As Ive mentioned we relocated hours away from family. I am a SAHM and usually always have the kids no matter what Im doing. After moving my husband and I decided it would be good for my 2 yr old, (and me) to find a part time, like 8 hrs a week, babysitter. My 4 yr old goes to pre-school 3 days a week so we are looking for the hours that he is gone to send the two year old.
I found a lady who seemed very nice had a lot of references. Then we toured her home. She lived in a townhouse, it had MANY steps inside. ANd right behind her small patio and grass area was a HUGE lake. There was obviously no fence either. I asked where they played on warm days and she said she drove them to the park. She also had a two year old, and kept a few other kids on and off through the week. Well that was a deal breaker for me. My two year old is fearless, and I only feel comfortable w/ me taking to him a park. No one else.
Then I find another lady who sounded great. Ran an in-home daycare in her house and was licensed through the state. GREAT I thought!......wrong. The house was very dumpy, dirty. She flat out said she "worked" on her computer most of the time the kids were there, her boyfriend came and stayed w/ her 3 days out of the week. All of the outside toys were FILTHY and there was dog poop all over her yard! AND an inspector had been at her house that day!? Wow, what standards do we go by here? She seemed like a very sweet lady and was obviously background checked etc...but to not even clean up knowing a new potential child was coming to visit? Now most of the e-mails Im getting back from sitter sites are bugging me as well. If you are responding for a potential job wouldn't you think people would use appropriate grammar? "Bring ur lil wt you" was a response I got as to meeting a woman to watch my son? HUH? Or "I give names of people kid I watch, then see why I chrg more".....
Am I being over picky? I hope not. Because to me there is nothing more important to me then my kids. And if you can't intitally approach me w/ any professionalism I wonder what you're like when you're comfortable with me! And these people are claiming to have backgroound checks and fingerprints...but really?And Im not trying to pay 2-3 an hr. Im offering a flat rate wether he's there the full time or not and providing him w/ everything he needs!
I've tried daycares, and they are quite expensive. With me not working I can't justify nearly $100 for 2 half days....but how can I find someone worth while????
No, there isn't a MDO program close. I looked in to that already.
And needing a break from your kids doesn't make them any less important to me. Im sure not one person here can say they NEVER get a break from their kids. My husband travels a lot so thats usually not an option for him to watch them both for me to get things done.
You are not overly picky! I would be bothered by the scenarios that you listed as well. I hope you find someone you can trust!
WIth unemployment the way it is for younger people, friends have found recent college grads to babysit. They've been great! Not appealing maybe but you could try Craigs List (where my friend found someone great) or Care.com. Is there a local's mom group btw that has a postings board and you could ask there for recommedations? I dont think you're being too picky at all.
Ouch Theresa N! What's wrong with having a little time to yourself?
D., I had a college girl come to our house 8 hours a week the year before my youngest started preschool (Tue/Thu, 4 hours each day) and it was awesome. I found her by posting at the local college. Since she was able to watch my daughter here at home I didn't have any of the concerns you are talking about (and there was no need for them to drive anywhere, so no worries about dealing with the car seat.)
She also watched my other kids on the occasional date night. My kids loved her, she was young, fun and she played with them. We were sad when she graduated and moved away.
I would look for someone like that!
ETA: I paid her $10 per hour.
D.,
You are not being too picky. Those would be deal breakers for me, as well.
I have to respectfully disagree with Theresa. My kids are the most important thing for me in my life. If I am to be the best mom I can be, I need to be a whole person- that means my needs must be met, too. I need time to exercise, relax, and be with other adults without kids. If my husband were traveling most of the time, I would not hesitate to hire a reliable sitter to give me a break at times.
Keep looking. Word of mouth might be a better way to find someone qualified. You could check with your church leaders if you have them, neighbors, friends of Facebook to see if they know of anybody. Good luck.
Can you check with a local college for Education majors looking to earn extra cash? I don't think you are being too picky, all of those concerns would bother me as well. I'm not hard to please, either, I've never been a mom that had a hard time leaving my kids with babysitters.
I just read your SWH and wanted to add that I am the ONE person here who has NEVER had a break from my kids. WE have moved a lot (17 times with kids, 34 times in my life), my husband travels a lot and I don't trust my children with others until they, they child, can talk. By then we all get along so well, that I don't really need a break from my kids. I've taught my kids how to sort and fold laundry, dust, vacuum, cook, etc with me.
