Am Feeling Lazy About Potty Training

Updated on July 29, 2011
S.S. asks from Los Angeles, CA
18 answers

My 25 month old has many of the signs that he's ready for potty training (going off of those checklists drs give you) but I'm not looking fwd to potty training him. Right now, he does the thing where he asks once in a while to go potty. I take off his diaper and he sits and then nothing and then he pops back up. I did buy pullups but haven't yet used them as he hasn't asked to potty in awhile. I just hear all these stories of how diffiult it is, how many accidents there are, how inconvenient it is when you're out and about... argh! Am I just being really lazy at the expense of my son? lol. How did you potty train and how old was your child? How long did it take and any helpful tips?? I don't even know where to begin. Should i buy one of those potty training books? Or can this wait longer?? Thanks!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We trained my son when he was 25 months old. We put him in underwear, took him to the bathroom a lot and that was it. No stickers, m&Ms, etc. He had frequent accidents the first 3-4 days and a few the rest of the week. That was it. It is so much less work to have a potty trained kid - no changing them, no buying diapers, no diaper genie, no lugging those giant sausages outside on garbage day.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.F.

answers from Pocatello on

I started potty training my first way too early and it was very time consuming and frustrating. With my second child I waited until shewas 2 1/2 before i even started, she picked it up really quickly and did very well! So starting young is not a great idea in my opinion. I'd say wait 4-6 months and then give it a go.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I completely understand where you're coming from. It took three years to train our oldest (well, a year and a half before he was considered trained, and then another year and half before he stopped having regular accidents) ... he had zero interest in potty training. Thought he'd go to his prom still in Pull Ups!

Thought we'd take a break and hold off training his sister, but when she was two, she said she wanted to learn to use the potty. We reluctantly started the process. She wanted panties, so we moved her into them. She trained within a month. Piece of cake. We didn't even do the potty parties, rewards and all the crazy things we tried with her brother. Just took her to the potty when she needed to go or when it seemed time (not even using a timer).

If you want to do this, don't use Pull Ups. You have to commit to underwear and commit to cleaning up the 1,000 potential accidents coming your way. If your son is motivated, that's huge and it may mean this will go well, just as it did with our daughter.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter wasn't ready until she was nearly 4. (to add - she was fully trained in a week - in reality, overnight... but it was all in bribery with Barbies - she was so easy for PTing)

My son is about to turn 3 and he's not completely ready. I know he'll be more difficult than my daughter was.

Don't think you're alone. I am loathing the thought of the messes my son will be making without a diaper... Because he doesn't care about being wet or poopy.

My daughter HATED having a wet or poopy diaper.

1 mom found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

if he's showing signs of being ready then you probably shouldnt ignore it. Keep letting him use the potty NO pressure just let him use the potty several times throughout the day. Read kids books about using the potty (I recommend sesame street and Mr Rogers) and watch videos and let him take the lead. One M&M each time he uses the potty is enough

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have 2 boys. Both potty trained by 2 1/2, however from what I've read, heard, and know that is not the norm. If you start too early(which we did with both) it's frustrating for everyone. What we did was try it for a week, then if it goes well, continue. If it doesn't, stop and start again in a month or two. Your son will let you know when he's really ready, and it doesn't hurt to try if he is showing signs. don't make it harder on everyone, but you do have to be consistant once you start, so make sure you're ready to commit as well.

1 mom found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Houston on

I couldnt agree more on not enjoying this part of toddlerhood. I hate standing in the bathroom waiting on pee or poop that NEVER happens. But you just HAVE to do it. It absolutely MUST be done. My advice, have little projects ready for yourself in the potty room. Like putting on your makeup, painting a mural, straitening your hair....etc..... Have magazines ready.

And yes, buy the potty elmo, or a flushing potty book, or a sticker chart, or a potty that sings, or a special new step stool and and make it fun.

Another tip....theres a kind of regular toilet seat that is fitted with a tiny seat that comes down into it, a "no slam" kind. My baby still uses her singing potty but i really do think this tiny throne will come in handy....one day.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from New York on

I tried when my son was about 30 months old b/c he had all of the "readiness" signs, but he wasn't actually ready.

We tried again two months later and within 3 days he was potty trained. Within 2 weeks he was dry at night.

You can't be lazy about this and you can't do it 1/2-a$#ed either. Pick a week- stay home and let him run around naked. He sits on the potty every hour whether he says he has to go or not. When he "tries", he gets an M&M. When he "goes", he gets 2. CONSISTENCY and DO NOT GO ANYWHERE.

Also, don't use pull-ups. The whole point is to take away the sense of "I can go in my pants".

