Am I Really Considered. "Babysitter" or a Nanny!?

Get paid in advance. Monday morning for Monday and Tuesday. If she doesn't pay in full then you can't watch her child.

As for how much, I would call around and find out how much it would cost her for the same care at local inhome daycares and charge her that much per month, paid up front each month, with no care provided passed the first week of any one month until they have paid. You need to lay it all out in a contract and have it signed, with exactly what will happen if they do not stick to the terms (i.e., warning first time, termination of care after that ect).

If you feel that the child is an inconvenience to you, it is time to end the caring. No one is putting a gun to your head to continue. Get your money caught up and then give her a good 2 to 3 weeks notice to find another sitter.

Your life with your own children does not allow you to give this other child the attention it needs to grow and thrive. It is a disservice to both. So go ahead and end it. Summer is coming up and you will have your hands full with your own. You say you are pooped now, what will you be all summer long? If you don't need the money don't sit for her. It is only 2 days a week.

Life is too short for such drama. I know you want to help but sometimes people don't see it that way and take advantage of you. So end it now while you are on polite terms and not resenting each other.

the other S.

Going against the grain, but to me it sounds like you've got a good gig - youget to take care of your own children, run your errands, etc., while making some extra money. Babies take time, surely with your own 4 you knew that. If the baby were mine I'd be quite upset that my sitter was uoset at having to pay attention to my child. Unless your pay is really low or you don't need it, I wouldn't say anything except about leaving - for that I agree with handing her the baby log and tell her you can discuss the next day, then continue on to your kitchen. But honestly, I think it's normal to spend a few minutes going over the day, even if she can read about it in the log. It sounds to me like you realky just don't have the capacity to take care of another baby, so I would have a conversation with the parents that you'lk watch her for another month to give them time to find soneone new.

Normally I would pay a sitter $10 an hour. HOWEVER - that's for someone who is doing NOTHING but care for my children, preferably in my home. I would not pay a childcare provider that much to also watch her own children, run errands, and cook the family dinner. For $10+ an hour, you'd be on my clock and not yours, kwim? If you were working in a daycare center, you'd be paying for your own children to also be cared for at the center. If you were running a daycare out of your home, you wouldn't be cooking dinner or running errands or bringing your older kids to and from school and activities. You would either do those before and after work or would pay someone else to do them for you.

When my kids were at a center (which was several years ago as the youngest is now 8) infant care was appx $60 a day for a 9-hour day or under $7 an hour. I think that because you're caring for your own children, running errands, etc that something in that range is the max you should charge.

As far as whether you are doing "too much" to care for the baby, no. I think you are doing what I would expect of any child care professional- you are meeting the baby's needs. If you don't want to do that, don't take the job.

As for the rest of it, you need to set out your expectations for everything very clearly, in writing. This includes your pay, hours, what you provide, what they provide, etc. If they don't want to meet any of your requirements, you just say that you will watch the baby for 2 weeks, a month, whatever, until they can find someone else.

Child care is hard work. If you are going to do it, do a good job and hold the parents to a specific agreement. If you don't want to do it, don't. Don't let resentment build up toward the baby because of her parents' actions.

And on talking at the end of the day, my daycare provider has a great method of letting me know when it's a "no chat" day. She has everything ready to go at the door, meets me at the door with my kiddo, ushers him out, hands me his bag, says thanks, see you tomorrow, message received. If it is a "chat" day- oh hi, come in, he's just finishing up a snack, let me show you a pic of my nieces, etc etc.

the first sitter we had for our first baby probably had very similar complaints. since we were young and clueless, we were pretty fuzzy on the particulars of just how it worked. fortunately for us our sitter was very firm (and usually kind- sometimes she was clearly annoyed, but i don't blame her) on what was expected, and when.
if the baby isn't dropped off on time, tell the mom when she shows up 'mary, if you're going to be late (or early) you need to shoot me a text and let me know so i can adjust my schedule accordingly. thanks!'
if you're home, why does it matter if the baby is picked up early? but if it bothers you, see above.
hanging around and yakking while you're trying to get dinner ready would make me nut up too, so don't drop hints. be clear. 'sorry, mary, i don't have time to chat today. check the baby log and email me if you have any questions, and i'll answer them when i'm not up to my ears in alligators.' (you do keep a baby log for her, right?)
as for the payment schedule, that's for YOU to set up, and her to adhere to. and if she doesn't, a very serious tone needs to be taken. 'mary, my daycare runs on my being paid in advance. when you bring amelia on monday, i need the check for monday and tuesday then, that morning. thanks for your cooperation.'
what i'm not clear on is whether a payment schedule was ever established. if she's always paid you the following week, you can't expect her to intuit that you no longer find it acceptable.
as to being underpaid, that's still a conversation you need to have, in a pleasant, businesslike tone. but don't whine or complain at her, treat her like any other business associate in which a fee needs to be renegotiated. this is especially true if you feel this baby is so high maintenance that you need extra compensation for holding her and so forth.
since the baby comes to you, and you watch her with your kids, you're a babysitter. or daycare provider if you find 'babysitter' offensive (i myself would not.) nannies provide care in the employer's home.
your situation sounds eminently fixable. simply be clear and firm, don't apologize, and don't sound accusatory. it's pretty normal for new parents (assuming this is their first) to take a little time to figure out how it works. help her out.
khairete
S.

