Am I Being Completely Unreasonable and Insecure?

I wouldn't feel comfortable about it either. I'd just remind him I am trusting you to focus on the kids and not let the floosy get a hold of you. Tell him to behave. But if the kids are going to be in the basement also that might help.

Personally I wouldn't feel it were the right situation. Why don't you tell him to get a room? I would.

Yes I think you're being unreasonable and insecure.

10 kids & 5 adults in the basement?
Lol!

I'm assuming your husband will be too busy with his family and 2 toddlers to worry about this girl. If it were my husband, I trust him so it wouldn't bother me if it didn't bother him.

while she might have a rep of "giving it away easily" does your husband have a rep of taking it away easily.... answer that and you ll know IF you need to be concerned or not..

It's not about HER. You either trust your husband, or not. I know that woman could walk in front of my husband naked, and he would just leave the room. I trust HIM, it doesn't matter if I don't trust her. All I need, is to know he values me far too much.

And....what do you really think can happen in a basement filled with all those adults and children? Yes, you are being insecure. The real question, is why? Is there a reason for you to be?

In a word, yes. :) If your husband were going to be unfaithful, the "tight quarters" won't make a difference. If you trust him otherwise, you should trust him here. Are you envisioning them all sleeping on the floor like sardines, and that one night they'll just roll on top of each other? With everyone else there? I think the fact that there are 13 other people in the same room to act as chaperones makes it not that scandalous.

If she was a stripper, walking around naked as the day she was born, gyrating in front of your husband, while pretending to perform oral sex....your HUSBAND would need to walk away.
Do you trust him? It's not anything to do with this poor girl. Do you think she WANTS to share a room with an older married guy and his two toddlers? I know I wouldn't.

good grief! Relax...either you trust your husband or not!

Think about how many people are in that house....where would they even find a private place to do it? Do you seriously think they're going to sneak into the bathroom & do it?

I know I sound bitchy....but it's situations & responses such as yours which create havoc & harm when none exists.

For over 40 years, my family owned a Lake House. We slept on top of each other, family/friends/newbies.....without issue, without insecurity. & there's no need for a hotel room....your family is in the process of creating lifelong memories.

It's a bummer you're not there, & my heart goes out to you. Been there, lived it....& I hated missing out on the fun! OH & welcome to Mamapedia.

Well, do you trust your husband or not? He's the one you need to trust, not her. And not for nothing but he's going to be sleeping next to your children and not your sister-in-law's husband's cousin.

Plus, the fact that she "wanted to be" a stripper doesn't automatically mean she's some irresistible sex goddess. It also doesn't mean that she deserved her reputation for being promiscuous. Even if she did sleep with a lot of different men, who's to say she hasn't changed? And who's to say that your husband is even her type? Who's to say your husband would even be interested?

Do you see where I'm going with this? If I were in the same situation you're in and my husband were taking my three girls with him, I would have absolutely no worries. It wouldn't even cross my mind. Especially since "everyone" will be staying in the basement. What sort of wild things do you think will be going on, really?

I personally think you ARE being unreasonable and insecure, but I'm surprised how many answers disagree with me. It looks like I might be in the minority, but this doesn't seem like a threatening situation to me. If this were my husband, I can't imagine myself even caring that much. I trust him completely, 100%, so other women don't make me jealous that way, and this woman isn't even someone he has crushed on before (like an ex or something). To me, it seems like you either trust your husband, or you don't. You say you do, but your anxiety about the situation kind of implies otherwise. You might want to discuss this with him to see if you two can work through this in a way that makes you comfortable. Good luck.

Some men act on temptation. Some men think about it but don't do anything about it.

I think you are dealing with the issue of not being sure if your husband wants to be an actor or thinker, but both bother you in the same way anyway.

So yes, you are being insecure, but for good reasons. If your husband is a stand up guy, he'll ask her to put clothes on if she start prancing around him or the kids in her thong or some lingerie, and then either ask for other sleeping arrangements, if he hasn't already, or come home early.

Well, we wouldn't do that in my family. We'd be springing for a hotel room if the house were THAT full.

You need to talk to your husband about your discomfort and ask him to change the sleeping arrangements.

Dawn

If I was your husband, I would sleep in a hotel with the kids....but only because it would be more comfortable, not because there was some non relative in the room as well. I think if you are really worried about your husband hooking up with a woman while he is sleeping in the same room with his kids, brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews, then you two have some serious issues to work out. This has NOTHING to do with the other woman. You don't trust your husband.

Just have your family stay in a hotel, they will be more comfortable anyway.

hmmm. where are the kids sleeping?? this sounds like a very full, very crowded house.

it seems to me it would be very awkward to have a fling in this situation.

i would also be just as paranoid as you are, though.

i'm sure nothing will happen. now, more likely would be that they exchange numbers, and if she is really determined, she tries to start something after this week. but he will be back home by then and not much chance there either.

just my train of thought...as i said, i'm just as paranoid as you are, so i'm probably not the best one to give advice...but if you think of the logistics...it is not very likely.

Welcome to Mamapedia. This is a terrible situation to be in, and your mind can really make a mess of this. I understand your fear that he'll sleep around, but I would suggest you focus on the most important question - Do you trust your husband?

You don't have to trust the girl, and you don't have to like her. But his and her actions are out of your control. So you have to trust in your trust of your spouse.

I know it's scary, but otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy thinking about what they might be doing.

You can rationalize and recognize your husband's trustworthiness, but I suspect logic won't trump that gut feeling. If your husband is in the basement two feet from this girl, are the kids also there? I'm with Dawn -- I'd vote for Motel 6.

Our minds work alike!! lol

There's something completely inappropriate about adults of didfferent genders & families all sleeping in the basement together when it's not an emergency or something. It's just wierd. There's no way on God's green earth I would ever sleep in the basement with my kids, my grown sibilngs and their spouse and their kids. If grandma doesn't have enought spare bedrooms and there are no reasonable hotels/motels around then it's time to reconsider this "vacation". How about all the little cousins sleep in grandmas basement together and one parent a night sleeps down there to supervise but all other adults sleep with their spouse or traveling partner in a bedroom upstairs? Grandma and the rest of the family are a little off kilter if they think this is normal and fun. Bleah.

But for this year - I don't think you need to worry - nothing is going to happen with the other sibilngs, kids and spouses around - even if she threw herself at your husband. YOur husband would rather have your naked body next to his naked boy I'm sure. Your mind will play tricks on you and the thought of a pole dancer sleeping a yard away from your husband would make any wife uneasy I think - but don't allow yourself to be swallowed up in the mind-trap. Enjoy this quiet time alone, take a long bath with lavender bubble bath, luxuriate on the couch all by yourself, watch whatever you want on TV. Then plan around this crazy family situation next year!