**Three separate friends suggested this method to me and it worked**

1 mom found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Grrr. Just lost my response...here goes again.
IMO, he is still really young.
At 18 months my DD started showing interest in the potty. But it was just that-interest. She didn't potty train until almost 3.5. (And at that age it was a breeze!)
I completely agree w/ CAWriterMom-Pull-ups are a waste of money. They feel like a diaper, you pee and poop in a diaper.
Invest in some padded underpants and see how he does.
Put him on the potty when he asks.

Rent this video from the library: http://www.amazon.com/Once-Upon-Potty-Him-DVD/dp/B0000CBL...

Get a book to read (I liked this one): http://www.amazon.com/Big-Boys-Use-Potty-Publishing/dp/07...

And if all he is showing is a little interest and is really not ready...relax. He will get it when he is ready. ;)

HTH!

ETA: I was remembering the horror that ensued when we used the M&M reward idea...IDK who came up w/ this idea, but it is a bad one. My DD thought she needed M&m's after every bathroom visit. I won't be using this method w/ my DS!

1 mom found this helpful

J.C.

answers from Columbus on

With all of my four children I just started asking them if they had to go when they turned 2. All three of the boys eventually (like, months later) said yes they did, so I took them, they went and then I put them in underwear and jeans, they each had less than 3 accidents (jeans are extremely uncomfortable when wet-and it took me about 10 min to get them changed after the accident)...with my dd it was much more difficult, I tried the same method with no success, finally one day she was telling me what a big girl she was and I just said "no, you aren't a big girl, so and so is a big girl because SHE potties in the potty chair and so and so is a big girl because SHE goes potty in the potty chair," she started pottying that day and never had an accident, lol! All of my kids were trained before their third birthdays, and it was a pleasant experience for all of us because (I feel) I left it up to them and didn't make it a battle. Good luck with your son :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Dallas on

You've gotten a lot of great advice, and I agree to wait. I was vigilant with my son, we started once at 18 mos but he wanted to go next to the potty not in it (darn potty training book that has a page where the kid misses the potty - complete with picture!). So we put it away and tried again around 22 mos and he trained just fine. My dd was pulling off her diaper to use the potty before I got around to potty training her, she's 18 mos younger than my son and diapers were just more convenient, lol. She literally would wear the same diaper all day, even at daycare, because she took it off to potty. So I was a bit of a pt nazi with my son, and totally laid back with my daughter, and guess what? They both potty trained eventually!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

It can wait. My mom started pressuring me to train my daughter at 18 months, and I just waited until she was ready. She was about 2.75 years old, and one Saturday she wanted to put on a pair of underwear. We took the dogs to the park and I forgot to put a diaper on her before we left, and so I told her when we got to the park she'd have to use the potty as I didn't have a diaper or a spare outfit if she had an accident. Every time we passed a bathroom, I asked her if she had to go, and she did go twice. The next day, the same thing, except she had an accident as soon as we got there (luckily that day I had a spare outfit). That entire week she wore underwear during the day, and a pull-up at night. I think she had one daytime peeing accident (again at the park). She was dry every morning, so after that first week I stopped using the pull-ups. She's only had two nighttime accidents, both times last year when I didn't make her go right before bed.

My daughter was in a tot lots program starting at 2, so she was around other kids using the bathroom.

I don't think it could have been any easier (and yes, I've heard girls are much easier to potty train than boys). I highly recommend waiting until they are ready.

T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Wait longer. Can he pull his pants up and down and flush the toilet? If not, then wait until he can.

I potty trained my oldest when she was three. She did it quickly and it wasn't stressful. She was interested around the age of two, but it was more a curiosity, fun type of thing for her. I don't think she was REALLY interested in potty training. I let her go when she wanted and we made it really exciting. She thought it was fun. Then she lost interest. A year or so later, I decided she needed to be potty trained. She was a little over 3 years old. It was fast and easy. Her comprehension was better, and she got it down fast. So, I don't regret waiting.

Then with my son, I decided I'd try around the time he turned two whenever he showed any interested. He potty trained, but it wasn't fun for him (even though I was nice) and it was clearly too stressful at times. He didn't know how to pull his pants up or down. He had to rely on me WAY TOO much, not just for pulling his pants up and down, but I had to watch him closely every day to remind him to go potty. I felt more like I was potty trained for him. And I had a newborn I was taking care of too. So, after four months, and after thinking how silly I was for wanting to potty train him when he wasn't independent enough, we stopped. When he turned three, I potty trained him. By then he was able to pull his pants up and down on his own and flush the toilet. He needs help wiping after #2, but that's no problem. (my girls could pull their pants up and down at 2 yrs, but he didnt' master that skill until later).

