Ok, so the question I have struggled with as a parent, is would I let my 15yr old audition for something like American Idol? Do you think at this age they are emotionally mature enough to handle the pressure or be in the spotlight like this? I do not think I would be able to do it personally. I really see the controversy in the decisions when I see young ones like on this season when they dropped it to 15 and how hard they take the critiques and being in the bottom etc. So, do you put your child's dreams and talents before their emotional health and let them go for it or stike a deal with them to wait and help prepare them in the meantime?
I am talking about a NATIONAL sometimes world wide spotlight on them like that of American Idol, not a more localized venue.
My son is 4, but we are musical fam so this may actually one day be something I do have to deal with ... but honestly what would you do?
I can't fathom any of my kids wanting to when they're older-if they've got my hermit artist genes, but their dad is a performer so maybe-but absolutely. If they were bold enough to want to, then who am I to stop them? That could be a great confidence booster and skin thickener rolled into one no matter what happens. Would I ever MAKE them or PUSH them to do it?
No way.
when they are 18 they can make that decision on thier own. I am not going to take their child hood of being a normal child away from them.
Your son has a long way to go until 15, and these kinds of shows may have run their course by then. I would stop worrying about it until it's something to worry about. Then, when the time comes you/he can decide.
That said, if he is talented and confident enough, just think how much more so he would be a few years later.
I am trying to figure out how fifteen and four equate. Is the child expressing interest now? at any rate, by that time, should it still be on and if he/she would like to do it and they are strong willed, talented and do not mind being critiqued then of course of course! If you look at the background of some current judges or whomever serves to judge on a variety of these critique shows, they are also people who kept fighting to get where they would like to be(Jennifer Lopez? for ex.) Personally, in my life, no, I do not appreciate that type of show it is the type of show my personality wouldn't be able to take or some of my loved ones. I would prefer to sing in the church choir and enjoy being able to use a gift from God without feeling as though someone's opinion must make it okay. That is just how I am.
If my daughter had wanted to compete in a national talent show, I would have let her.
I would NOT have let her compete in beauty pageants.
My daughter is not musical, but is an artist. She now attends an Arts High School here in MN...The Perpich Center for Arts Education. They have 5 areas of arts...Theater, Music, Literary Arts, Media Arts and Visual Arts (my daughters area). Much of the 300 students in grades 11 and 12 are VERY talented. The kids go thru quite a process to get into the school and many of them dorm there (its only for MN residents) and live away from their families. Quite a few of them come from small communities, so it is a HUGE change for them. The school is right outside of Minneapolis proper. These kids and parents are already putting themselves in a critical position and pressure filled place to succeed and excel in their areas just during the application process for this place. For my child, it is THE PERFECT place for her, as compared to her regular high school environment. This is the case for many of these kids.
As far as my own child's Art and getting criticized, etc....she enters art shows/contest with some regularity now as the request and pushing of teachers. There is judging and failure and also great success. And remember, art, singing, etc, is a very subjective thing for people to judge and offer opinions on. Not everyone likes the same thing! But I am not going to hold my child back, if she wants the experience (and my child is very inward and sensitive, cries easily, not assertive, etc), I support her every inch of the way.
If during a process of judging, etc, my child were to say ENOUGH...I would say OK, we are done. Why wouldn't I? I sure would try to reason with her, calm her down, see what set it off and see if we can get thru it. But if quitting is what will keep her emotionally healthy, I would support that too.
How is this different than those "mainstream" kids who play sports, parents push them and don't let them quit before a big game or whatever...theres pressure and criticism, etc....
If my DD were really passionate about it, then I would let her do it. If someone is seriously wanting to pursue a career in the music industry, they're going to have to learn how to handle rejection, criticism, performing in front of others, how to have stage presence, etc., anyway. Even if they don't win, it's great exposure & a great way to find out what the business entails.
There is a huge difference between a 5 year old & a 16 year old pursuing a career in the entertainment industry. Good parenting has a lot to do with how your child turns out, whether or not they are famous. I think a lot of the celebrity kids that ended up in trouble, would've had issues, regardless.
I don't think Lauren is taking it any harder than the older ones. Look at the whole Pia fiasco. I read she practically had to be carried off the stage by paramedics. I think that it's just really emotional in the moment and emotions are a part of life. I would let my child do it.
I think Denise's answer is terrific! If you set expectations for 18 then that will be the rule.
I don't think any child should be in the spot light like that. Seriously if it's not 100% failure, it's pretty close. Look at all the child stars we've seen. They're brats, they are failures as adults, they are drug addicts, or they are dead.
I would never choose that for my child.
And that's assuming that they are a part of the less than .5% of the population that actually gets somewhere. It's more likely that they will not be on the top, which means you're setting them up for rejection.
Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me.
There are local opportunities to let her perform if that is her desire without putting her in a situation that most adults couldn't handle well much less a child. There are high school musicals, there are open mike nights at panera, there are local theater groups that perform various genres of music, there are vocal coaches. If she still has the bug when she reaches age of majority let her go for it as long as she has a strong back up plan. Please don't take the idea of having a backup plan as an insult to a music profession as I believe we all should have a backup plan of what we would do/could do should our current path in life not be everything we thought it would be. But the thing we are most passionate about should be our first attempt.
I would say it depends on how talented the kid actually is (like, is this realistic?), how mature he is, how thick-skinned he is, and how much HE really wants to do it.
Personally, I don't think it is possible to make the decision until you know what your child is like at that age. Each child is so different and some are so confident, mature and responsible at that age. It would also depend on his musical activities up to that point....has he been on stage already...is he a practiced musician in a band? I would wait and understand him and what he wants.. and then feel confident in his decision to audition if he so desires. Seems to me that anything kids at any age audition for whether in school, extracurricular, or beyond would be a lot of pressure....but if it was important to him and he was confident and talented, would you want to prevent him from trying? Stopping him from challenging himself or moving forward with a dream? If he doesn't want to audition, then this is a lot of wasted energy. :) I would focus on supporting him now and whatever he decides to do/be in his future. Good luck...enjoy him..15 will be here before you know it. :)
