Am I Being to Hard on My Baby??!!

I don't think you are pushing her to hard at all. As long as you make her learning activities fun and you go at her pace then I think that what you are doing is fine. If she does not want to do homework try to come up with alternative fun ways to teach her the same lesson as the homework. Maybe hit a few of those homeschooling websites for ideas.

I think it is ok to make her finish the last two classes expecially if you paid for them. Teaching kids responsibility and to finish what they start should begin at a young age. Going forward I would recommend letting her choose her own activities to get involved in and expalin to her up front that if she chooses it she must finish it.

My MIL does the same thing. Interject her opnion and two cents when no one is asking her. I remind her that it has been 39 years since she had a 3 year old and quite a few things have changed. I guess it is my tone when I remind her thst lets her know to shut up and butt out.

Remember she is almost 4 and that is still young. Did she ask to go to ballet or isit something yo wanted for her. At 3 almost 4 she is not going to get the lesson finish what you start because she didn't start it you did. When children are you they like to try a lot of things and it may take time before they find the one or two things they really like. It is pushing if you have to force her to sit and do te work. Learning should be fun at her age. What homework does a 3 year old have? Or is this work you want her to sit down and learn. Ease up and some she will be fine.

Hi!

I don`t think it is hard to do activities in that age. Special 4 year old desire to hear about letters and are proud if they can read or write their name. As long as they have fun with doing it thats okay. We started with gymanstics and ballet also before school. Then we shortened it to on day a week for activities. We changed the activities always. It was gymnastice and ballet, then judo and now folksdance. Kids need to get some goals they can reach and if you remind them and help them to reach those I guess you learn a good lesson. They will tell you when they really don`t want any more. We also have cats (3). They need to feed them regularly and treat them well also and I told them before that this is for a longer time and they have a responsibitity now. This works fine too. (I care for the cattoilet).

I am a mum of 2, 8 year old girl and 10 year old boy.

Have a blessed and good day!

S.

I'm so glad you are asking. There's lots of research that shows the primary job and mode of learning for children up to 5 or 6 years is play. Free play, imaginative play, make believe play, active play, open-ended play. They learn gross and fine motor skills, verbal skills, social skills, observation, cause-and-effect hands-on physics, and the blossoming of their imaginations.

Too much focus on academics, which is virtually all focus on academics at your daughter's age, reduces and defines their play time. And it also can spoil their natural, spontaneous love of learning, turning learning into "work" instead of play. Challenging them with concepts (arithmetic!) that are too far ahead of their developmental stage will give them a sense of failure and discourage them from even trying. Kids who get too much of academics may be weary of school before they even start, and high expectations from the parents can effectively smother their own motivation to succeed.

As far as finishing the classes is concerned, your daughter is not yet four, and toddlers are not allowed to sign contracts! Interests change spontaneously, sometimes from one month to the next. So even if the classes were her idea originally, and she came to you and begged to be enrolled, she didn't know what she was signing up for, and for how long. A child has no sense of time or commitment, and the capacities to learn either of those are still in her future.

I know you are eager to do the best for your child, Mommy. Please let her play. She has years and years in which she can follow her interests, and she'll probably get more homework than is healthy for her even during her elementary years. (A very thoughtful researcher on this topic, Alfie Kohn, thinks homework for kids is a terrible mistake – google his name for more information.)

Children learn best when they are at play and having fun...just like the rest of us :)

There will be time later on to put the shoulder to the wheel...let her play and have fun...teach her while it is fun, back off a little when it gets boring...as she gets older, her attention span will be longer, and she will be able to do more and be willing to do more...keep it interesting.

It sounds like she is doing alot. When you say school, do you mean preschool or kindergarten? Preschool is a great idea...If it is kindergarten, you should find out what the expected learning outcome will be. Some four and five year olds just have not met the developmental milestones (physically, cognatively, and psychosocially) to do well in today's kindergarten...which is more like our first grade!

Best of luck to you.

