Also, What About "Mommy Alone Time" When Homeschooling?

A.,

I homeschooled my son until he was 10. I have a daugher as well. Both are now in public school (mixed feelings about that, but our dynamic was such that homeschooling was not making for a happy family!)

One thing to think about is just because public school keeps your kids for 7 hours a day/5 days a week does not mean you have to spend that much time "homeschooling". Think about all the transition times, busy work, waiting around, lunch, recess, etc. If you and your child have a good repore (sp?) and you are organized, you need only spend 3-4 hrs a day 4 days a week to get all the work in. Field trips are greatand break up the tedium. Find other parents to trade "field trip" outings with. You take the kids one time, so and so takes them the next. Also homschooling allows for her to participate in classes like swimming, sports, art etc. That can be free time for you. If you find other homeschoolers, trade playdates during the week or on weekends and get time to yourself that way.

When I homeschooled (and worked from home) I would claim 1 hour in the morning (7:00-8:00) for myself to clean, putter, organize, whatever. I'd give the kids a 30+ minute "recess" after lunch and then designate between 3:00 and 4:00 pm as mom time again. I found that if I was consistant about nabbing a few chunks of time for me to get my stuff done, I was better able to focus on the kids. They also figured out the routine and were pretty good at self-entertaining or working on their school stuff during my unavailable time.
There are tons of homeschoolers out there and lots of activities to participate in.

If you are in the Oympia area, check out the ORLA program. It is free, funded by public school, and offers lots of interesting and varied classes from art, to history, to writing, to dance....

good luck!

A.,
I don't homeschool for that specific reason. I need a break. I am not opposed to homeschooling, but I value my alone time. Our youngest goes off to Kindergarten this fall and I am so jazzed. I will actually get time to go grocery shopping without children. We are fortunate to have a VERY good elementary school in our area. I also see the school as a great resource for socialization, respect for others and rules, sharing and having fun.
Each month I treat myself to a massage. They have childcare there, but I choose to go alone. I enjoy a car ride that doesn't consist of constant chatter from the back seat. This month I have also added in a pedicure.
Having alone time is so important. Even going to the grocery store alone is great. If you have friends nearby that can take her for a play date or family you can have watch her so you can go to a movie or out to the library or a walk alone would be great. (I have no family nearby, so I depend on friends for a break.)
It can be difficult, but make the time, you'll be glad.
Welcome to Mommyhood. You will never be alone, literally.
Cheers!

I have been there, Friend! :) I was a single Mom for 9 years (until 3 lovely years ago) and I am an in-home childcare provider (www.myfathersgardenpreschool.com) and have homeschooled my daughters for 9 years now. You are wise to recognize that you will need your space. My "words of wisdom" to you are this: remember that you have to take care of their Mama first. My bedroom was (and is) my sanctuary. They are not allowed to come plowing in there. They always knew to knock, even if they had a nightmare, and I would always respond.
Think about what it is that makes you feel renewed and refreshed. Is it reading? Going out to lunch with a friend? A walk in the park? Craft time? Prayer time? A nice, hot bubble bath? A yoga DVD? A chilled glass of water in a goblet with a lemon wedge? These are all simple and inexpensive. After you have found out what it is that refreshes you, think of a practical way to make it happen. Most children go to bed before their parents, which can be a good time to relax for a few minutes. When my children crawled out of bed to ask me, "What are you doing/watching/eating, etc.?" I was kind but firm with them, and said, "This is not your businss. This is Mommy's time alone, and your time to sleep. I am relaxing for a minute all by myself, and then I am going to bed too. I love you, Sweetheart, now off you go!" (Mind you, this was said sweetly, not snarled.) :) One more note, you will want to make sure you spend time with people who are really enjoyable to be around. You know, thekind that make you laugh and enjoy yourself. I applaud you for having the courage to take this on. Blessings to you and your precious daughter!

Hello,
Wow! sounds like you'll have your hands full. I also homeschool. I have three boys ages 8,10 and 14. I've been homeschooling for about 5 years now. My husband is a big help with giving me breaks. Being that you're currently single, that advise doesn't help you much, so he's some ideas.
The obvious is family members. If you have anyone that is willing to watch her for you once a week or even a couple times a month so that you can take a breather. Also if you know any other homeschool moms maybe you can trade off giving eachother breaks. You take their kid or kids one day a week and they take your's one day week.
It is very important to have some break time. It's important for you and it's important for her. I would suggest that since it is just you in the home and you won't be getting the breaks needed as often as you might like them, I suggest that you don't over work yourself during school time. The beauty of homeschool is that you can do as little or as much work in a day as you feel you are able too. If it seems like a more stressful day than usual, Then do less work that day and relax. Maybe that will help both of you from getting frustrated with each other and make the day a little more peaceful.
Good luck to you. You're doing the right thing. I'll be keeping you in prayer.

I agree with Jenn B. Schedules/routines are important for you and the kids. I homeschool our three kids and I've not been real good about keeping to a routine. Things go so much better when I do. I'd also add that SQUIRT is great! SQUIRT is Super Quiet Uninterupped Reading Time (ours is 1 hour). This gives the kids a chance to read whatever they'd like and gives you a chance to read for fun or do something else. My son loves it!
Also, I don't know if you've decided "how" you plan to school, but I love the ACE program. www.schooloftomorrow.com It is a system of workbooks with everything in it. I don't have to come up with what to teach when -- it's all in there. I'm the supervisor. This frees up a lot of time for me. The kids work at their own pace in each subject (e.g.: 3rd grade math and 5th grade english). Oh, I should add that this is a Bible-based curriculum.
Good for you for taking such good care of your daughter!

