Am I Right, or Is My Hubby Right?

Updated on June 22, 2008
S.T. asks from Aurora, CO
14 answers

We have a 2 year old daughter who sleeps very well in her crib. She has never tried to crawl out or anything. I feel that she could handle moving into a "big girl" bed - the one we picked is a three sided day bed, so when the guard is up, it should feel like a large crib. My husband feels like if she is sleeping great in her crib, why "rock the boat?" He thinks it's too early, and we should wait. Who is right? Him or me? I am having a hard time answering this because I feel like we both have great points. I just don't want to wait too long...maybe making that transition earlier will make it easier? Advice from you moms would be great! Thanks

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

I think 2 is a great age to transition. If you wait until she crawls out then it is an immediate need to change her over for her safety and it may be harder. Kids don't like change a whole lot and getting her in her own big girl bed before potty training is a GREAT thing to do. Have a bed rail to kind of simulate a crib for her. There is not right or wrong really but I think you are smart to want this to go ahead and get it done with. I moved both of my kids into big kid beds by 26 mos and they both did fabulous! The longer you wait or the bigger deal you make out of it the harder it can be later. You don't want to do in in the midst of potty training either as that can be too many changes at once.
Good luck.

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M.R.

answers from Boise on

From the mom who thought that it wouldn't hurt since mine was 3 already and still not climbing out, I have to agree with your hubby on this one. Our daughter was thrilled with her new big girl bed for about the first week or two. Now at midnight every night she joins us in our bed. If I put her back in hers she's up again and in our bed. It goes on and on. If we keep her in her room she screams until we let her out. The longest we could take it was from midnight to 5am, she barely stopped to breathe and we finally gave up to get a couple hours of sleep. I am so tired and longing for the crib again but we gave it to friends for their baby.

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I agree with your husband, moving them earlier doesn't make the transition easier, just creates new problems. If she hasn't outgrown the crib there is no reason to move her. Sorry, I know that isn't what you wanted to hear :).

One word of caution about day beds, make sure there is NO gap between the mattress and the railing/wall, I had a friend who lost there toddler when her head slid between the rail, mattress and wall, this was a few years ago so they are most likly better, but I like to send a little caution out to any parent thinking of them!

Good luck on your great debate !!

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B.

answers from Boise on

We waited until our oldest 2 were each 3 (or just about 3) before we transitioned them to a "big boy" bed (Twin bed). That was just right for mine.

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K.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Have you asked her? Many two year olds have strong opinions of their own.

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L.E.

answers from Denver on

I have 4 children, do not do it yet. I agree 'do not rock the boat'. One transition that our two yr. old is doing now, is her crib side is down low. She gets in and out on her own. We are doing the big girl bed later this Summer. She's had the crib side down for about 3 months, she still gets out in the middle of the night from 0 - 4 times. I wouldn't do it, if she is comfortable and loves her crib.

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K.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I think your husband is right. Moving to a big bed is a hard transition for little kids no matter when you do it. If she's still sleeping fine and not trying to climb out and potentially hurt herself, I say leave her where she is.

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

We switched before two with both of our boys with no problem. The second we did because the crib was needed again. He switched at about 20 months and loves it. He feels like such a big boy. Our first was around 2 and didn't seem to mind. I think it really depends on the child Earlier seems easier to me, but that's just me. I'd ask her what she thinks of her new bed and ask her where she'd prefer to sleep. As we have very little room and don't plan to move for a while #3 is going to be in a crib for a very long time without another option. Every kid is different.

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

I think there are some other issues to think about.
1) Can she open doors
2) Does she get into things
3) Do you think if she woke up early, she would get into things while everyone is asleep (we had a ketchup incident with our oldest)

I do think that making the transition early could be easier. Sometimes it's best to prevent the problem instead of waiting until you have to deal with it. I can imagine that if your little girl is obedient and listens to you well, you could switch her now and get into a good routine before she gets too opinionated and terrible-twoish. Right now, my 2 year old is opinionated, doesn't listen, and fights bed and nap-times. Now is not a good time for us to address a new bed for him! Besides, today, even while Daddy was home with him, he got into the fridge and ate 4 cartons of yogurt before I came home and caught him. That would happen every morning if he weren't in a crib!
I also agree that you could ask your daughter. When I converted oldest son's crib into a toddler bed, he woke up every night screaming by his door. I put the side back on and we all slept well for a few more months. Then we put a guest bed in his bedroom, and I saw him eying it. I asked him if he wanted to sleep in the big bed, he nodded, and that was it! it's amazing how willing they are to be obey new rules (for sleeping in a big bed, like if you wake up and it's dark, go back to sleep. if it's light, come wake up mommy) when it's their idea.