Why would it matter whether you are considered a babysitter or a nanny? Whatever name you go by, sounds like you need to discuss some house rules with this parent, and make some decisions on what will work best for your family/ her family/ this child.

When we had a manny, he provided care in our home while we were at work. We hired and paid him for 1/2 an hour extra on either end, so that we could chat about the day and expectations and have a few moments to ourselves before being fully responsible for the baby.

Best,
F. B.

I would suggest that maybe you are not a good fit for this particular baby/family.
I had my older child in daycare centers most of her life, which was a great fit for us. I could drop her off whenever I wanted after opening and pick her up whenever I wanted as long as it was before closing. Sounds like this mom is looking for that kind of arrangement.

For a six month old's daycare I would expect the provider to always be in sight of the child and vice versa and pick the child up and hold her as much as feasible. That is what you are being paid for. You may try a carrier for hands free baby-wearing - that may make your life easier.

When I am paying someone to take care of my child, frankly I don't care about their household chores, errands or food prep. Getting reports at the end of the day is also expected - even if you have dinner to make.
Think about it this way: you may be working in your home, but it is still paid work you are doing and if you feel you aren't paid enough, you need to demand more or quit.

About being paid - you need to step up for yourself and demand payment upfront, period. It is far from unusual to pay for a daycare provider's time commitment (basically you pay for the spot) whether you utilize the time or not. Late pick ups are not acceptable to most providers and incur steep fines in many places (being charged by the minute). Now honestly from a home-provider I would expect a little flexibility, but I would also certainly expect that you charge for any extra time on top.

I think you should also be honest with yourself here. Maybe taking care of a stranger's infant is a bit more than you can handle with all the other responsibilities you have. I am not saying this to be mean, but don't we all bite off a little more than we can chew at times and then regret it? I certainly do. Rather than being bitter and stressed about the situation I would suggest that this just isn't a good fit for you at this point, give the mom ample notice to make other arrangements and quit.

Good luck.

It doesn't sound like you want to do this anymore because really a lot of your complaints don't make sense.

You get paid for two days every week. Sure one of the days was from the week before but complaining about it would only change your pay for one week then you are still getting paid for two days a week.

A fair few parents won't let a childcare provider drive their kids around yet she allows that so that you can tend to your own kids, that is actually a perk that most discount for. Dropping off and picking up early is normal but you need to tend to your own kids so you may not be home. If you are setting schedules like this you have to be flexible with the pay.

Then you complain that she stays too late....

I would tell them it is too stressful and they need to find someone new. It is not their fault that 'you' cannot handle this. They shouldn't have to pay more because of that.

I don't know what or why it matters if you are babysitter or nanny.

From what I read in your post, you need a contract (written - NOT verbal) which states when they will drop off/pick up, payment terms, amount of notice given if someone is sick, etc. Also, drop off/pick up time is not a visitation period either... it is your workday and you have to set your rules.

I don't know what you are getting paid, when they do pay you, but I think they are taking advantage of you and only you can put a stop to that behavior. Some people are just takers, believe the world revolves around them and have no clue how to be a responsible adult.

My advice would be to quit and focus on my family and our schedule. It is not worth any amount of money if it takes from your children and family.

What is your contract with them? If you have none, you need to make one. Be clear about your expectations on both ends. You may want to clarify that you are NOT available before x hour, and if they are later than x hour, then the charge is $1 minute late fee. If she's picked up earlier, how does that affect your schedule? You can also tell them that they need to be gone by 6:10 or whenever. Have her ready to go and give them a firm good bye when you are off the clock. Be professional instead of chatty. I would also tell them that they cannot pay willy nilly. If I did not pay our daycare on time, I'd be fined or asked to leave. Don't just "mention". Be firm, and put it in writing where necessary.