Now, what I did do, was hire a sweet, loving lady to come to my home and help me with everything....cooking, cleaning, child care, taking kids to park, running errands, everything. That lasted about a year and I trusted my life with her.
Also, you are not being too picky with your kids. The 2nd place sounds horrid and I would have reported such conditions just after viewing something like that. Yuk.
GL!
Well D., if there's "nothing more important to you than your kids", um, why send her to the babysitter when you don't HAVE to?
Perhaps a Mother's Day Out type program would work better for you? At your church or local Y?
:)
**Geez, does NOone have a sense of humor today? I apologize, was just a little joke. *slinks away* :(
What about a sitter in your home? Maybe a college student? My niece used to babysit between classes while she was going to school for Early Childhood Education.
I wouldn't have so much of a problem with the first house with the lake as long as she seemed responsible enough to keep the kids out of it. But the dirty house and working another job? No.
You might ask friends with older children who they used when their kids were little or if there are any tips, pro or con. My coworkers were the best resource for finding a center for DD. You might want to find a center vs home care. Many do offer PT slots. Ask the other parents if they take their little ones somewhere and if so, where?
In my case, I joined a Meet Up. I didn't leave DD at the events, but it got us out of the house and we did things and made friends.
Nope, you aren't too picky at all. I've run a QUALITY in-home child care for over 20 years. Almost every time I interview a potential new family, I hear stories such as the ones you've described. The things you've described are safety issues for the most part and simply unacceptable. Most families are very surprised when they come here. I'm clean, I'm safe, I provide many activities and even Preschool, I'm huge on parent communication, do a monthly newsletter and on and on and on. That is the type of in-home care your child deserves. I know it's hard to find, but keep looking. Your best bet to find this is to ask your friends and all your acquaintances. Word of mouth - best bet. Good luck!
I don't think that "too picky" exists when it comes to childcare. You want what you want, and you have a right to it. You might have to pay for it, though. Or you might jus thave to keep looking. I have found that lots--can't quite quantify, but it's too much for my taste--of childcare providers provide the service as a fallback career. Not often enough does the choice seems to have been made based on a genuine desire and know-how to care for children. They do it because they need money but want to stay home with their own children or they are still seeking perfect employment and need to pay bills in the meantime or.... Thankfully, you have the luxury of being that SAHM so you can take the time to find a good fit.
When it comes to the care of your child, it's your call. My nanny isn't allowed to drive my son. When I asked her about it recently (for the first time), she was fully on board and said that she doesn't even want the responsibility of driving someone's little one around if it's not necessary. Our parenting styles are very similar--she's got three--so she gets it. Even if she doesn't necessarily agree with something I say, she respects it and believes that it's about my level of comfort that he is safe. In return, I am learning to be a bit more relaxed because I trust her. I know that she truly loves him and looks forward to spending time with him.
Maybe you can call a nanny service in the area. Maybe my service can make a recommendation for your area--let me know via PM. You might be able to get somebody who already has a part-time nanny gig and is looking for another.
No, you are not being too picky. The lake issue with the first and the uncleanliness/boyfriend of the second would also bother me and I would not go back. The poor grammar wouldn't bother me quite as much... there is likely a language barrier but they still might be great in person.
Can you not find a good Mother's Day Out program at a local church to put both kids in at the same time? It would be so much easier on you if they were at the same place, same times, and most offer a second child discount.
*ETA: there is NOTHING wrong with some healthy time away from your kids a few days a week. It will make you a more loving and patient mom to have a few hours a week to yourself. The Y is a good idea, but of course you would have to be there too working out.
College student - find a college student who wants to be a part time Nanny. Or another SAHM maybe who babysits others along with raising her own.
Ask your pre-school for referrals, or ask the other Moms who they recommend.
Be patient, keep looking.
Maybe you should consider hiring someone who will come to your house. A college student might be a good option.