Oh, and one more thing that I hadn't thought of, but someone mentioned it. Potty Training! yeah, they really need to be able to get up in the middle of the night to go potty on their own, so you'll need to get her out of a crib before you start that. Dang, I guess that means I need to get my 25 month old out sooner than i thought!
Good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I'm going to play devils advocate for a sec...does either one of you have to be right? sounds like you are both right, and neither of you are wrong to me. they can both be good answers. the real question would be what is best for your daughter. What does she think? my dd asked for a bed just before she turned 2. Kids are often smarter than we give them credit for. I also took my dd to pick out her bed, so it was her choice. not mine. I helped to guide the decision by price but other than that I left it up to her. we got a great bed at IKEA that we both love. one other thing that was a concern on out list for our dd was would she roll off a bed? we put her mattress on the floor for a while--that way she didn't have far to roll if she did. it happened a couple of nights--she doesn't roll off her bed. it has small sides on it but nothing like the crib. at 2 they are starting to learn more independence--are you ready for that? maybe part of your husbands reluctance is giving up the crib means he is letting his baby go? I would sit down together and address the issue without an agenda of who is write or wrong but instead what will be the best for our daughter right now and list the pros and cons of both beds and see what outweighs the other. emotions are high when it comes to letting our babies grow up--how fast, how much...I know it is hard on my dh to see his baby a little girl. He loves her as a little girl but he misses his baby. just some things to think about. the best non answer you'll get! haha.

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M.N.

answers from Denver on

We transfer our dd about 20 months and she was excited. The transition was very easy and we have a routine but we do lay with her when she asks us and we do have a dvd player and tv in there so she can watch a little tv or listen to music. But when she gets up through the nights she comes to us and we put her back into her room. ( My dd is very opinionated and independent everything her terms). My friend took her dd out and let her pick out the bedspread and sheets tomake it more personal and she hasn't had an issue either. I would just ask the child if they want a new bed and see what they say.

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K.B.

answers from Denver on

I agree with you on this one. My husband wanted to keep waiting for our 2 yr old and she ended up climbing out of her crib and could have possibly fallen and gotten seriously hurt. No matter when you change beds, it will be a big transition. I just think it's easier when you don't have other problems to deal with at the same time as climbing out of bed (whether it be a crib or big girl bed). The only thing I suggest is letting that be the ONLY transition in her life at the time. Ours came shortly after her baby sister was born and life was VERY rough for a few months. Good luck to you.

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B.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi S.,
It looks like you are getting opinions on both sides of this one so here is mine. I would wait a little longer. If your daughter is just 24 months and she is still sleeping well in the crib there really is no reason to rush. One Mom had a good point about climbing out of the crib but you know your child and if that is something she would do. Neither of mine ever attempted that. There really is no harm in keeping her where she is for another 3-6 months. That much time is huge in the development of a child.
Take care,
B.

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J.L.

answers from Denver on

We had no indication that our 2 year old would try to get out of her crib. On the night before she turned 2 her dad put her in the crib and she was not ready to "go down" yet. SHe was crying and the next thing we heard was a thud and a louder cry. Luckily, she wasn't seriously hurt. I would admit being lazy and keeping her in the crib. We have a 3rd on the way and I was with your husband. Don't rock the boat. Well, she decided and she could have been seriously hurt. Her big sister was in a single bed at 18 months pending her arrival. We still have issues with getting her to stay in her bed but I blame Mommy and Daddy. Not her. I know being consistant with getting her to stay in her bed is not her fault ours. Since the 2 year old has gotten out of her bed they are sharing the single bed for now and the 4 year old is staying her bed more. So don't be lazy and start transitioning now. good luck.

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