the Super Bowl at Motel 6, at least they would've left the lights on for us.
:D
Blessings to you and yours
Hugs to you and your hubby. It's sad when the doctors talk about treatment and quality of life instead of cure. I think in our heart we're all little kids who are hoping for a cure even when one doesn't exist. It's hard to wrap your head around a life that doesn't include someone important. I hope your family spends a lot of time creating memories that will comfort you after your fil passes.
Here's a funny story since you asked for one:
My oldest grand daughter is in a daisy troop. It's girl scout cookie time. Since there are no girl scouts in their town (very small town and the troop is actually in the next town over) Annie has been taking her order forms everywhere because most people don't have access to order cookies.
2 weeks ago she was at the library and everyone was ordering cookies. The librarian's husband was watching and joked with Annie that he'd like to order cookies but "since they are called girl scout cookies they are probably just for girls." Annie turns her back to the guy, puts her hand over the words girl scout at the top of the form, turns back around and tells him "Well you are lucky because these are man scout cookies."
We're thinking if she can think that fast at age 6 she'll grow up to run for political office or be a used care sales person.
I'm not speaking from personal experience or anything, but I have to think that "by the toe" is the worst possible way to catch a tiger.
Here's my favorite:
A man walked into a psychiatrist's office wearing only cellophane. The doctor said, "I can clearly see you're nuts."
A rollercoaster, indeed my friend. In all directions. Very sorry to hear about your FIL. I have one I adore, too. It always is hard when you have so many highs and lows at once. Take each as they come, and ride them as strong as you can.
I've never been good at telling jokes, but I am sending you lots of smiles and laughter today to cheer you along.
Your FILs docs are painting the true picture. What you describe is not surviveable. They are not going to give you hope when they know there is none. I am so sorry. Just went thru the same thing with my best friend who passed away in June. Life is a roller coaster. Happy for your husband. Sad for your FIL and family. Hugs. You will get thru this. Lost four friends n my aunt between June 4 and August 6. Three cancer, one who lived with me for 9 months. One heart attack and one from a fall. Just be there for your FIL while he transitions.
C. Lee:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}} to you.
I am sooo sorry about this situation with our father in law. Prayers being sent your way...
CONGRATULATIONS to your husband!! YAHOO!!!
here's your joke:
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.... Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.
Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