So, with child #3, she just barely turned three. Through out her 2nd year, if she wanted to go potty, I would take her. We made it fun and exciting, but she led it completely. I never tried to force her to potty train. I learned from my other two that I feel like it's kind of pointless and not worth the work when you can just wait a little longer and it's WAY easier for them and for you. She just barely turned three (a few days ago) and so soon we'll be getting her into potty training mode. I told her that now she's three, she's so big that she's going to get to start wearing underwear and going potty in the toilet all the time! I made it sound super exciting. She's excited. I just need to get my baby napping better and not taking up so much of my time so I can be available enough for my 3 yr old! Hopefully that will be soon.

So, my advice, here's what you look for in order of importance (my importance):
- Can your son pull his pants up and down on his own (he doesn't need to be able to button them)?

If the answer to that one is a no, then stop there and don't potty train.

But if the answer is yes...

- Can he flush the toilet?
- Is he consistently interested?
- Can he communicate with you?

If those are "no", then I'd wait. Quite possibly he's going through a phase of showing interest, but it's mostly just for fun. All of my kids did that. I think most people potty train at that stage, but I find that often it ends up too stressful for the child (and parent) and in the end, I feel like it's best to wait.

I'm definitely not anti-early training. I think it's great if it works, but if you don't feel like it's time (even just for you), then wait. There is NOTHING wrong with potty training later. It will only get easier and be accomplished faster. Though, odds are if you don't do it now, you won't be able to do it until he turns three. There is an age (between 2 and 3) where they are very resistant. So, likely it'll be now or else wait until he's three.

When you do potty train, I highly recommend the bare bummed method. For some reason, they are naturally more aware of their bowels and urinating when they have no pants or underwear on at all. They will still have mistakes because they need to learn what to do when they have to pee/poop, but it only takes a few mistakes and they are trained. I have mine sit on towels when they are bare bummed for cleanliness purposes!

It was SO MUCH easier to train mine when they were older.

I've written a novel. I hope that helps some!

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Actually day care started training at 3 and he was day trained by 3 1/2.
I didn't want to deal with poo/pee everywhere.
I also didn't want frustration by trying before he was ready.
I let day care lead, they told me what they were doing, and I followed up at home.
He was in pull ups at night till he was 7.
We finished pull ups when he woke up dry for 2 solid weeks in a row.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.G.

answers from Fort Wayne on

its funny you posted this I was about to post the same question, except dd (24mo) has major interest in pt-ing. she has been going on the pot all day minus a few accidents (TG for hardwood floors) lol. I have been letting her go w/o a diaper for a couple of days now and today it just seems to click. I hope this is a good trend. She starts school on the 18th and I would love to have her trained. She gets 2 m&m's and 2 gummy bears as her reward. it seems to work. gl just follow his lead. also try cherrioes in the pot if you want him to stand and aim.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

I wouldn't call it laziness I'd call it "preparation". :)

My husband and I were the same way. We started/stopped. Our hearts weren't in it and neither was our son's. I read lots about how especially boys aren't usually ready until after they are 3 and it was true for us. Suddenly one day this summer at 3 1/2 I caught him opening his diaper to watch himself pee, I seized the moment and it went from there and it was a BREEZE. We have only had one accident - he waited to long and couldn't get his pants down, and never had a poop in the pants, (he did for my mom, but I realized she had a friend over and he was being shy and didn't want to tell her he had to go). It's been two months and it's easy breezy. He only wears PU's at night and other times he doesn't want them on.

I highly recommend waiting until he shows an interest, otherwise it's a battle of wills and it's not worth it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Springfield on

I waited until my son was close to 4 years old. He was trained in 3 days with very few accidents ... usually just because he gets busy and forgets or he doesn't quite make it to the potty in time.

Personally, I'd wait at least a year. If you wait until they are ready, it will be so much easier.

A.R.

answers from St. Louis on

I think 3 years old is the best age for potty training....Even when kids show to be "ready" earlier, most of them are not. Just follow those "signs" and let him "play" potty when he wants to do it. Every kid is so different just be patient and do not pressure it. My both kids were potty trained at the age of 3 and many of my friends' also. My older son took more time to be potty trained at night but the little one was totally potty trained day and night at 3 years old. He never had an "accident"not now not then. With my first one I tried all those things that you read on books for potty training and never worked, and finally I made it easy, put some music and books in the bathroom and he loved it. With the youngest, I did the the same since no stickers,videos or tricks worked then, so I just did the same, I made it fun. He loved the music in the bathroom, he sang and he felt so well about using the toilet (both of my kids use from the beginning the toilet-with the round seat for kids of course) When I noticed they were "ready", actually ready, I took them to the bathroom every single day at the same times, this is very important. Potty training was successful in 3 weeks with the older one and 2 weeks with the little one. The older one took more time also to be dry overnights, and my little one, since day one, woke up during the night to go to the bathroom...I don't know how, but I think it was just his body, that's why I think you don't have to pressure your little one so much....follow your instincts and his signs.
Remember that every kid is totally different, you will really know when yours is actually ready. Be patient.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions