My husband met up with a friend for lunch, and I’m pretty sure he had a couple of drinks while there. He came home while our 2 year old was napping and went strait upstairs to our bedroom. I was in the living room and accidentally fell asleep. Well when our son woke up, I went upstairs to see what my husband was doing and he kept trying to “feel me up” even when our son walked into the room. He wanted me to get under the covers and so he could secretly play with my lady parts, even though our son was walking around in our room. Because I didn’t want to do that in front of our son, he tried to get him to leave our room so we could have sex. When I turned him down again, we all went down stairs and he kept trying to distract our son so he wouldn’t see us run into another room, and he wanted us to lock him out so we could have sex. I never leave my 2 year old unattended for very long because of the disasters he can and HAS caused. Am I overreacting on all this?
To clarify a few things... yes I am a grown woman, my son was napping when I fell asleep, and yes I wake up as soon as he wakes up. I changed my profile, because I really wanted to delete my account altogether after some of your comments, and I’m sorry that my question was inappropriate to most of you. Please report it if you’d like. Apparently what was going through my mind, was not portrayed correctly in my question.
Are we ignoring the fact that her name is SINGLEMOM but she states in her profile and question that she's married?? Just wondering, haha! This has troll written all over it.
ETA: Agree with you Tori
Personally, I wouldn't post my picture on a website like this discussing my sex life.
Are you saying do you find it unsafe that he'd want to lock your son in/out of a room? I would agree.
Could you not just say "Not now?". Not sure I really understand.
Your husband was trying. Doesn't mean you have to engage. If you felt pressured, tell him you don't appreciate it. Talk to him when he's not under the influence if you felt the drinks affected his judgement.
No offense, but this reminds me of something a teenager would write - secretly play with your lady parts and feel you up? You're an adult and mom. You can handle this I'm sure :)
If you definitely didn't want to, I hope you made it clear to him and didn't just push him off. He needs to know that you won't do anything in front of your son, and your son can't just wander around the house unattended. If you really expressed that to your husband clearly then he needs to get a grip and not try to force you into anything you've already said no to! So no, I don't think you're overreacting, as long as you clearly told him your reasons and didn't expect him to understand without an explanation (I have a few friends who complain about their husbands but don't ever tell them clearly what they're thinking)
what exactly is your issue? You're all over the map.
Your husband is attracted to you, but your son is more important? Your son won't be harmed if you lock your bedroom door and have sex with your husband.
You're an adult. You don't need to say "lady parts". Makes you sound like an immature person.
You DID leave your 2 year old unattended. You fell asleep and admitted it.
Lock your bedroom door.
Teach your son manners.
Give him consequences for making a mess, he's 2 years not 2 months.
Take care of your marriage. Your husband is the one that will be after your son flies from the nest!
Well, when our kids were little we had to get creative with our sex life. The master closet was an interesting place. =)
Look, it get that 2 year olds shouldn't be left alone however, put a video on and you have about 15 minutes.
If you can't or won't do that, then a discussion with Hubby is in order.
If you are a SAHM or do more of the childcare than your husband does, it's quite normal for him to not completely realize that trying to have sex with the 2 year old awake is not going to happen. Heck, having sex with an 8 and 11 year old both awake can be a challenge sometimes :-)
I tend to be the parent with the stricter rules. My husband doesn't always get why things are a big deal. Usually, though, if I have a chance to explain my thought process to him, he realizes why I was right. So it's possible your husband doesn't quite get just how dangerous an unattended 2 year old can be. Talk to him when things are calm, but make sure you tell him that it isn't that you don't want to have sex with him, you just know that it needs to be when your son is asleep.
It's sometime tough keeping the spark alive when the kids are young. Cut your husband some slack. He just wanted to make love to you.
i'm trying to figure out what's bugging you. that he had a couple of drinks? that he was bugging you for sex? that he was sexually charged from drinking, or from being with the friend? or that he was pestering you with your son around?
any one of them could be valid. i'm just trying to suss out what your main issue is.
the fact that your husband doesn't take no for an answer is a big problem. whatever your 2 year old is up to, no should be accepted as no.
so i guess my answer is that no, i don't think you're overreacting. i'm just not sure what it actually is that you're not overreacting to.
khairete
S.
ETA: Another name and location change? What gives? Don't delete your account because you didn't get answers you may have been looking for. You'll get a lot of varied opinions which in turn helps you make decisions and evaluate things your way.
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Why did you change your name and location?
I think you are overreacting.
Was your 2 yr old awake while you were sleeping?
You sound immature using verbage such as lady parts and feel me up. How old are you?
Your husband just wanted to be with you and you shut him down. Figure out a way to spend quality time with your husband or you may face being a single mom.
ETA - now now your profile picture is blank and you've changed your name to a single mom of 1 - yet CLEARLY state in your post - MY HUSBAND?? Girl. You need help.
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Welcome to mamapedia.
You fell asleep for how long? You left your son unattended.
I think you're over reacting a tad bit. Your husband was interested in you. I get your son is your priority - but really? You could have done something to work it out.
Your door should be locked.
Your son should know to KNOCK before entering.
No, I've had the same problem with my husband. His behavior was inappropriate, and irresponsible.
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No, I've had the same problem with my husband. His behavior was inappropriate, and irresponsible.
Updated
No, I've had the same problem with my husband. His behavior was inappropriate, and irresponsible.
I know some times it can feel like some of the moms aren't here to help but most of us are. Don't give up on the site, I'm not. To answer your question, you did not overreact in my opinion. I think displaying affection more than a hug, holding hands, or a (closed mouth) 2-3 second kiss on the lips is kind of inappropriate, and, personally, uncomfortable. I'm not a prude or anything, but I can't enjoy any kind of advances wondering what my lil one is doing, are they about to come around the corner, or what they are learning from me. Lets face it, they're sponges, and could imitate behavior. Which could end in an awkward encounter between you and your son or him and another child. Honestly, I'm so afraid of prematurely exposing my daughter to that kind of sexuality I turn the channel when an intense kissing scene comes on the boob tube.
I would communicate to your hubby (if you haven't already) why you rejected his advances and that its not that you don't want him. Then maybe give him the attention you couldn't give him earlier.
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Also, I'm not so sure why everyone is getting their panties in a twist about her referring to her situation as "Lady Parts", I refer to mine as my "Secret" or my "Pleasure Button" or my "Situation". There is nothing childish showing a little modesty. We're all ladies here, and clearly knew what she was referring to. Pussy is so crass, and I only refer to my lady parts as a vagina when I'm talking to my doctor. Clearly she thought she was among friends.
I suggest talking with your husband about how you feel and then together decide how to manage . I hope that your husband will accept your need for privacy.
I suggest that when he asks, say not now, and then say tonight, for example.
When our son was that age, he was in daycare and hubby and I had every other Friday off from work - which were perfect date days for us.
It might not be as spontaneous as you would like but some regular dates with Hubby should help take care of the relationship - and that's often hard to do with little kids in the house.
My husband never felt a desire to fool around when our son was awake and present.