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Your 3 or almost 4 year old is not able at this stage to take away the "finish what you start" message that you feel you must send her. She is not able to make that abstract connection. It's wonderful that you are exposing her to things like dance, but holding her accountable at this age will do more to frustrate you and her. Teaching her abcs and 123s is appropriate, as well self care and safety rules, and anything else she is curious and interested to learn, but "homework" sounds like you are pushing her. Don't! You want your daughter to love learning for learning's sake NOT as a tool for Mom's approval. Knowing her abcs or numbers when going into school is NOT a future predictor for later success.

homework? she's only four. she has a billion years when she will have to homework. Let her be a kid. A little kid. I think one activity is fine for a 4 year old and don't make it a chore if she doesn't want to go one week. She'll miss it and want to go the next time. I promise you. I think we get caught up in trying to create the perfect combination of activities etc to create the perfect kid. Not realizing our kids were perfect the day they were born. Let them develop and don't crowd their time with so much organized activities. Just expose them to different things and let them develop their interests.
I think 4 is kind of young to be in school all day. But a couple days a week would be cool.

With my kids, I "expose" them to new things but let them "take the lead." When my 5 year old was a baby I purchased a set of 6 educational kids books published by the same publisher as "Volume Encyclopedia." The books were about shapes, numbers, colors, even a kids dictionary. They were somewhat pricey for me. Occasionally I pulled one out and we'd look at it, but never for long periods until he'd move onto something else. Then, about a month ago, my son approached me with a notebook on which he'd written numerous words. "Where did you find all of these words," I asked him. He took me to the kitchen where he had laid one of the books on the table. "In here," he said, turning the pages. "See, here's a cup... and a baseball..." He was looking at each picture and writing the word. Basically teaching himself how to write words using the book. They'll take the lead and let you know when they're ready. Your job as a mom is to "expose" them to the opportunities.

She's a little young for addition and subtraction. I would stick with ABC, 123, colors, shapes, holding a crayon the right way, coloring inside the lines, basic stuff. No need to push the math just yet. If she's getting bored or showing signs that she's losing interest, stop the lesson. You don't want her to get burnt out at an early age. There is NO reason why she should be doing homework right now, she's not even in school!
I do think if there's only two ballet classes left, then she should attend those classes. Give her a little break from ballet, if she wants to do it again, then let her. If she enjoys her activities, then let her do them. If she wants to stop, then let her stop.
4 is when most kids start pre-school, so I don't think that she's too young for school.
Just follow your daughter's cues. It seems that we as a society must have our children busy every waking minute of the day. I don't think that's good for kids. It causes them stress where there doesn't need to be any. She's still just a baby. Relax. School will teach her what she needs to know.

Kids at this age learn through play. If you are playing with her and teaching basics rather than drilling her, you will not only make learning fun for her and keep her interested in short periods of time (which is all it should be) you will accomplish what you probably are trying to achieve.
I don't agree with parents having their kids enrolled in things around the clock. I think it teaches kids that they have to be on the go and scheduled all the time and when they aren't they don't know how to just play.
I believe that (at this age) activities are fine if a child expresses interest and if the classes are short. Or if you're having her learn a life skill like swimming. But yeah... homework is too much. Believe me when your daughter started kinder you and she will have all the homework you want and more. She has lots of time to conform and have her life scheduled. Enjoy the sweet time you have with her now and play with her instead.

I don't think you are pushing her too hard, so long as her lessons are short and not pressured and if she is enjoying herself as well and has plenty of free time to explore and play.

However, ballet and gymnastics is a little rough alongside with all of the classes. I would do one or the other at this age. Preschool a few days a week is a good way to socialize and interact, though she is already getting that at her classes.

There is a 4 year old girl on my son's soccer team who is constantly being hounded by her mom who practices everyday, goes to every practice and is an amazing player. But the girl doesn't enjoy it and the mom is constantly acting stressed and getting on to her. So, if you are going that route with her, then yes you are being too hard.

Classes are fine at that age. My daughter started preschool at 3. My son started at 4...late October birthday. They each did 2 yrs of preschool then began kindergarten.
They started formal addition and subtraction in kindergarten. In preschool and a very young age at home it was more play based. Counting was just part of games, stories, puzzles that we did. The same was with the preschool they were in. I also incorporated measuring when we were baking...nothing formal though. My second grader is now reading recipes by himself and doing the measuring...fractions don't come in to play till next year in school...but he's catching on just because of how we 'play' at home.
You are probably already doing plenty at home. Concetrate on reading books to her, naming colors, counting how many things there are, and making patterns by color, shape (red circle, blue circle, red circle, etc). This is preschool type work. Can she sit still for a story? Can she do a short activity? If she can then she'll be ready for preschool. No need to push her to do addition and subtraction yet.
As for dance and gymnastics, I think she can finish the classes. At this time of year the kids are just getting tired of it. My daughter started ballet at 3 (along with starting preschool). This is the 3rd year and they all get like this...no one wants to go. Today was the last class day. next week is the dress rehersal then recital night! She always says I'm not dancing next year. Then when she isn't there for 2 weeks she is whining about it and asking which class she'll go into next fall:). Just remind her that there is only 2 classes before summer vacation. I have also said that once you start you must finish because you made a commitment.

