Almost Nine Yr Old Daughter Doesn't Pay Attention at School

Get her tested. Then you can rule out ADD or a disabilty of some sort. Then you can approach the teacher that she needs something more.
C. B

It sounds a lot like ADD to me too (without the Hyperactivity). My mom has ADD and my brother has ADHD; I also taught a child with ADHD a few years ago. I've noticed that kids with ADD tend to be quite bright. They don't do so great in school simply because they can't pay attention to the things they need to in school. (It's not really something they can control).
The great thing is that there are a lot of treatment options. I would suggest avoiding medicating your daughter unless all other options have failed. But start with your doc (find one you trust) and ask for information. You may be referred to a specialist who can help you and your daughter with behavior modification techniques and such. You can also get help from the school. If you can get an official dignosis (whether she has ADD or sensory integratation issues) the school must also help by making accomadations appropriate to her challenge (talk to the teacher, principal, and special educator right away to see what help you can get even before a diagnosis). It shouldn't be "resource" - that's not what she needs. Be her advocate with the school to make sure she gets the best.

Just a couple thoughts (and I am not an expert, so you can take or leave these). Have you tried talking to her teacher about letting your daughter have something to do with her hands during class time? Something that doesn't require her to pay attention to her hands, like a "tangle" toy or something. Just a thought. Another thing to consider is to have her checked for Asperger's Syndrome (sp?). That could explain some of the social issues, easy frustration and emotional immaturity. See if her school's psychologist can give you more information. She may be able to be helped with some social coaching if that is the case. What you are describing reminds me of my younger brother, who has been diagnosed with this. He also had unexplained hearing loss as a young child and trouble with social skills.

I would certainly check into the possibilty of ADD, but also for Sensory Integration issues. She sounds a lot like my nephew (even right down to the prolonged ear infections) who has been diagnosed with SI. It can affect any or all of the sensory areas, and can be either extreme- avoiding or seeking sensory stimulation. With my nephew, he could not process too much auditory stimulation and would shut it out after a time. He seemed like he was in his own world as well, because of it. We thought initially that he had hearing loss because he not only didn't seem to hear a lot of things, but when he spoke it had almost a muffled quality such as you would hear when a deaf person speaks only less obvious. The speech part was because he had all those infections during a critical time in his speech development, when all sounds were muffled to him. The seeming lack of hearing was due to the SI, him shutting out all the excess sound that he couldn't sort through. There are things such as occupational therapy that can really help, and the younger you get a diagnosis the better. If she does have it, I would look into Child Find, a great resource. They can help with funding, as it is affecting her school work. I'm not sure, but they may be able to help you get the original testing for the diagnosis as well. Also, if she does have SI that can affect them socially somewhat as they seem to have a greater need than many other kids to try to gain control of their environment and it can make them a bit more oblivious to the feelings of others. I hope you can figure out the right solution for your daughter!

We had the same problem with my now 13 year old daughter. She is bright but thoroughly distracted with everything else in life. This year, we placed her in a charter school and it seems to have helped her immensely. They have smaller classes, more robust curriculum and have a variety of teaching methods. Not to mention the teachers are much more vested in her success than the ones in the general public schools. Maybe look at some different education opportunities and see if a change of scenery helps.

I have an 11 year old boy with some of the same things going on. I took him to Children's Hosp to be evaluated and they diagnosed him with Sensory Processing Disorder. I had done some research and was thinking maybe Aspergers Syndrome. The doctor said it was not that but suggested reading the book "The Out Of Sync Child"(you can get it at Borders) which I highly recomend. It would help you determine if your daughter is showing signs of SPD or something else. They go over the traits of SPD and some other disorders. I would also recomend talking to your daughters school and see if they could do some testing. My son has had testing by the special ed department, school psycologist and nurse. They are working hard to address his needs. He is in 6th grade and I started noticing these behaviors around 4th grade. I really wish I would have known how to handle this when he was younger. I wish you luck and hope that you can get help earlier than I was able to.

