Almost a Teenager

It is so nice when they really want to be there for you. Enjoy it while it lasts, cause in just a year or so away it may all change quickly. If you really want to show her how much you appreciate her help and show her it is ok to go and have fun to here is an idea that may benifit the both of you. See if you can get a friend or relative to watch the younger children. Then start with a mom and daughter date early in the evening kinda like around 4 or 5 get the best dinner deals. Go somewhere that you both like or she does kinda a grown up place not like McDonalds, or even try a new resterant. Discuss how important she is to you and how she plays an important role in your family plus explain that you love all the help she gives you but everyone needs some down time/ me time and it is ok. Remember you have to show her that as well. Then pre arrange for some of her closes friends to meet somewhere like the mall or to go miniture golfing something they all like to do. Have it a surprise for her and just let them have fun and just step back and watch or heck even join in if she isn't too "embaraced". lol. Good luck and enjoy yourselves.
Actually I am going to have to do that with my 10yr old son.

She wants to help and it makes her feel important when you need her and her siblings need her as well. Tell her that you love her helping out and that she does a great job, but you want her to be able to do things for herself as well. Let her decide if she wants to go out and do other things, as she gets a little older she will naturally want to do those things, but for now she is needing to be close to home and wanting to be close to you, and by her helping she can be needed and close. Just give her time, before long you will be begging her to stay home.

Explain it to her just the way you posted it here. She sounds very mature for her age and I'm sure she'll understand it that way. Be vary affectionate about it. When you talk to her see if you can't do it one on one like a day or half a day with just you and her spending time together. She will never forget it.

I was in the same position myself at about the same age. I think you should just tell her- sit down somewhere where just the 2 of you can talk and explain that you don't want her to miss out on things and that you really appreciate all her help.
My problem was that for so long I had been at home sitting with my younger sisters, I didn't have much time for friends so made very few. When it came time for me to be able to do things I wanted, I just didn't know what to do. I didn't have many friends as a result of having to be home so much, so I didn't know what to do with myself. My mom suggested I sign up for a team or club and that's what I did. Maybe this will work for your daughter as well.

Hi A., I have a cousin that goes through the same having an older child that helps with the younger. She has to take time to have a one on one day with her oldest to be able to relate with her without the diversion of the younger siblings, whether it be walking around the mall to see her interest or the movies or out to eat alone. It's so important to take that seperate time with her to reassure her that she is not forgotten and appreciated for the strong woman she's growing into, but reinforce the fact that you are still there for her as her mother during the growing pains she will surely soon be going through. Hope this helps
Another single mom,
J.