Now...we did allow our son to quit t-ball when he was 5. It was total chaos on the field! He was with 5-9 year olds. I grew up in a baseball family...we were at a field 4 days a week from the time my brother was 5 until he graduated from hs. I understand the basics of baseball could certainly help but this was a mad house. My son hated it and cried when we said it was time to go. I couldn't see any benefit to him going...he wasn't actually learning anything. I could teach the game in the backyard better...so we let him quit. He likes playing sports in his gym class and at home but whenever we have mentioned playing ball (different team...he could join a team in the town the school is in) or soccer he says no way. He isn't all that interested in organized sports now but he is happy with working on his achievements for cub scouts or training the dog.
If your daughter truly is showing signs that she hates every moment of dance then ok...don' t enroll her again and find something else. If it's a fleeting thing of becoming bored that day then she is fine.
Good luck.

At this age if she doesn't want to do something "extra" why does she have to? She has plenty of time to learn these things. I think fighting her on these things now is setting yourself up for more fighting and resentment later. I think it is great that you are open minded enough to ask others their opinion on this!

My 5 year old knows ABC's, Numbers, Colors, shapes, Can name and point out all the planets, Plays T-Ball, Simple addition and subtraction, And on top of that we are currently trying to get him into the modeling and acting industry. I do not think that we push too hard. We actually have a lot of down time where we are just bored! I don't think you are pushing too hard at all. I also want to put both my boys in Karate classes or Dance class. My 3 (almost 4) yo is the same too. Can count, ABC's, planets, too young for the sports right now. They also can name colors and count to 5 in spanish. I think giving them options young is important. Teach them lots of different things so they are more skilled in the future!

I think classes and ABCs are fine at this age, but you really have to judge how she's feeling about it all. If she definitely doesn't want to do a class, I don't think you should make her. It's not like quitting a team sport and leaving the others hanging. As for numbers and letters, she is probably curious and should be exposed to them at this age, but in a no-pressure, fun way. You can ask her about letters on signs and count her dolls (or cars or markers or whatever) with her. But sitting her down to work doesn't sound like it's going well for any of you. This is a great age to get a taste of a lot of different things, but you don't want to turn her against ballet, gymnastics or academics by making her do them. Just try to work with her interests, and her natural curiosity and desire to learn should come out. Good luck!

for the ballet no it wont hurt her to finish 2 classes. my 3 year old did ballet and tap and she loved it till her academy closed.
for the numbers letters and such it seems to be a little hard. read a book to her with numbers in it. have her count things with you like how many apples are there? etc. then ask her to name the color.
she is going to pre school to learn these things also so take a step back and breath a little she is resisting to the pressure you put on her.
my 3 year old daughter knows her abcs (from me singing them to her) we are working on learning the actual letters. she can count to 10 with out aid. she names colors does puzzles etc. theres many fun ways you can help them learn. also what you really need to work on is her sitting and listening for 15 or so mins at a time.
also get her a computer game she can play. my daughter has a v smile and that also helps her learn colors, adding and hand eye cordination.

Maybe skip the one ballet class and she if she really is ok with not going to the last one? Mine always say to me that they don't want to go to gymnastics... but they really just don't want to get dressed. When I was too sick to drive them one week they were very upset!

Also, my younger one will be 4 at the end of this month, and starts preschool in september. I don't give her homework! it's summer anyway... I say let her have fun and maybe she'll enjoy homework when she gets it from school. my older one does!

I've homeschooled three kids.

You know you are pushing too hard when the child begins to cry out of fustration and anxiety to perform the desired task. The child will begin to hate school and the negative emotion invloved with it.