If they balk at any of these things, find new clients. Or don't watch the kid, if a child her age is more work than you can handle with your own household.

ETA: it sounds like it worked out OK at first but now your family's needs and the child's needs have changed. If you can't work out something with the parents and really give the baby the attention she needs, then maybe what the parents need is a reference to some other resource so you can focus on your own kids and schedule instead.

For 1 kid that age I'd pay $12/hour--that's what I pay my babysitters.

Babysitters I consider to be occasional caregivers--not regularly scheduled full-day caregivers. I'd call you a PT nanny.

I think you deserve at least $10/hr for your work.

If she wants to pick up early, tell her she must meet you at whatever location you are at. If she wants to drop off late tell her she must be to your house by a certain time, or she can drop off the baby at whatever location you are at. You can't be tethered to your house and shirking other responsibilities because she's flaky.

Whatever your title, you need to be provided with the tools to do what you are being paid to do--reliable schedule and supplies. Decide what that should look like for you, and then discuss.

Keep your lights off, curtains closed, doors locked until you are ready to be "open for business". You might need to set your pay schedule so that you are paid a few days to a week following your service and not necessarily same day. It's not as convenient or clean-cut, but it would give you a schedule that you can depend on. Some (new?) parents don't feed the baby snacks, especially if the child is not in their care all day, so you will likely need to tell them their baby's favorite snack so they can provide it. If you determine that the baby needs a bath or a change of clothes, then you should absolutely provide that. Babies mess up their clothes; it's part of the territory. When they come to retrieve their baby, have her ready to go. Hand her over with a note or quick remark about her day, or set aside about 10 minutes to talk to them. Some parents like/need to discuss in detail the behaviors and moods, etc., of their young children, so be prepared to give them that. They'll also want to share information with you. I was always less likely to forget something if I didn't feel rushed. After that designated time, it's okay to say, "Well, let me start on dinner." That's not a hint, and it's okay to state that you are off to do the next thing. Then, get up and move them toward the door. That's not bad or wrong. That's direct communication.

Wow! You are taking care of 5 kids and 2 of them are babies. That is a lot of work. I would be so tired too. I almost forgot how much work my kids were when they were that age (never wanted to be put down and I had to carry them everywhere). My daughter did not want to be in a carrier, so I had to hold her and not get much done at all.

-The payment part should be easy (in contract and spelled out).
-You have extra variables that are your responsibility and you are fitting the baby into your schedule. A nanny would be on the baby's schedule, so I would not consider you a nanny if you are taking care of your kids while I paid you. It is hard to figure out the pay, because of the fact you are doing your own house work and your own childcare for your kids while being paid. If you went to the baby's house and clean the bottles there and organized the toys in their home, I would consider you more of a nanny. I actually heard another friend tell her babysitter to not get on the phone and text while watching her 4 kids. She paid $10 an hour for 4 kids at her own home (I thought that was really low, but it was a teen babysitter and the kids were age 4 to 8). The sitter was expected to watch the kids and be in the same room and help with homework. She did not do the dishes.

-It sounds like you are doing this family a favor and starting to resent them. I think I would give notice and let them know it is no longer worker for your family. If you don't want to quit, you can look at the plus side. In a few months the baby will get a bit easier when he/she is a toddler (play with your youngest and let you have some time to get your housework done).

In my view, this is something both parties need to agree and understand, which doesn't seem to be the case.

I would say you are a cross between child care provider and sitter/nanny. You are doing this in your own home, yet providing daily on both your terms and the family terms.

To me, a nanny takes care of the families needs. Often, the nanny is authorized to travel with the children, take them to their appointments, see to their needs, and take them to play dates and such. So the nanny may drive the school aged child to their school, pick them up from games, would be on the list for pick ups, has spending cash on hand for the child.

I think what you describe is more so a sitter/child care provider. With that, do they ask you to bath the baby or is this something you feel the baby needs? When you run errands, are they errands to pick up the babies needs from the store or yours?

As for pay, you have agreed on a price and if you would like to change that, you should let them know. I would give them advance notice so they are able to find other care if needed or make a budget adjustment. I wouldn't increase it by much, unless you really no longer have interest in watching the child.

As for them hanging around, I suggest you stay on task and go make your dinner. You could have the bags packed and by the front door within the hour you expect them to pick up.

Why don't you call around your area and find out what in home child care pays for 2 days out of the week. That should give you a good idea of pay.

I think this is an opportunity to assert yourself with a clear written contract. Either continue with the agreed upon price but put it in writing with specifics on the time. Or, decide on a reasonable increase in rate if you feel you are underpaid. To be fair, I would give them a couple weeks before the rate increase in case they want to find care elsewhere.