Are you saying you plan on homeschooling AND working? Or is homeschooling going to be your work? From past experiences of close family friends--you can't do both and be successful at both, one will suffer.

I do know in the district where I teach, there is a public homeschool center to serve small groups of homeschooled kids in certain academic areas. Maybe something like that could offer a schedule when you could take your daughter so you can have some down time. Check your local area for homeschooling groups and see if you can work something out.

This might be totally offensive, but you didn't mention your reasons for homeschooling, so here goes: Are you absolutely certain that homeschooling her is going to be the best thing for her (and you)? If you are a single parent, with an only child, do you think it might wear you (and possibly her) thin to be the only person with her from morning til the end of the day? Please consider how crucial socializing is to young children and explore options for her to experience variety of situations and people. I am sorry if this question/concern seems harsh, but it was the first thing that crossed my mind when reading your post.

I posted this before so please excuse me for repeating myself. When my kids were little, we had "quiet reading time" every afternoon for an hour. This was time do your own thing and think your own thoughts. The idea came from an older mother of several children who always seemed so calm. Of course, when your kids are quiet and entertaining themselves, you must be quiet too! No doing housework or talking on the phone, this is your chance to read for pleasure or take a nap.

The other thing I did every day was to tape educational TV shows and let my kids watch 30 minutes in the late afternoon while I prepared dinner. But since your daughter is already 6 years old, this might be a good time to have her help you in the kitchen. She will enjoy working with you and in a few years, you can sit back while she cooks for you!

"Mommy Alone Time"??? does that exist? - hmmmm..... yes, 3am in the bathroom after resettling the baby... that is about it.

Cheers to you! for planning ahead. I took me awhile to realize that time away from me is just as important to my son's sanity and personal development as it is to mine. This is the time when they learn how to interact with other kids and adults...without "MUM! GUARDIAN OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD! present to ask advice, judge, mediate, or swoop them out of harms way (or into time-out ;). Talk about icing on the cake!!

As always, what works for one never works for all, and situations are always changing.

What we do :

1) We actually co-teach with another family.

- Our schedule is 4-5 hours a day, 4 days a week.
- This breaks down to each of us teaching 2 days a week.
- Conversely it means that we each get 10 hrs child free.
- We also teach over the "weekend" Sat-Sun, because, that's the way it works best with our work schedules.

2) Weekly outside classes

- Sports & Non-sports. (THRIVE art, music, swimming, soccer, basketball, gymnastics, drama, yoga for kids, dance, & martial arts are ours for now. As the kids get bigger there'll be others...& yes, these rotate with the seasons, I am neither slave driver nor taxi service! :)
- For most of these, after the first few classes, I LEAVE. otw "MUM! GUARDIAN of et al" is still on duty.
- Result : 1-3 hours of alone time per/ class.
- Honesty Note - Some I stay.
- Honesty Note - I will get gaff from other parents, typically for not being "interested" in my child. When this happens, I get to laugh, and say it's the other way around, and explain. :)

3) Bi-monthly seminars

- These are classes we have taught in-home by other adults. We pull hard from the grad-student pool that is at the UW. Some examples are: Chocolate Making (chemistry, math, physiology, history, goeography, biology), Circus-Arts (PE, history, physics), Astronomy, etc.
- Result: I'm still on duty, but I'm not the primary focus of attention.

4) Utilizing "Parents Night Out"s

- A lot of kids programs have these...we tend to stick with the ones he's in (ie his gymnastics, or drama, or etc. as opposed to the YMCA)
- Result : 3-6 hours depending on the program.

What we don't do yet, but other homeschoolers we know do:

A) A full-time/part-time/or shared Nanny.
- Several of our friends do this, and we're considering doing it part-time for 1 or 2 days a week for when I'm back in school. It blew my mind that a nanny is typically LESS expensive then McChildcare. Most of the ones I know are certified to be able to receive state monies also. Our son gets LOTS of time around other kids in his outside lessons, so that's not a concern for us. Aside from that, ALL of the nannies I've met through friends (or that have been my classmates) have been bright, inquisitive, fascinating people who are totally devoted to the kids in their charge. Hmmmm...nanny v. McChildcare. Sounds like a discussion for another forum.
- Option most used (in my circle) by married & working
- Result: X number of hours, decided on by you

B) An au pair

- Same theme as above, different commitment / space needed level.
- The option used by most of the single & working, and by one married & working couple (in my circle).
- Result : 32-40 hours per week.
- Result : You also have someone living with you. Not for everyone. :)
- FYI - The US State Dept. has a phenomenal program the brings over undergrads for 1-2 years. They can only 'work' up to 32 hours a week, and their host family has to help them enroll in one college level class, but its the program I know best. Typical outlay is around 4,000 up front, and $150 a week. More info can be found on the US State dept. website.

Anyhow...I hope this was helpful. Take what you like and discard the rest. Incidentally, and ironically, the most flak I've received about homeschooling has been from other homeschoolers. Don't let people bug you about working AND teaching. Be true to your own heart, and what's needed in your own life, and have FUN!

~ Z.