Check into her sleep patterns. Does she snore? Is she tired in the morning? Sleep apnea is a huge issue for many kids that can often be resolved by a tonsilectomy and an adnoidectomy. My daughter's airway was down to 25%. She had the surgery this summer and is sleeping better, getting up better in the morning and seems to have more focus. It is not a cure-all, she is still easily distracted and it is not going to change the fact that she is a visual learner, but it has helped.

I would also cut down on TV, especially TV with ads, because I think they exaccerbate the short attention span. We are encouraging more reading and art projects to train her to concentrate for longer periods. We have added piano lessons and the first few were tough, but she is focusing for longer stretches. I have also found some great problem-solving computer games that give her screen time, but encourage her to focus and interact (Zoo tycoon, Sea World tycoon are excellent, so is Putt Putt).
Good Luck

What does she eat for breakfast? Certain foods (especially those with sugar in them, like kids' cereals) turn off the brain so to speak. It makes it hard for you to concentrate.
http://drphil.com/articles/article/152/ This article talks about ADD, but according to Frank Lawless, the nutrition affects even those without the disorder. You might also look into his book The ADD Answer.

T.,

If your daughter is more visual like me, perhaps she can do what I do. Have a pad of scratch paper handy during the lecture and start drawing something that relates to what is being said. Encourage her to put important key phrases down as she is drawing, especially due dates, etc.

However your daughter learns best, use that during the lecture. There are many of us out there that have wondering minds. Learning to master the mind is a lifetime skill.

With my whole heart,
C.

Get the school phycologist and OT invovled, you will have to start with the teacher and really push for it but they, a lot of the time, have great resources and tricks to help kids with all kinds of issues. Just don't wait, it can take a while to get them on the ball.

Hi T.,
Your daughetr sounds like a visual spatial learner, even down to the history of ear infections. She must also have a very creative imagination which gets in the way of paying attention, but is also a great gift. She needs to understand when she is in her imagination and when she is present in the classroom, school work etc. Almost all people who are picture thinkers struggle with writing assignments, organization, time management, etc.
You can look up information on your daughter at a website here in Denver. Linda Silverman is a developmental psych who has been collecting information on visual learners for 25 years. She has been mostly looking at the gifted side of this learning style.
www.gifteddevelopment.com
I also am a licensed teacher, educational consultant and Davis Dyslexia facilitator who works with this population of learners. You can contact me at ###-###-#### if you need any other help, but go to the web site first. She also wrote a book called "Upside down Brilliance" it is out of print, but you can request it through your library...You have an intelligent daughter, she just needs to understand how she learns.
Best wishes,
C. Punch

T.

Here are a couple of suggestions that I would give you. First talk to her doctor and see what he/she would say about recommending an Ears, Nose, Throat (ENT) doctor to have her ears looked at because your daughter might just have the beginnings of deafness or some hearing impairment issues that this specialist can help. The other suggestion I have is again talk to her doctor about the possiblity of her having Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) if she is hyperactive too it might be ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder and there are a number of ways to help that out one would be diet an then medicines.

Try those to suggestions out and then go from there. If she is starting to be hearing impaired get in touch with an Audiologist to get hearing aids and maybe start on some sign language to help her communicate with everyone around her.

If you need the help with the sign language I can help you by getting you the right books that will help everyone in your family. Let me know if you need some names of books that are just on sign language. Feel free to email me personally if you need more suggestions on how to talk to doctors about the ADD/ADHD or the hearing impairment.

A. M.
____@____.com

You have just described my hubby's child-hood...:( He went through the same thing, and he STILL can not focus for very long. He is almost deaf in one ear, and he has ADHD. This wasn't figured out until only about 7 years ago. You have some good information here about getting her tested and such. But I wouldn't succumb to "meds" if it is ADHD. You can help her along if that is what it is. You can do all sorts of nutrition, and activities to stimulate the brain. The kind my hubby has isn't that he is "way too hyper" he is just the opposite. (some kids with the "hyper" disorder sometimes need meds) But if she is hard of hearing, that could affect her so much! When you can't hear, you miss so much...His nephews suffer from ADD, and one of them that is 10, acts out in somewhat the same way. And he is soooo smart!! He just needs that extra help with organizing and such.
I could never figure out why my husband could never "remember" or why he would get so bored so quickly, or even HEAR me! Now I know.
Just a thought! Good luck to you! LT

Has your daughter been evaluated for a learning disability? Don't rely on the school to do this for you. Their testing is geared more as a screening tool. They completely missed that my daughter was dyslexic (Colorado doesn't recognize it as a learning disability) she also has no phonemic awareness (couldn't spell to save her life), and slow processing speed. Our doctor referred us to the Learning Services department at Children's Hospital, and they nailed the diagnosis. We weren't able to get her any special education help, (she didn't qualify due to dyslexia) but we were able to get her on a 504 (federally mandated) which requires the school to make classroom modifications i.e. preferential seating, going over the planner with both teacher and parent signatures, copies of study guides and outlines etc. This is individualized by each students needs. We also went through a program called Learning RX that specifically targets the weak cognitive skills of the child. Our daughter improved tremendously. This year, she is making all A's and B's on her own I might add. Every year up until now I have had to sit down with her nightly and teach her what she wasn't learning at school. We also changed schools to one that would follow her 504. We had problems at a previous school with a teacher refusing to follow it. We were told by the teacher that our daughter was just lazy and needed to work harder. My daughter is extrememly bright, but her learning needs/style is different then the average kid. She is very artistic and loves to doodle and design clothes. Needless to say, I was furious, and couldn't get the administration force the teacher to follow it. We ended up removing her from the school, and I homeschooled her the remainder of the school year. We then changed schools and had her repeat 5th Grade. She was one of the youngest in her class initially and now, she is one of the oldest. The one year of maturity has made a huge difference also. She is organized with her school work for the first time in her life, and is very responsible too. Her confidence is finally coming back and she is enjoying school for the first time. I believe that Children's Hospital would also be able to determine if there is a hearing problem also. There is hope, it's just a matter of being guided in the right direction. Best of luck and God Bless.

I just dealt with this recently with my 10 (11 on friday) year old daughter! Her teacher requested I take her to the doctor to get her diagnosed for ADD. She came up as borderline and after talking with the doctor about her, we both agreed it could very possibly be something more than that. I will be getting her further evalutated by a counselor not because I believe there is anything 'wrong', but because it can't hurt. What I've done so far is she writes down her assigments every day. Her teacher looks them over and signs it. When my daughter comes home, she does her homework, I go through all of it and check off what she's done and then sign it. It has made a HUGE difference!

'Google' Central Auditory Processing Disorder. DS has this, and your daughter's 'symptoms' sound similar.

Wow, I thought it was just me. I am going through the same thing with my daughter. She is 11 years old, very bright!!! I try praising her all the time to encourage her, however she too is emotionally immature, she is 11 however she still plays and thoughts of an 8-9-10 year little girl. All her freinds are much younger than her, she prefers to play with younger kids, she is more comfortable. However she is smart and wonderful (not talking just as her mother, but as a person that sees this). Please share with me whatever advice you can get with me so I can try as well. All I have learned is to praise her as much as possible to boost her esteem and self-worth. It is still hard, cause when she has errors, she shuts down tremendously. All her teachers says she has great potential however has a difficult time pulling it out of her as well.

I would seriously consider ADHD. I've read that it manifests itself differently especially in girls where their attention wanders but they aren't disruptive so it gets missed. I would at least have it checked out because if you know the reason why she isn't focusing it will be much easier to deal with. Talk to the school they should be able to test her or you can take her to her doctor and request that she be tested, although it might cost more to go throught the doctor you might be able to get her tested more quickly.