One sure thing I have learned is that no child will be able to perform certain tasks before the brain and nervous system is 'ready' to do it. Breakdowns result. If that happens wait 3 or 6 months and try again. no big deal. The child WILL learn when ready. In the meantime, read, read, read, outloud to her, which is the foundational rock of learning. It is enjoyable for the child, and at a minimum will reflect increased vocabulary,reading, grammar, comprehension, and spelling test scores when the child is older. Nature and science, animals, poetry, short stories, picture books, and books that have a cassette to go along with them that reads the story for the child are fun too.

Homework assignments which involve writing do not belong in early grades in my opinion. Public schools are pros are KILLING the joy of learning. Once the joy is gone, learning turns into a dreaded task. Spontaneous learning is thrilling. Like hunting for butterfly eggs under leaves. Finding bugs and then making a habitat for them, with dirt, rocks, plants, and water. Looking at them under a magnifying glass. Feeding them. Looking them up in a book or online and telling the child all about that bug. Drawing a picture of them in her nature journal. This is early learning at its best. It will get the child to crave more learning.

Handwriting (I taught cursive first) can usually be taught to a 6 - 6.5 yr old, usually writing for any extent comes into play in grade 2 for a girl, grade 3 for a boy.

No, you aren't being too hard on your little girl. You finish classes you starts. Get books on what to teach a four year old. You can teach her without calling it homework and make it fun. ie. Counting toys, adding them, and taking them away. Computer games, starfall.com. It is great you are spending time with her.

My son is 4 and a few months and has been in preschool for a year. Most of their activities are learning by play and observation and the teacher reading stories to them and doing an activity. They do a lot of art activities but no real letters or numbers. He is learning the alphabet and practicing counting but not in a formal way. He learns the most when he asks about something and I give him a short explanation and he remembers when I point out a similar example later. Unless your daughter shows a real interest the letters and numbers will be dealt with in school. Learning by play is the best at this age--a detailed game of pretend is helping her brain grow and organize itself to learn better when she is in school later.

BTW, I would make her finish what she starts with the classes. One or two activites a week for a child not in preschool is reasonable but a class every day is too much, in my opinion. The only exception is a child who really wants to do so many things. I did babysit for a girl who had a different dance class each weekday at age 5. After that year she switched to a lighter schedule but still danced until high school.

I think kids should be able to be kids, and have fun. Learning is great, but there is time for that. I really don't think math homework is necessary yet, and pushing something so advanced could backfire and make her refuse to do things. You can do abc's with fun things. I have one of those big rubber play mat things that is a bunch of pieces that lock together. Mine learned his numbers in no time from that. I plan to go get the abc one next. He loves doing it, so it isn't a battle. And I do things like subtraction just in the course of the day. Like at mealtime- "How many tomatoes do you have? 3! Look, you ate one, now you only have 2!" Nothing more difficult than that. Making it all into a game makes it fun for him. Kids should be able to be kids as long as possible.

As for the ballet- I think finishing the class is not a bad idea. Does she totally hate it, or just lost interest? Finishing what you start is a good thing to teach kids, and soon enough she'll be in school where she can't just quit it when she is bored one day.

You are fine!
My little son knew numbers and ABCs before3 y/o, doing figure skating and arts right now, plus I am teaching him to read and he learns 3 languages at once. I think if the child is interested in the activities it makes sense to continue, but if your daughter lost interest - finish the class and then enroll her in something different, let her try something new. That happened to my older one, he left some activities and then came back to them over the years with new zest and interest.
Unfortunately, when you enroll your daughter in the school in the future you will find that her class will be full of kids nowhere near your daughter's level (majority of parents do not do their job) and I had to continuously supplement with my son to keep him interested in school and even change schools (to find more challenging curriculums). American education is on the decline.
As for your MIL and husband, if you think you are right - do not let anybody tell you othervise. Let me guess, MIL has no college degree? A lot of uneducated people have hard time understanding why spend time on all that education...if you can just chew snacks in front of the TV.... Do not let them win....Do the best you can do by your girl!

Good luck!

At this age it is probably best to work on her social development which is done best by interacting with other children. A book before bedtime can teach a lot. You are right to get her to finish what she starts. They are a child for a short time just let them have fun at whatever they do. She picks up so much from natural curiosity and watching the environment. Take her to the park and look at butterflies, play in the sprinkler, or enjoy a family camping trip. They pick up so many things that we take for granted.