It is very hard to find someone. I interviewed countless women and ignored many responses to my posts based on their tone alone (never granted interviews). I once toured a home daycare that I thought would be perfect because she had camera's installed all throughout and I loved the idea of being able to check on my son with my computer while he was there. I walked in and the smell of nasty cat litter box was so strong it made me sick to my stomach. Apparently she had no idea it smelled that awful but all I could imagine as she took me on the tour was my son finding that disgusting box and climbing into it. Eventually I just got lucky and found a friend's daughter to watch my son. I work from home so that made it even easier on me since I was not leaving him alone in a stranger's care. If you are looking for a sitter in your home, I doubt you will find one under $10/hour. I would guess someone watching your son in their own home for only 8 hours should be doable...like 50 per week. Have you made mommy friends at park or library groups etc? There are several SAHMs that would like to babysit here and there to earn cash. Good luck.
1. You are not being too picky
2. There is NOTHING wrong with needing some time away from your child to devote to yourself, to run errands, etc. This is something that almost all moms would benefit from doing.
3.) Have you checked to see if there is a "playcare" in your area were you can take the little one for hourly daycare in a center that is state licensed, cpr certified, etc. You only pay for the time you use that way, too. Another option is to ask the church for some referrals for babysitters from the membership or perhaps check the senior citizens center for someone who is healthy and interested in earning some spending money.
ALWAYS trust your gut instinct! Finding quality childcare is not easy. Do your homework and ask the providers a million questions.
Side note - My husbands cousin has 3 kids and watches another child or two out of her home. We're in Toledo but she lives in Springboro!!! Let me know if you want her information.
Regardless best of luck to you in your search!
Editing to add - being someone who works with kids myself (former daycare, preschool, baby signs instructor, nanny, etc) ... I really do not recommend daycare centers! The kids don't get nearly enough attention. Plus a lot of teachers act different when moms & dads leave. I highly recommend an actual preschool (as you said for your 4 year old), a nanny, or in home provider! Just search for QUALITY!
I would look for a center. i have never seen a home day care where i would leave my kids.. too dirty .. too many kids... pets yuck...
a nice licensed child care center. they are clean have staff and will watch your child. they are however expensive.. but you at least know your child is safe and cared for.
I took my son to Centerville Safe Care which is just North of Social Row on Sheehan Rd. Sheehan Rd. becomes Bunnell Hill Rd. just south of Social Row. They were quite reasonable at the time. Plus their quality care was great! Activities all day long, structured, clean, professional and loving! I can't say enough good things about them. I hope this helps.
Honestly, the first scenario with the park seems a little picky. but you know what, I un-enrolled my child from a center because the next room up was small, dark and had too many shelves, so who am I to talk:)
I agree, you cannot be too safe or too picky when it comes to your kiddo. I would definitely try the college student route, call local churches to see if they have a center (sometimes less expensive) and even look into those match making style sitter sites like sitter city and care.com (sitters have profiles, you have a profile, etc).
another service to look into that we have in TX is Seeking Sitters. They actually employ, hire and do extensive background checks (like even look at their Social media sites and use a PI before they hire them - they do the same with you too before they let their sitters come to your home!!). I have been super impressed with them for this kind of care.
Good luck!
You can never be too picky. I think you'd be better off with someone coming into your home and watching your child one-on-one. A college student is a great recommendation. Also, do you go to church? Are there any church ladies that are 50-60 that might like some extra income?
I found a lady through our church that is 50. She has two kids (one in college and one just graduated). She's never worked outside the home and appreciates the extra $20-$40/week I pay her. She has been a life-saver on may occasions.
I don't think you are being too picky. Some providers do take their kiddos on outings to the park, etc. if you are not comfortable with that no problem, just ask before you go for an interview. I have had a lot of people that have come to interview with me (I'm interviewing them as well, I won't take just anyone) tell me that they drove by providers homes and made the "no" decision based on the drive by.
What it comes down to is going with your gut. It sounds like you need a place with a couple of toddlers for playmates. Thankfully you have time to find what you are looking for since you don't have a "back to work" date.
M
The ladies you mentioned above don't sound ok to me, either.
We live in a college town. I also went on Sitter City.com and found a couple of nice matches, and we have a totally awesome sitter right now.
One thing I've found is that it is worth the money to pay very well. Sitter always says yes unless she has class or an exam going on. Some people would say I pay too much, but I do have four kids (she only watches two during the school year but I continue to pay full rate), but then I don't feel bad asking her to organize or do chores while the boys are resting.
Good luck!
The only thing I see that will make it hard for you is that you seem to not want the provider to have any other kids in their care. I'm not sure how realistic that is.
Everything else is definitely a red flag, and I don't blame you for being uneasy.
