Am I "Damaged Goods?"

A., I do sympathize with you and your not "damaged goods". trusting again takes a lot of dicipline to control your thoughts and actions. If you want a successful relaitonship you can not hold the man you are with accountable for the last persons mistakes. I know you are just trying to protect yourself from getting hurt again but your just driving yourself crazy by constantly "checking" My best advice is one to slow the relationship down dont be physical with him until you trully can trust him no strings attatched. This will allow you the freedom to heal and get to know him without putting up all the guards. Second eveytime you feel the need to "check up on him" walk away from it, find a distraction and change your thoughts. This is extremely hard to do but you have to take control of it or it will control you. lastley, let him know you are still healing from your past relationship and let him know you want to move slow and the reason why, let him know you are seriously working on it and If he cant be patient with you he is not going to be the one. Good luck, you can trust again.

I agree with the other responses you've received so far on this subject. I would just add a little something from a different perspective. I also had multiple bad relationships prior to my husband (who I've been married to for almost 7 years next month). I was abused mentally many times, cheated on, and just had men that treated me like I was dirt. So after my last relationship before my husband, which was really the best of them all (he actually treated me good, but just was a divorced dad who didn't want to marry again), I realized that i was in a pattern and had to change it from within. It may be hard to hear, but it is possible you are attracting these kinds of men because subconsciously you feel you deserve it. So I would recommend counseling for yourself, Christian counseling would be even better.

I took two years between my last boyfriend and the time I met my husband to really learn who I was again (even though I wasn't married before, I was in serious relationship after another since I had been 18, so it's easy to lose yourself to this guy). Anyway, I learned to love myself and and through a lot of prayer learned I deserve a guy who will truly love me and treat me good. It was only then that I met and fell in love with my husband who has been nothing but a blessing to me. We know have two wonderful children and I couldn't be happier.

Sorry this turned out so long, but I truly believe when you love yourself true love will find you. And you have to let go of the past and be honest with this person like the other posts said.

Good luck and I hope this helps a little.

No, you aren't damaged goods. You've had some dishonest guys and had rough times with them. However, you become a stronger person after going thru that.

I would suggest going thru a dating agency or meeting guys at church. You might want to wait awhile and work on learning how to trust others and get some counseling for yourself first.

I had one guy that was rough and he lied some to me. I broke up with him and looking back, I wonder what I saw in him.

I know there are some Divorce Support Groups that you might want to check out.

If you are a reader, I would go to the library and check out some books on relationships and trusting others.

Hope this helps you.

I completely agree with Kristin. Be honest with him.

time and counseling for yourself would be my suggestions! if the guy is worth it, he'll be patient.

Honestly, you need to be honest with him. Let him know what you've gone through and where you're at. If he's a good man, he'll understand and HELP you learn to trust again. But, if you don't tell him, he'll think you're a paranoid psychopath!! If you want him to be honest with you, you HAVE to be honest with him!!!

Good Luck!
(By the way... A. is a BEAUTIFUL name...happens to be my daughters!)