There is an American Idol type contest in our area. My SD wants to try out, she wants to be a singer.
She thinks she is a great singer. When she sings for our family, everyone tells her how great she is—but that’s what family does, right? Personally I think she’s okay. She sings out of tune sometimes and her voice is high-pitched and a little grating. Still, we always try to encourage anything that she wants to do so I’ve never said anything to her and just gave her positive encouragement to keep practicing.
We can’t afford singing lessons, they are very expensive. Right now we have her in dance, and she is a VERY naturally talented dancer. I hate to pull her out of dance to take singing lessons when she is such a good dancer and enjoys that just as much as singing. I’ve just gently tried to steer her toward dancing. She’s already in a dance class with older kids because she’s so good. I can’t pull her out for even a small time because she won’t get to be in the recital if she’s not enrolled in the class continuously. She’s really looking forward to the recital.
She also tried out for a local kids’ musical production once where there was singing and dancing and she didn’t get any singing parts, she got a dance role.
She’s dying to do this contest. I’m so afraid that she will get up there and someone is going to tell her the truth about her singing. This will crush her. I have been hoping all this time that she’d eventually give up her ideas about singing and focus on dancing where her true talents are. I don’t like the American Idol type of contest with the voting and the judges. I don’t think they are going to be rude to the kids there, but you never know. I fear she’s like those people who try out for American Idol and truly think they are great singers when they are really tone deaf.
Should I let her do the contest? Should I make up an excuse to not let her do it? Should I be honest and tell her that her singing needs work? Like I said, she THINKS she's a great singer. And she won't listen to any small suggestions I have made, she just tells me "this is the way I want to do it."
I don’t think anyone should tell another they can’t do something—people with no feet can win races, people who are blind can play piano, heck, Beethoven was DEAF! Look how popular Britney Spears is, all she does is sing into a computer. (Not that I want my SD to be anything like Britney Spears!!!) She tells me that when she grows up she wants to be a famous singer, but when I suggest quitting dance to take lessons she freaks out because she loves dance too. I’m just not sure what to do. She is 9.
Thanks mamas, as always!
I read the rules of the contest and its for 4th through 6th graders. There will be judges, but the winner will be based on audience votes. I can't imagine that the judges would be hard on those aged kids, I just hope the audience behaves.
I'm going to let her do it. If she truly loves singing then she'll continue no matter how she does. If she's truly meant to be a singer, then this will just push her to practice more if she doesn't win. If she's NOT meant to be a singer, then if she does poorly she'll just quit. And if she does well it may encourage her to practice more! I'm seeing now how this could be a great opportunity for her. Right now she sees Hannah Montana on TV and thinks that's how it would be (what little girl doesn't?) This will give her a taste of how it really is. She's never been on stage before in front of a big audience, only family members. I think this will be a great opportunity to see what being on stage is like.
Thanks mamas!
I wouldn't say anything to her and just let her enter the contest. This might be a good way to learn that she doesn't have the best singing voice. Just make sure you talk to her about if she is sure she wants to do it because judges aren't always nice, etc. And then just be there for her afterwards if she needs a shoulder to cry on.
"I don’t think anyone should tell another they can’t do something."
You answered your own question. Let her be in the contest. Who knows what will happen? Maybe she'll do well, maybe she'll flop. It's okay if kids are disappointed every once in awhile. The main point is that she will never know unless she tries.
Let her go.............Be there to have her back NO MATTER WHAT. Support her.
You never know....at least she tried.
Is there a community children's choir in your area? Not sure if they have them here in IL, but where I am from they exist and are not expensive to join. The directors can help her work on her voice, at least as far as learning breathing techniques and proper pronounciation and vowel sounds for singing. I have a ton of classmates who are professional singers and other musicians, and they all have choir in common. Some are contemporary singers, some classical, but all are so happy to be doing something that they love.
She's nine? Be sure she's doing this for fun and not because she has her heart set on being spotted by a talent scout. Nine is a little young for mapping out career plans. Nine is also too young to start voice training, in many teachers' opinions. Nine IS fine for trying things out and enjoying herself.
If she's willing to do this just for fun, make sure she understands that the judges will tell her both good things and bad things about her performance. Unless she's willing to listen to the bad things, too, she's not ready for this sort of contest.
Then let her try, if she must. Her attitude at the end of the competition needs to be, "I'm glad I tried this!" Let her know you're glad, too.
(I DO hope the judges will take the contestants' ages into consideration in the way they respond!)
Let her go. If not she'll be upset with you. If she's not that good, she deserves to know, maybe they'll tell her what to work on etc. You don't want her to be like 18 and think she's some great singer if she's not.