Good Luck

PS. I would also talk to the teacher about writing down the assignments whether in a planner on a sheet of paper or the board this might help your daughter know what has to be turned in and when. A checklist right on her desk that she can mark of when the assignment is done might be a good idea.

I have a 7 year old in second grade.
I just had parent/teacher meetings and the teacher and I came to the conclusion my daughter is very bright, but overly social and not able to focus well or read directions in class.
She if she is interested is amazingly right on, however if she isn't she loses all ability to tune in and do what she needs to do.
She is a "B" student typically, in math she is around a C, because she doesn't read the instructions well, assumes she knows it and doesn't ask for help, OR is too busy worrying about what shoes so and so has on or what time recess is.

I would have her evaluated for learning issues, dyslexia, ADHD (which I don't think she has because she can focus when she wants to), even being gifted as these kids get bored with typical school work and lose focus. You mentioned she is above grade level on some things so she could be gifted! Once you rule all that out, then go from there. Don't just assume the teacher knows it all. I did a lot of testing here at home. I got workbooks in math, timed her, worked with her and SHE IS SO ABLE TO DO THE WORK WITH EASE!! With doing this I came to the conclusion after watching her in class, she is too social in class and doesn't pay attention. At home she did fine when she had no distractions, read the instructions well and wasn't around her friends. I am not going to home school her, she needs the social skills to be fine tuned and it is a great school. I believe she needs to be exposed to distractions and get used to them!

So, she and I sat down, discussed if she isn't going to read directions carefully, if she isn't going to pay attention in class, if she isn't finishing her work in class then she will have work sent home and her weekends and play time will be spent doing the work!! She isn't obviously interested in doing in class. She knows I am serious, we had to do this last year for a bit. She hated spending fun time doing homework! It was all she needed to get the idea of if she gets it done in class then she gets her free time back.

In a week there has been an improvement already!! The teacher moved her further away from her friends she chats with and that has helped some. My daughter is a young first grader, so there are social skills they will get as they get older and being overly chatty is one of them.

My suggestion is go sit and watch how she does in the classroom setting. Once you ruled or or figured out if it is a learning issue, then go from there. Go with your gut on what she needs from you and the teacher. It is something too to think about outside tutoring, like Sylvan or something to help her get some skills she may not have to learn easier.

Have you had her ears checked again?

Have you had her teacher move her closer to where she is talking? When I taught school if there were kids who weren't always paying attention it generally worked to have the kids moved closer to where I was doing most of my teaching. That might be a help. Don't have the teacher single her out, but maybe have the teacher make sure that your daughter knows exactly what she is supposed to do. She can do that without singling her out. It might help the other students if she did that.

For the perfection/frustration. We always tell my son to take a deep breath, look at it again, and try to figure out how he can solve the problem. Sometimes he is just too tired and nothing will work, and we have to have him get away from the project for a bit, or just give in and help him, but usually he will calm down and look at it from a different angle, and usually figure it out.

It sounds like you may describing the symptoms of ADHD. (Contrary to popular belief ADHD does not necessariy include hyper behavior...it very often is characterized by a lack of focus.) If I were you, I would contact your school's counselor, and ask to have your daughter evaluated for ADHD. It's very simple, and mostly requires you and her teacher to fill out questionaires. Then, if it turns out that a diagnosis is made, get good information to help you as soon as possible. You can request an "intake" meeting with the district Family Education Center. You will speak with another district counselor who will help you determine a plan of action to help you find the tools to help your daughter--it may include short-term counseling, district classes taught for parents of children with ADHD, reading materials and information about support groups, etc. There is certainly a lot of stigma regarding ADHD and a LOT of misinformation out there, so make sure you speak with a professional and get good advice about medication, behavior management, etc. If you do get a diagnosis, don't be afraid...this is something that can be managed. Good luck.

From,
the mother of an 11-year-old son diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 10

I have the same problem - always have. If someone talks without getting me involved in the discussion, my mind wanders. Always has. One thing that helped a lot, though, was when my parents got my eyes checked in 5th grade. I was working on paying attention because it turned out that I really couldn't see the board very well. But as a 5th grader, I didn't know that. Don't know if that will help or not.