N., I'm sorry to say this, but YOU are in charge of this mother. You have to show her that.

Call her Saturday and tell her that unless she brings the money she owes on Monday morning, she cannot bring the baby. She will not like it, but you need to tell her that you've discussed this with her several times and she is not respecting your position in regards to payment.

When you are at your child's school and she comes early and tries to put pressure on you, tell her that you will be home at the appointed time. DON'T hurry.

You have to train this woman. If she refuses to be trained, then stop working for her. This is a lot of work. You don't have to do it.

Babysitter, nanny, care provider, doesn't matter, those are just words. Sounds like the bigger issue is that you are not being treated fairly as an employee and it's up to YOU to set your limits and rules. Unless you spell out very clearly what you will/will not do and how and when you expect to be paid then your employer will continue to treat you and your time how they want.
Have a sit down, spell out exactly what you expect and if the family can't agree to you your conditions then let them know they need to find someone else. No way would I work for someone who didn't respect my time and pay me when I expected to be paid.

They are taking advantage of you at this point. You need a formal contract with the parents. I always paid in advance for childcare so you should be getting paid on Monday when they drop off the baby. Also spell it out that pick up is 6 pm and add late fees if they pick up after 6.

As far as getting them out the door give them the scoop on what she did during the day and assist in packing her diaper bag and getting on her coat. Then walk to the door and open it. The longer you let them sit to visit the longer they'll stay. Some people don't take hints well.

Personally, I'd call you a childcare provider, but I don't think it matters what you are called. What I do think matters is that you have a written set of expectations for the parents. If you want example, look around at daycare websites. There are lots out there, and you are basically running an in-home daycare.

You also need to think about what this job is worth to you. If it is worth the $ you are making, then keep doing it. If it's not, either ask for a raise (knowing they might say no because they can't afford it) or tell them you can't do it any more. Yes, they need you, but if you give them enough notice - at least 2 weeks, then they will find someone else.

If your requests to be treated fairly go in one in and out the other, then tell them, politely, that if they can't agree to the expectations that you are writing up (including being paid in advance), you are not going to be able to watch their child anymore. They might decide that they don't want to follow those expectations. That is their prerogative, and if so, they can pull their child from your home and find another childcare provider.

Oh dear. If it were me, I would feel as if I were being taken advantage of. Once in a while a glitch in the plans is all right, but not as a regular thing.

The baby is only doing what babies do! On the other hand, the mama is not too interested in meeting your needs as long as you are meeting hers.

I can't tell you how much you should be paid; however, it's clear you're doing more than a high-school girl would do on a Saturday night.

I don't know what the job title has to do with it, but you'll need to treat this as an important job. Start with the obvious: you'll need to tell the mama she must catch up with her pay to you - and pay on time from now on; if she can't (or won't), she will have to find another employee. If she doesn't do this bit of business, there's really no point in talking to her about respecting your need to attend to your own family, or any of the other issues.

When my nanny had just one of my kids, we paid her $550/week. We now pay her $650/week for 2. I see you are from the Chicago area, and that is pretty standard for rates around these parts... I live on the north side in the city.

She works 7-4 most days, in our home. Does light housekeeping, feeds the kids, takes them out to play, picks up from school, etc....
Everything you're doing, basically.

I pay her a flat weekly rate. We have a contract in which we laid out work hours, vacation time, notice, etc...
If you want to be treated as a nanny, you should behave as one. Nannies have contracts (at least where I am from), and the only issues I ever hear about is from those that don't have an enforce clearly laid out expectations.

For reference, I pay our babysitters (weekend nights out, etc..) $12/hr for 2 kids.

I would quit.
Give them at least 2 weeks advanced notice.
Hand them, a bill, for any unpaid money due to you.

They take advantage of you.
Yet, it seems that you and them do not have any "contract" for your services.

What exactly are you being paid?
You did not say.

Most sitters or daycare facilities, charge like $5 for late pick up, and that is charged per 5 minute increments.
For example.

If you work in your own home you are a babysitter.

If you go, without your own children, to their home every time then you're a nanny.

Babysitters and nannys do the same thing. They care for children and that means doing all they need to be safe and healthy and clean.

Either way you need to claim your income and pay your own taxes on that income.

You are a contract worker regardless of what you are called and therefore responsible for your own business costs and expenses and taxes.

She will likely ask you for you SS# and the end of the year so she can claim her child care expenses on her taxes next year. This is normal.