Hi T.,

You mentioned that your daughter at a younger age had ''muffled'' hearing and wax build up, along with numerous ear infections. Have you ever had her hearing tested by an audiologist in a sound proof booth? I strongly suggest it, might just be what the problem is with her missing out on school work because she ''wasn't paying attention'', or why she gets ''bored'' when someone talks at length. I am the mom of two hearing impaired kids, so yeah, I know what I'm talkin' about. Been there done that. Good luck!

Hello,

It sounds like she has had a lot working against her. I would put myself and my 12 year old daughter in the same category as your daughter. What helped me was time. I was a late bloomer emotionally and socially. What helped my daughter was a loving teacher who cared enough to find out what made my BB tick. We found that when she didn't pay attention, she would shut down because of the noise level or the instructions were too long and complicated. If there was something happening in the classroom when she was trying to complete an assignment, she couldn't concentrate. The teacher set up a place for her to work away from the other students, she had the option to remove herself if she couldn't concentrate. It helped so much. And the teacher tried to keep the noise level down. With back to back teachers who really cared and then a year of home school, she is back on track and doing really well in 7th grade. She is different and marches to the beat of her own drum, she is happy and I love and like her the way she is. I think your little one will be ok, love and time.

You might check out www.interactivemetronome.com Even if she is gifted and bored, it will help her be able to pay attention better. Also, it will help her interpret social circumstances and be a bit more graceful. My mom works with this in Denver, and some of the best results come from gifted kids who sound like your daughter. Our son is very similar and it has helped him tremendously even though he's been doing it with Grandma.

There are many suggestions for getting your daughter tested for a variety of things. I would add that if she is not an auditory learning, she may only need alternate methods for the teacher to communicate with her. If you have a teacher who is willing to work with her (and the teacher SHOULD be willing to do this) she might be able to offer alternate ways for your daughter to get the information she is missing. Does the teacher write down assignments? Maybe your daughter needs a notebook to write down assignments and the teacher can make sure this is done every day before class is over. Maybe the teacher could make an outline of the talking she is doing so your daughter has something visual to follow along with. There are different tools teachers and parents can bring into a classroom to help your daughter achieve what she is capable of. Not everyone learns the same way and she may just need different tools than her classmates.
Good luck!

I have a son who was diagnosed with CAPD when he was in the 3rd grade. It is where a person hears something from a teacher, and his brain mixes it up and turns it into soup, then he/she tries to process what he hears. Obviously he/she doesn't understand it. Sometimes it helps when he/she hears to same thing in a different way, then ask what you said back to see if they are getting it. Anyway, see if you can get a battery of tests done to determine if she has it or some other learning disorder.

Have you tested your daughter's hearing with an audiologist? My daughter is deaf in her right ear and it does affect her attention and her ability to be social. Does she have trouble with background noise like air conditioning, tv/radios, vaccuums, noisy kids? It's probably a good idea to get her checked, especially with a history of ear infections. My daughter became much more responsive and interactive once she was fitted for a hearing aid. If she does have a hearing loss, be sure to work closely with the school to make sure her learning environment is such that it accomodates her hearing loss. A couple of great organizations that work with kiddos with hearing issues are CHIP and the Listen Foundation. Good luck!

That sounds like ADD to me. My brother has it, too, and has the same difficulties in school. He just has no idea what's going on because he can't pay attention! I would talk to her doctor about this possibility and see what your options are to treat it.

She's bored! If she's 'book' smart and not particularly graceful in social situations then most likely she's quite gifted. The school she attends ~probably~ is not doing enough to hold her interest by using different methods of education to appeal to her more kinesthetic learning style. Not unusual. You just need to do more research on a school that will be better about appealing to different learning styles (montessori, waldorf, or just an accelerated curriculum at a public G&T school).

GL!